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Virgins : Do you ever jealous about how those who have felt "young love"?


bertdru

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I know I do. I feel jealous when some person on enotalone/in real life tries to remember their childhood love and so on. I have never fallen in love when I was a teen. I just didn't know any girls well enough to fall in love.

 

It is a pity that I won't have much of a history when I do get my first love

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I was in grade 2.

 

I liked this girl Andrea in my class. I was shy, so my best friend Gene helped us communicate.

 

One day, I was walking around the school and saw Andrea and Gene holding hands, walking around smiling.

 

My tiny heart was broken.

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I will tell you this, A persons first love is amazing...UNTIL the person you gave your virginity to eventually breaks up with you and dashes your heart into a million little pieces.

 

I believe "Young Love" is sometimes fleeting. It is sometimes based on love, and other times on infatuation.

 

True love is the kind of love you have for your friends and family. It never wanes and they are always there for you.

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I gave my virginity to my first love... and now I do feel twinges of regret everytime I think about it.

 

yup, same here. I loved him and he was the biggest ass I have ever dated. Not to mention I was wasted when I tossed in the V-card. But that's a different story.

 

To the OP, I think a lot of us regret it. I wish I would've had the standards and self control that you have and waited for someone that was good enough for me...not some 24-year-old deadbeat scumbag.

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To the OP - I doubt very few of us have fond memories of it all. For me, I hated my teens and the peer pressure and whatnot so I kept myself to myself. As for the 'V card', I too tossed that away quite late and even regret that somewhat in hindsight. At the time, it felt right I guess so I at least know that although I wish things would have been better afterwards.

 

As for jealousy....well I did feel frustrated that I was apparently left behind when all my friends found their significant others. But to broaden the perspective, if I had done the same, I wouldn't have had the life I have had this past few years. I have grown a lot more in that time and lived so when you look at it that way, it's not so bad. Of course, I wonder too why love has been hard to come by and if it is me....

 

But as for you....are you happy with your lot in life? Do you feel that without that significant other, you have been able to experience other positive phases in life instead?

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I'm not jealous at all. I just hate when they think I'm a lesser human being simply because I haven't found anyone I click with yet.

 

That said, it would be nice to experience something in the next year or so, I don't want to get too old before experiencing a relationship - but I'm so busy during the school year I doubt it will happen, and my efforts this summer (partly thanks to a personal tragedy I'm trying to deal with ATM) haven't been too fruitful.

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Although my relationship with my first love (now ex) ended in a horrible manner, I still have some very happy memories from it. We loved each other dearly and I did learn a lot from it. The only thing I really wished didn't happen was him taking my virginity without my consent. It wasn't rape, but it was shady and confusing. I knew before I even started dating that I wanted to wait until marriage. One of the reasons was because I only wanted to be with one man my entire life, but another reason was the fact that I knew I would regret it, when the relationship ended. That was the biggest scar of all from that relationship.

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I get depressed when I think of how old I am, and how little experience I have. I feel like a little boy compared to some of my peers. I also have nothing to comment when people ask 'where did you lose your virginity' or 'when did you have your first kiss', because neither of them have happened for me yet.

 

Hell yeah, I get jealous. I wish I had some of these guy's lives, where they lost their virginity at 15 or 16 and are married with kids at my age.

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I'm a 33 y/o virgin -- when I have a relationship with someone, my mind goes to a gear like it's a sort of teenager relationship. My last gf I had, I did stuff with her that I think reflects a youthful teenage relationship (i.e. experimenting and touching -- first time I saw a partially naked woman in my life, etc...). So in a sense, I feel somewhat less than my age, and if I get into a relationship with someone, it's like I feel I would be trying to fill that gap of a lost youth, or would be behaving incrongruent to my actual chronological age.

 

In terms of actually feeling jealous over someone who has experience or is more normal, I don't actually feel that way at this time. What I do feel is that there is lots of new and unchartered territory out there and feel good about that rather than knowing already what's out there and losing that sort of innosence. So, I'll actually go against the majority opinion and say that it doesn't bother me that I have less experience than my average peers, and feel good that I still feel I can identify with the yonger generation.

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I get depressed when I think of how old I am, and how little experience I have. I feel like a little boy compared to some of my peers. I also have nothing to comment when people ask 'where did you lose your virginity' or 'when did you have your first kiss', because neither of them have happened for me yet.

 

Hell yeah, I get jealous. I wish I had some of these guy's lives, where they lost their virginity at 15 or 16 and are married with kids at my age.

