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Boyfriend likes body type I'm not


coastalgirl

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Just a question that is bugging me. I have been dating this guy now for three years. I am not young in age 50, but young in attitude. I can't believe I have to deal with this at my age but here goes.

 

I am small breasted. My boyfriend is a jock type personality. He makes fun of my size in a teasing way and if a lady walks by with a large chest he can't pass up the chance to look. I'd say he has a breast fetish.

 

He comments on women's breasts. Example I had a dinner party and a kind of annoying friend was there and she has large breasts. Anyway later I was talking about her and he said "ya she is annoying but has a nice rack"

 

Honestly he has said stuff like this maybe 4 times in three years so it's not alot but because I'm sensitive it bugs me. He is not exactly well endowed in the male anatomy department and is actually the smallest guy I've ever been with. Even so I would never say that to him as I know it would hurt his feelings, so why doe he tease me?

 

Should I dump this guy? If large breasts are that important to him why is he going out with me? Why doesn't he find someone with large breasts. Or is this my problem? I even said to him once maybe I should get implants to see what he would say. He said he would not want me to as that would mean I have low self esteem, also he does not want to be with someone with plastic boobs.

 

Any guys care to comment?

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I'm not a guy, but I would love to comment. Cuz omg, JERK!! You need to sit his ass down and give him a goooood talkin to. Let him know how much it hurts you and bothers you. Before you even mentioned it, I was thinking "that would be like telling him he's small" and it's true! You can let him know that it's as hurtful to you as it would be if a woman told him he was too small down there. That should be in terms that he can fully understand.

 

If he has been with you for this long, clearly he loves you and your body enough to want to be with you. But he just needs to know that it hurts you and he's not a mind reader--you need to tell him.

 

And by the way, I can totally relate. I'm flat and guys are freakin obsessed with boobs and it sucks.

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I prefer smaller breasted women, but that doesn't stop me admiring women who don't have small breasts. I think with the admiring of breasts, he is just being male.

 

I am sure that if he wanted to be with someone with larger breasts he would have gone for someone with larger breasts. But maybe, while he admires breasts of all sizes, he actually likes you for you, and thus why he is with you.

 

I do see that much of the issue here is your own issue with your size, and that is something that you have to sort for yourself. As I said, I like small breasts, and I am not the only guy out there that does.

 

But I also think it is a little inappropriate for him to be commenting on other women's breasts, but from what you say, he doesn't do it often. Tell him you have a problem with it and how it makes you feel, and ask him to stop.

 

And... Say no to breast implants. Yuck.

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It basically depends on what you're willing to tolerate. However, if his tone is malicious...probably time to say goodbye. I get the jokes about my boob size too, but I just tell em that they don't get in the way of my golf swing, so I'm happy.

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I'm a 23 year old guy and I can tell you that boob size really does not matter to me. In fact, most of the time I prefer smaller boobs because they are perkier. Women in my opinion worry about this way more than they should.

 

For instance, Evangeline Lily (Kate Austen - Lost) is absolutely beautiful to me. Big breasts would not look good on her, it would be awkward. She is perfect the way she is.

 

Every guy I know, which is a lot, do not care about boob size. I'm not saying we aren't shallow, because we are But in all honestly boob size does not play a huge roll in who I or anyone I know finds attractive. What is important is that the boob size fits the body type. I love boobs btw, so it isn't like that is the reason I don't care.

 

Now, we might joke about boobs. Like, "Damn, that girl has a great rack" or "give that girl some double Ds". It is really all just talk though, just like (at least I imagine) how girls joke about big penises.

 

Your guy sounds like an * * * * * * * and I'm sure there are a few guys out there who only like big boobs. Personally I find I can be turned off if they are too big. I don't think he should be bringing it up, but I would talk to him about it first, he may just be kidding around and not know it hurts you.

 

And Southern, if that pic you used to have for your avatar was real, you are beautiful. Seriously. You do not have to worry about your boob size. You have a very sexy body type IMO.

