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Am i finaly posting in this section for good?


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After over 12months of being with my ex is it time i finally wised up and let her go.

1st 6months or so were great really thought i`d found who i was lookin for, she talked so much about the future marraige baby etc. We never rowed not once then out of the blue she dumped me, due to her self esteem issues etc. A month later we are back together things go great as before leading up to xmas, then one slight dissagrement she`s gone again. A week later and she finds she is pregnant and we are back together again, she losses baby week later and pushes me away, then dumps me by letter saying she never wants anybody else and just wants to be alone with her kids.

I go strict n/c 2 months later and she is back, wanting it all and saying how she pushed me away due to looseing the baby and couldnt handle it. We last a few days all good again and she just wants to be fwb as of what we had been through.

Fast forward last couple of months , we txt phone every day meet a couple of times a week, not as dates just every day stuff. While every so often she keeps saying that she doesnt want to hold me back as we only friends and doesnt want m to miss out on somebody who could actually handle a relationship.

But dureing this time i also receive very mixed msg`s, as in cried couple of weeks ago when come on as she says she wasnt sure wheather she wanted to or not, she said last week that maybe if i asked her to marry her she would say yes as she might be shocked so much and realise what she might loose.

We chatted on phone last night originally for me to ask if she could handle this friends thing, and what she really wanted due to mixed signals. She says she cant handle a relationship , but if ever did it would be with me. I asked did she love me, fancy me trust me , all to which the answear was yes, but still cant handle it. I offerd to take things slowly and be there every step of the way with her worries, but she wont have it and just wants to let me go, and says i deserve some one better.

She is depressed but wont do anything about it.

This is the 1st time i have ever had to take a day off work through a girl, my head is everywhere i just cant work it out, can anybody give me any input please, any at all.

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Snoman, why would she say for past couple of minths that she just wants to be friends, but throw in all those confuseing lines, then have a go more or less at me for coming out with my feelings last night. More examples in last two weeks nipped to see her whilst in work wear , she txtd within half an hour to say i looked hot, also nipped there other week before going out she txtd later to say i looked good and she wished she was good enough for her which i replied she was more than good enough.

I told her last night with all those feelings she has for me she must be crazy to push me away, and risk looseing me.

I know she is deppresed etc and have told her i would walk through every step of way with her, so frustrating.

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i know it's a cliche, but she can't love you if she doesn't love herself. unless she is prepared to work on her depression and self worth, you have to save yourself and walk away. It is pointless to try and love someone into changing........all of the relationships she has had have been her teacher, yet she is still not prepared to show some courage and do something about her problems. I'm sorry to say it but people need to show some courage and help themselves and your ex needs to face her demons one day.

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Atelis, she even says that but has kind of given up on life and relationships saying she has no fight left any more, all i could say to that was, i cant see why you have to fight, we get on we dont row, you dont need to worry when im not around you as you know im not going to cheat, she agrees to all of that then just blanks it all.

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Ive just sent this txt before going n/c, how does it sound and should i feel i have done all and said all i can before going in to the hell of n/c as cmfortable as possible.

"hope u ok, was sound just being friends and let all you said wash over me because i thought if you wanted to say anything would just come out with it, but in the end had to say something after you asking to get a house together, cryingabout coming on, saying maybe i should ask to marry you, saying i looked hot in work, saying you wished you were good enough for me, quite a bit when you look at it, so obviously in the end i had to say something, the spending time with eachother wasnt a problem to me or the sex, just the above made me think, know we would work and i`d have worked through anything with you, but know you cant deal with it shame, becausecould be real thing if you would just put your trust in me"

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Well now you've sent it there isn't much point in us critiquing it, all I'll say is now make good on you No Contact. She sounds like she has various issues she needs to work on, and she's really not in a place to be able to commit.

 

So no matter how painful, it's time to leave her alone.

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Yeah its horrible feeling this way again, ive done all i can, she has major issues, depression, self esteem, commitment and alchol, ive offerd time and again to work through them all with her, but she would rather say im happy on my own, which 90% of the time means her sitting on a stool in the kitchen reading a magazine, rather than laugh kiss and cuddle and talk when im there, itsfeels such a shame.

Ive said to her in past why wont you let yourself be happy, you almost get there and then push it away.

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