 

 

I agree. I've been around some people who have talked about sex and I just simply have to get up and walk away. I really don't feel like being laughed at.

 

And I also feel somewhat younger than I am because of it.

 

It doesn't seem like i'm nearing 30 at all to me.

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I have felt jealous of other people's love life, where it is popular to be in love at any age. Those places are church, school, television, film, magazines, internet, most all advertising, the shopping mall, the beach, popular outdoor parks, theme parks (SeaWorld, DisneyWorld, Six Flags etc.), and the state or county fair.

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im one of the lucky ones.. i fell 'in love' with a girl in grade 6 and lost touch after high school .. we actually got in contact again during university and dated for a but but it didn't work out. its weird because she still gave me butterflies after so long.

 

we're still friends now though .. so it wasn't a bad ending.

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I agree. I've been around some people who have talked about sex and I just simply have to get up and walk away. I really don't feel like being laughed at.

 

And I also feel somewhat younger than I am because of it.

 

It doesn't seem like i'm nearing 30 at all to me.

 

Same here. I still feel like I am the same outcast 17-year old who lamented over not having a girlfriend even then. I wonder how I would have felt then if I could see the future and know I would have at least another nine, ten and probably more years of further being alone to come!

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Same here. I still feel like I am the same outcast 17-year old who lamented over not having a girlfriend even then. I wonder how I would have felt then if I could see the future and know I would have at least another nine, ten and probably more years of further being alone to come!

 

I can relate. I feel like my body is getting older and I'm staying the same age.

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i'm 20 and have only ever had one fleeting love, and it wasn't even a relationship. It was just innocent making out but we didn't talked much. I agree that I feel extremely left out when girls my age talk about relationships and boyfriends. And somehow I feel that I'm missing out on life because this is the age when I should be making the most out of life, going out with guys etc since it's at a time when I'm most attractive and when I want to experiment with things. But then, I think that all this stressing out is making me miss out on life.. not guys, not anything, but merely these negative thoughts means I'm missing out on life. I should enjoy being single and go out with friends, have fun without worrying too much. Afterall, we should focus on what we have instead of what we don't have.

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When people talk about sex, it makes me feel ill against them. I guess it's a sort of arrogance of my 'conservative' attitude that keeps me from feeling embarrassed that I haven't lost my virginity. I am still young, but knowing that a lot of kids my age have lost it already doesn't affect me. Since it seems, dirty thinking, to me.

 

Although, if people talked about sex in a more preserving manner, I'm cool with that, like love making. Since usually people around my age, talk about it like there's no depth behind it - like it's just a pleasure thing. Get in and get out.

 

The only times I'm really mad is when I was too shy to push for opportunities with girls. But, when I think back, it was a learning experience. With that, I'll continue forward and find someone like minded.

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I get jealous but not as much because there has been some experences that I get to talk about that most people can only dream and wish apon there lives.

 

Agreed. I'm definitely living a fulfilling life. It's just empty when it comes to relationships.

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Let me offer you guys (and girls) some food for thought. I didn't lose mine until I was 24 and I didn't exactly get lucky at a party or anything. I basically put it up for grabs on Craigslist, and I don't regret it in the slightest.

 

I personally get bothered and gloomy whenever I'm present at a conversation and people talk about relationships they've had in high school or their first couple years of college and I didn't have squat. Even though I did eventually lose it, I lost it at a later than normal age (whatever "normal" is). And those are years I'll never get back. I'll never know high school love or meeting a girl in college. No matter what my life will be like from now on, even if I become like Wilt Chamberlain, I'll always know I missed something special and important in my adolescence and early adulthood that I'll never know.

 

And the thing about having your heart broken? That happens. That was something my younger self would have welcomed. It at least means you're living. It means you're experiencing life, and those experiences will make yours a richer, wealthier soul.

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To the OP, yes, I do feel very envious. I remember the radio was having a discussion about first loves and first kisses, and many of the listeners were calling in and recalling how it was when they first kissed their first love in their teens. I became so sad, and envious that I had to change the station. I couldn't take it. I'm the same way when this discussion comes up amongst my peers. Luckily, it hasn't been discussed lately.

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Probably the saddest moment I can recall was when I was taking a Japanese class, where most of my classmates were computer geeks and anime dorks, with maybe two girls among us. On Valentine's Day, our teacher asked each of us what our plans were with our significant others, and I was the only one who didn't have a girlfriend. The teacher--and the rest of the class--laughed and the teacher made a catty comment in Japanese about me.

 

Sorry to threadjack, but that's the closest experience I can relate.

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