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I have a rack: 40 DD. You are so lucky you don't have to put up with the stupid comments that I do. Women hate me that don't know me, and guys can treat me like I'm stupid! I happen to be getting my Master's and am very educated, well-spoken, and funny. But no guy wants to see that, they just see my boobs. Honey, don't worry about your guy making comments. The big breasted girls don't want him anyway. My bf saw my brains before my breasts, that's why I've been with him so many years.

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I would feel hurt too if my boyfriend kept telling me he liked women with smaller breast (I'm a bigger breasted woman). But, joking and being serious are too different things. I don't know if I would leave him? It would depend. Now, if his like for bigger breast resulted in him going out and flirting with other women, then yes I would have to say buh-bye.

 

It depends on the kind of person you are and what you can handle being in a relationship. If you can't handle him making jokes (all men do) about other women and expressing his likes and dislikes, then maybe you should let him go.

 

You are going to find that all men and women joke about what they like, and if they couldn't because his/her SO was too insecure about that, then it's ridiculous.

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Chew some a$$ about the boob comments. Don't restrain yourself at all. If your sensitive, make sure he knows. Alot of guys joke just to seem masculine but most don't want to hurt any feelings by it. But, if he keeps that crap up, then get rid of him.

 

I just think you should keep the comments above the belt if you know what I mean...

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I was really flat before I had kids, now I have something. Used to be an A but am now a B. I think part of it is my insecurity for sure. When I was young and flat, I didn't care at all, my attitude was if you don't like them then screw off, lots of guys around and I had no problem getting them. What happened to that old me

 

Now, I'm older, not so hot, like the good old days and maybe it's because I'm feeling my age and not as attractive. Really when I was younger I turned heads constantly and now I just don't.

 

Really though for some reason we are living in a boob crazed world. I really feel sorry for the young girls of today because girls just push them up and let them hang out all over. Poor girls that don't have any. I have a daughter and she is small so I would never get implants because of her.

 

When I was young boobs were not that important at all. What happened?

 

Implants, it's all there fault I guess.

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straight up, guys are very egotistic when it comes to our anatomy. when it comes to females. we tend to just admire... the female body is gorgeous... in all aspects. the never ending quest for the perfect body will always be a on a guys mind. doesnt mean he doesnt love u or care about u.

 

i for one loved my ex so so so much. but use to tease her, in similar ways. i just never thought about it from your point of view. havnt read your post is the first time i have made the male anatomy analgy to womens breasts and there self esteam/ self worth. so thankyou.

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straight up, guys are very egotistic when it comes to our anatomy. when it comes to females. we tend to just admire... the female body is gorgeous... in all aspects. the never ending quest for the perfect body will always be a on a guys mind. doesnt mean he doesnt love u or care about u.

 

i for one loved my ex so so so much. but use to tease her, in similar ways. i just never thought about it from your point of view. havnt read your post is the first time i have made the male anatomy analgy to womens breasts and there self esteam/ self worth. so thankyou.

 

I've always thought of our boobs as the equivalent of guys penises. The thing that sucks though is that our insecurities are right out there for everyone to see. Girls are only gonna know a guy's size if they fool around with them. So y'all have it much better than we do cuz no one has to know. Does that make sense?

 

But yeah, I always explain it to guys like that when they make jokes or tease me so that they understand how hurtful it can be and it can make me want to wear high collar baggy shirts only in front of them. It's so very hurtful.

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I've always thought of our boobs as the equivalent of guys penises. The thing that sucks though is that our insecurities are right out there for everyone to see. Girls are only gonna know a guy's size if they fool around with them. So y'all have it much better than we do cuz no one has to know. Does that make sense?

 

But yeah, I always explain it to guys like that when they make jokes or tease me so that they understand how hurtful it can be and it can make me want to wear high collar baggy shirts only in front of them. It's so very hurtful.

 

Not necessarily true. My bra does an amazing job of making me look like almost a C instead of the small B I am

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I actually think women have it better because it is out there for everyone to see. You know if a guy asks you out, he doesn't care. But for guys we don't know if you care until we're already intimate.

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Xplode, thank you for your comment. I think us women compare breasts to penises, not sure why we just do. I used to joke with other females that guys should wear their underwear outside of their pants so we can see the package. Then we would be even.

