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I got a lot of great feedback in my first post on here(thanks all that replied) so maybe someone can help me with something I feel is more complex.

 

Since my girlfriend and I broke up in October of last year, I have been with 9 women, 3 of whom were friends before or around the time my last relationship began(2+ years). It has been the same pattern with virtually all of them, except the one that moved away. Together for 3 or 4 intense days, with a lot of intimacy, and I don't just mean sex. So after the initial fling, I guess is what to call it, they pretty much just cut me off. I don't know why, I'm affectionate but not clingy, and I try to make sure not to smother them. Here is the part that really throws me, and makes me wonder what is wrong with me or what I'm doing wrong. Anywhere from 1 week to a month after this cut off, I will get a call or a text like this one, verbatim from my phone, "Hey I really need your help with something, can you come over?" "You should come over my roommate's gone for the weekend". This has happened with 7 of them in as many months , damn near, and I'm still "seeing" 4 of them when they randomly "need help" or some * * * * , she didn't even say what with, why be so blatant.

 

It really eats me because I was really into each of them as a person when I met them and I can't figure out why they are so eager to jump in bed, but don't want to go to dinner anything like that with me. I'm a guy that actually wants to take you out and get to know you. I know I'm not without my flaws but I think I have a lot to offer emotionally and spiritually, and it makes me wonder what makes them think I'm so screwed up. It has to be something with me that pushes them away since it's a repeating pattern, and they are unique and cool in their own ways, right?

 

I was really confused by the ones I didn't know so well, but I was really hurt when 2 of my friends pulled this stunt. I just don't get why no one wants to date me, I'm not even asking for a full blown relationship off the bat. Recently it has really started to get under my skin and make me question myself.

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I'd ask your two friends what went wrong. Try and get an honest answers out of them and tell them that a bunch of women have been doing this to you and you have no idea why.

 

My two cents is that you shouldn't jump into bed with them...even if they want to. Stick to formal dates for the first few meetings.

 

Sounds like these flames are more like intense bursts that don't last. Slow down the interaction so that it can turn into a slow but steady burn.

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When I try to set up a real date or let it be known I'm interested in dating or at least more than casual sex, I generally get 1 of 3 responses: I don't want a relationship now, I'm busy(bull * * * * ), and a couple have just stopped talking to me altogether.

 

Nothing is stopping me from saying no to any of them, I want to have sex too, maybe even need to. But I also have the need for companionship, and believe me I get this point accross whether I come out and say it or not. Really the most confusing thing to me is that I feel kind of like a boyfriend on demand. It doesn't feel like a casual relationship when we are together, but we know its not going passed the weekend.

 

I'm not really interested in a committed relationship with any of the people I'm seeing anymore considering how they act. I really just want to know why they keep calling back and starting this casual sex when they know I want more. I also want to know what about me is attracting these women whose actions suggest they only want sex, even though there is a lot of intimacy beyond sex when we are together. Is this clear at all? I'm meeting up with one of my friends that did this tonight to talk so hopefully that will help some.

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No dont try to date them too long, then you will be considered a wussy, and only be their friend. Most women today seem to only want sex, they do not know what a real relationship is. thats the world today. I cant get a relationship, its like you, they say they like me, Im perfect, good, they are not good enough for me, but have sex with me, but not for a relationship. It sucks. It doesnt matter if you have sex or not, women will flake out for no reason. The same way they cannot even decide what to wear.

 

You can always say no to sex, or you can just enjoy it.

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How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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