abuse?

[sfullerton]

I love my fiance more than anything in the world. But we cant seem to be able to communicate well. Neither one of us has a problem talking...neither one of us can listen. We are both stubborn.

That being said- I always try and communicate that I believe I am wrong, which I feel is honestly the case. He ends up telling me that its my round about way of blaming him, which it is not.

Lately I feel like maybe he is emotionally abusive towards me. He picks on me about things that he knows bother me (weight, psych problems, etc) and he never pays attention to me when I talk if its a conflict. He tells me that he is glad when I am at work. I am confused. Is this a communication issue? or am I dating the biggest * * * * * * * known to mankind!!?

[sfullerton]

I also know that I have been posting a lot about the problems in my relationship on here, and i am sure that it is annoying to a lot of you. I am sorry, I just honestly do not have anyone I can go to who isnt biased either way. We have no mutual friends, its his side or mine. So please be patient with me

[metrogirl]

I also know that I have been posting a lot about the problems in my relationship on here, and i am sure that it is annoying to a lot of you. I am sorry, I just honestly do not have anyone I can go to who isnt biased either way. We have no mutual friends, its his side or mine. So please be patient with me

 

That is what this place is for. Don't feel sorry for trying to get feedback.

[civilservant]

To be honest, it's sounds like you're dating a bit of a jerk. I wouldn't be putting up with mental abuse.

[odile]

From what you are saying here (and I haven't gone through your older posts, so this is just based on what you've written above) -- it does sound like your bf is acting like a jerk.

There do seem to be communication issues, but it's hard to pinpoint exactly what's going on.

 

Have you tried sitting him down, and talking to him (calmly) about your concerns?

No matter what the other issues between you are, neither of you should be cutting each other down, or saying things that are deliberately hurtful low-blows.

Hopefully you don't do this to him, and it's disconcerting that he has been doing this to you.

 

That sort of behaviour is a way to invalidate and belittle you, and it's pretty horrible.

Please do not tolerate it.

Let him know that these things bother you, and that you will not stay with him if he continues to speak to you that way.

And if he continues to do it, you will probably be happier without him.

[Circe]

It's hard to tell because we only get a small amount of the whole picture. But what you can tell, with just that small amount, is that you guys do not work well together at the moment.

 

If you can figure out a way to communicate better and certainly for him to be more respectful that would be a really good start.

 

Do you guys have a date for your wedding? I don't think you should marry him while you suspect him of emotional abuse.