 

I just wonder why guys tease us about our size, especially when the oggle large breasts when out in public and then tease us about how small ours are. Don't they get that this is an insult?

 

And I feel for the large breasted ladies, you have your own stuff to deal with as guys do tend to just see your breasts and not your brain. We all have to deal with something

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If his comments are hurtful then you might want to sit him down and tell him straight foreword how his comments make you feel. If he is just admiring other women than maybe he just needs to learn some manners. Give hima chance before you drop him, its been three years.

But as a man I will say I prefer small breast because I like athletic/thin women but my neck will snap if a woman with a nice backside walks by.

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look at this way, any woman can use her body in some way to get a guys attention, but that attention is always short-lived. Looks can only get your so far in life and (even good looking guys and girls get dumped everyday) then the rest all plays out due to your personality, who you are as a person. So if your boyfriend doesn't appreciate you in all that you have got (good looks and a good personality), then he doesn't deserve you.

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Its unfair how women with small breasts can be teased, yet guys who are small where that counts, can hide it, in public anyway. If they were teased about it it would scar them for life. Women can't hide their size. A guy would not tolerate being put down for being small.

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I am struck by his types of comments - he sounds boorish and rude and all similar adjectives. Would he like it if you said "he was annoying but had a nice package?" Sounds like the issue isn't breast size but his treatment of women as objects.

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I think the way he talks to you, and makes comments about other women to you, is disrespectful. I would not like it at all. I agree with sitting him down and talking to him. Let him know how much it hurts you when he makes these a$$holeish comments. If he has any respct for you he will stop, once he realises how it hurts you, if he doesn't know already. If he doesn't then stop, the man needs to be kicked to the curb IMO.

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As a guy i'm gonna tell you in the nicest way possible that you would be stupid to dump this guy JUST because he likes big boobs. Really, don't be so self-pitying that you would dump a guy for having a "fetish" you don't fit into. To be honest, you are totally overanalyzing his feelings on breasts.

 

I'm gonnna say a few things to you:

1 GUY HAS AN IDEAL BODY TYPE!!! BUT THIS DOESN'T MEAN THEY JUDGE GIRLS WHO DON'T FIT INTO IT! You think that men who are dating big women have a fetish for oprah or rosy odonnell? NO, they probably look at pictures of keira knightly or kim kardashian in their free time at work. but they are with who they are with because they love them and are attracted to them personally.

 

2 personal preference for girls was always 5 foot 4 inches or shorter, filled out nicely (or enough that they can't be mistaken easily for 12 years olds). Whenever i see a short girl i go crazy. BUT my last and LONGEST relationship was with a girl who was 5 foot 9 inches, extremely thin, A cup breasts. This was a big change from the girl before her who was 5 foot 3 with D cup breasts. And guess what again: I WAS INFATUATED WITH THE TALL, SMALL BREASTED ONE! I thought she was the sexiest thing on 2 feet. I wanted her all the time, and wanted to be with her forever. We were together over a year and a half before we had to break up. Of course I still thought about the short girls i saw around, but i'm sure you think about edward cullen every now and then.

3: I wouldn't take your boyfriends aforementioned breast comments so seriously. It's really just an observation more than a comparison. I think that they're kind of skeezy comments to make though, and I would tell him you don't appreciate how he talks about other women's breasts or how he sneaks peeks at them.

 

I really would not take this as seriously as you are right now. If you're gonna dump him for anything, dump him for something skeezy he does, not for your self-consciousness. He is not gonna dump you or cheat on you just cause he likes big breasts.

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It's one thing having an "ideal body type" It's another making it VERY clear to his girlfriend, and pointing it out to her when he sees other women! The first is just...life...whatever. The second is RUDE and unthoughtful at best. Like already said - how would he feel if she made comments about other men's penises and compared them to his?! Maybe it's just me, but in a relationship, I don't perticurarly want to hear that they love something in women that isn't a match to me. Seriously, where's the need in that? If I like a man with long hair say, and I have a boyfriend that has short hair - I'm not going to point out to him men with long hair, say "yeah, he's annoying, but gosh I just LOVE men with long hair!" Come on now.

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