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Fiancee pushing me away because of anxiety and depression


cathon
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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Our relationship has been phenominal we've never even had a fight and we do whatever we ask of each other and its a perfect give and take relationship but recently something happened that's really depressing my future wife. We live away from each other and she was a bit stressed from work but i was going to her place for the week to spend time together which made her light up. When i got up there she was amazing, just sparkling with joy, we had the best time of our lives that week we've never been able to spend that much time together before we made a few paintings, went out to eat, met some of her family, went to a pool party, saw some movies, and went shopping. We spent the time we had together well and we would go to bed everynight and she would cuddle on her side against me while we slept, it was the most relaxed feeling i've experienced in my life. One night when we were ready to fall asleep and she pulled my head in close to hers and held it to her shoulder and said i want to make love with you. So i looked at her and i said i do too. We weren't planning on having sex though thats not what making love means to us were staying virgins till were married, however i wasn't sure how far it would go it could just be a lot of passionate kissing and humping, but after doing that she said she was ready for more so I went between her legs and lifted her nightgown up around her breasts and i ate her out. The connection we got from giving each other our first real orgasms was just heavenly we just held each other in our arms when we came and it was like their was a bridge between our minds i'll never forget that week we spent together. Since then though she has been really anxiety ridden and depressed. I think it's because she is coming to terms that she isn't a little girl anymore and she's leaving that part of her life behind. Also purity is a very big deal for us I've accepted that i'm going to give my virginity to her and she has too, only difference is that she is grieving deeply over this and I'm not. I can understand why though shes got to be among the purest people on the earth, she honestly is like the daughter of a preacher or a reverend. Everywhere she goes guys hit on her and shes turns them down by the dozens and I was the same way i turned down probably 30 girls before i met Jesi she had it all her character and morals were flawless as anything in the world besides the very skin on her body. She was built like the goddess of love herself. And why did two people who turn everyone down decide to get together, because we knew we were worthy of each other and that week we decided we were worthy of each others bodies. When she presented herself to me for the first time it was the weirdest sensation i ever felt any other guy would have been hard in a second and just stare at her body. I just stood there while she walked over to me and even though it was our first time seeing each other fully naked we handled it like people whos love was matured well beyond our years their was no embarassment or unsurity in our eyes and we weren't craving each others flesh we just enjoyed being there together in our simplest form as two people purely in love. Sorry i ranted a bit there but when i think about her i just need to get it out of my system or it brings me down too if anyone has any advice with dealing with these issues were having i would greatly appreciate your help thx.

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yeah, i'll try to do that more. We touched on that a little bit, we decided she was definitely sure that she was ready for it to happen i think mainly its that i had to leave and go home and she just felt abandoned because she wanted me around so bad even though i couldnt be there and she knew that. It's easier said then done though she hasn't even picked up her phone in a few weeks last i heard is she needs some time alone to sort out and deal with her stress she's not confused about loving me or not which is a good thing though she said she'll love me forever no matter what happens and i believe that because i feel the same way. I know we'll make it through but i just want to try and help

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My wife has cycling depressing time to time. Something triggers it...a negative experience.. My advice is be patient and give boundless love. Perhaps take her to a psychiatrist for help. She may need it so she doesnt suffer needlessly.

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yeah the whole boundless love thing seems the best thing to give her I leave her messages on her phone everyday saying how much i love her and that I'm not going anywhere

Youre on the right track. If she has depression it is up to us to be supportive..

Try and talk to her if you can about it..you may find the main problem and understand it better.

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The connection you both felt sounds amazing, its beautiful. She shouldn't feel depressed over it, she should feel happy but my guess is she is probably feeling guilty and overhelmed by it all......

 

Give her time, she will come round, but don't pressure her to do it again.

 

Have a good talk with her about how she feels

 

Making love is a wonderful thing and makes a relationship complete, I think you are both missing out. Why shouldnt you sleep together if you love each other so much? I don't understand why people hold out, but thats just my view.

 

I would like to add also that I don't think it makes you more pure by being a virgin at all. It is the person inside that matters not how many people have been inside her... sorry not meaning to be offensive there.

 

It sounds like you have a beautiful relationship so I am sure you will work this out, but just get rid of the guilt, there is no need to have any.

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i can understand your view point im not offended by any means though if people are commited to each other theres no reason you can't have sex there's nothing wrong it in fact it makes good relationships better. I don't approve of teens or even so called adults sleeping around or having fake relationships just for sex but that's there business after the years pass theyll have no love in their lives and it will all be because they couldn't control their lust. As for waiting until marriage for us personally giving your virginity to each other is the gift you give your partner when you marry them and being married just shows their commited to you.

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I'd also like to point out though that your from europe and europe is not typical sexually compared to the rest of the world. Europe is much more sexually advanced society than the rest of the world and have a much more positive outlook on sex in society than other countries do. If countries around the world had the same outlook as europe does on how to have healthy sex and loving relationships the world would be a better place. It's pathetic how nobody is open about talking about sex and treat like it's a bad thing, it's unbelievable. Having healthy sex is good for your mental and physical health doctors will back me up on that. Having two orgasms a week alone will actually increase your lifespan some of the benefits of sex are amazing. However I'm still waiting.

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I completely agree.

I can't help leaving comments when I see posts about people not wanting to have sex for some 'purity' issue.

Really now, aren't there enough bad things in the world that one has to be despressed about making love to somene special?! This is just my view, but anyway, I feel that no one should be wasting their lives and emotions. There is no greater purity and morality than true love, in my view. If there's a miracle behind life, that miracle is love and physical union. Nothing would be possible without it. It happens in our tiniest cells all the time. Well, my opinion in any case. I wonder at what I read on this forum, I live in Europe and this view about virginity is not commonly seen here anymore.

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