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Loss of Faith?


Just Going Through The Motions?
Just Going Through The Motions?

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Does anybody ever feel like they are losing faith? Not just in how things are going to turn out, but in themselves, their own characteristics, what they stand for....everything?

 

Most of the time, everything just seems to be a routine. I have accomplished a fair bit in my time and have never been one to just give up but I just feel like I am losing faith in people, wondering if anybody is actually who they say they are and wondering why they can be so fickle. Also, I have seen a lot of near misses and disappointments when I have thrown everything, including the kitchen sink in a bid to make things better but little seems to be working.

 

Perhaps jaded is the word? I don't know. I get told a lot of times of all these qualities I have and so forth but it doesn't seem to correlate with the dynamics of my life, especially in interpersonal relationships. I do the best I can and try to be the best friend I can be - prompt, attentive, caring, trustworthy and it seems most people just come to me when they have issues then bugger off the rest of the time.

 

I spend a lot of time alone which I enjoy to an extent but feel like I can't really go to my immediate family for emotional support which just leaves a couple of friends - being away from home for five years has seen most of those friendships dwindle too. The friends I do rely on are a long way from here.

 

I am sick of being let down, my immigration situation is frustrating too and whereas I acknowledge I have come very far in my personal development, I can't help but think if I should be doing things differently.

 

I apologise....it is just a mini-rant I guess but does anybody have any input?

 

Cheers,

Ellandroader

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You're a little young to be a cynic. Give it another decade then join the ranks with the rest of us old farts.

 

I've been in the immigration boat, and it stinks. While being in another country can be a great experience, putting up with the bureaucratic BS does get old after a while. Especially when you see individuals who you KNOW took the illegal route to get into the country get better treatment and benefits.

 

Hang in there. It's a long haul.. PM me if you want to rant about our immigration system. Lord knows I ranted about the Canadian system when I was jumping through hoops for my landed status there.

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You're a little young to be a cynic. Give it another decade then join the ranks with the rest of us old farts.

 

I've been in the immigration boat, and it stinks. While being in another country can be a great experience, putting up with the bureaucratic BS does get old after a while. Especially when you see individuals who you KNOW took the illegal route to get into the country get better treatment and benefits.

 

Hang in there. It's a long haul.. PM me if you want to rant about our immigration system. Lord knows I ranted about the Canadian system when I was jumping through hoops for my landed status there.

 

Thanks retired....you may well hear from me. In a nutshell, my family has their entire life invested here (money and otherwise) yet we have to pay thousands every other year to renew Visas and can't even do a lot of things like go back home or go to college for example.

 

Yet some fence hopper gets in, gets amnesty and all kinds of things. It's * * * * -eyed if you ask me.

 

I am not cynical, just feeling flat I guess and wondering what else I can do. But I appreciate the support

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Not that you should rush into anything with the wrong woman, but if you marry a citizen your immigration issues are a thing of the past.

 

Very true, haha but I only intend on marrying once and it will be to "Mrs Right" If she is American, then that's an added bonus I guess given the circumstances!

 

But yes, very valid point.

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You haven't lost your faith. At times, we all get discouraged and wonder "how and why do I feel like this"...Then it brings up a string of questions...."Am I compassionate enough?"..."Am I a nice person?"...."do I have passion in life?"...."why isn't my life like his or hers".....It all has to do with being content in your own life and being happy with what you have and not wishing for more.

 

Ever heard of the saying "make due with what you have and NEVER wish for anything better"....Well, the same concept applies to life in general. You should never say "I can't wait until I do "........". You shouldn't look forward to too much because it only takes away the time you could be spending in your present. You can make yourself happy. It just takes time. You have to find a passion in life....Something that puts your mind at peace. A lot of people find art and music a passion. I am currently searching for my passion too, so I know how you feel. It feels like your life is slipping away. It doesn't have to be like that though. You can enjoy the small things in life. You just have to let go of all your other cares...They are not worth worrying about.

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Hello there!

 

I know just where you are coming from. Here you are trying to do the right thing in life, and you see all these other people seemingly more successful than you. Better benefits, better relationships, and maybe you think just a better life in general. The thing is, you can only see their life through the lens of your eye. What is their reality maybe very different than what you see.

 

I think maybe a change of perspective might be in order. Here you see people who are being fickle and unreliable, maybe that is just the key that you need to see that there are other people out there and to give new people a fresh chance?

 

I know exactly what you mean when you say people only come to you when they have a problem or need an ear. I am that person too. Some people when I answer the phone I just say, hey whatcha need? Generally what they need is 30 minutes of my time and for me to give them 2 or 3 minutes worth of advice that they could have come to if they had just sat down and thought through their situation.

 

At some point though, you will find those people that are willing to listen. Those that are willing to go and get that cup of tea and who don't back out at the last moment. Keep putting yourself and your good energy out there. It will come back to you. A good friend is a rare thing indeed, and I am sure if you keep trying you will find them.

 

You say that you feel as though you should be doing things differently. Care to elaborate on that?

 

Take care of yourself, and remember I am only a pm away.

 

owb

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Yes i lost faith in the world some years back. Lost faith in people ..myself.

It was because i got in a rut trying to keep everything good for everyone else but forgot myself. Get a hobby..visit a hospital..then start to realise that its not as we think.

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I am going through the same thing, not sure of what I want, what I am doing, and I feel like my future isn't there, my life isn't going anywhere.

 

I often feel like I am from another planet because nothing here seems to work for me... only for a short time and then it all goes pear-shaped and I am left scratching my head wondering what to do. But we can't let fear of the unknown (and complacency) stop us from getting out there and trying new things.. you mustn't risk regretting it when you're too old to do something that you can do now. I try and remind myself to 'carpe diem' but it can be downright scary...

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Thank you....I really think you hit the nail bang on the head. I pretty much know in my head what I have to do but it's a case of getting it done which proves difficult to be honest. It is almost as if I am burnt out and can't get it together anymore.

 

I should be happy with what I have. On paper, I have a good lot. You are right....I feel like life is slipping away and I perhaps need some perspective on things.

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Yes i lost faith in the world some years back. Lost faith in people ..myself.

It was because i got in a rut trying to keep everything good for everyone else but forgot myself. Get a hobby..visit a hospital..then start to realise that its not as we think.

 

Thanks TB. I think I lost myself along the way somewhat, being the "go to" guy for many people in the process. I actually plan to volunteer again after the summer when I have some more free time, that was a good experience for me overall.

 

I recent the word border hopper. I swam here.

 

 

I know how you feel tho , I was feeling that way about the immigration thing but I am a citizen now.

 

I am sorry about that, it's not a dig so much at the people, it's the system. I think pursuing a better life should be the choice of anybody. It is just frustrating when you put a LOT of money into coming here and doing it by the book and then you get all these restrictions put on you. The Brits are meant to be allies of the US but you wouldn't think so given the way we get treated.

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Thank you....I really think you hit the nail bang on the head. I pretty much know in my head what I have to do but it's a case of getting it done which proves difficult to be honest. It is almost as if I am burnt out and can't get it together anymore.

 

I should be happy with what I have. On paper, I have a good lot. You are right....I feel like life is slipping away and I perhaps need some perspective on things.

 

I'm glad that I could help you. I know how you feel. I am gonig through the same thing. I also have a lot of questions..lol I should be in a philosophy class somewhere...: Whenever you're feeling unsure of things, just sit back and continplate what you wre thinking about and ask yourself 'is it really worth me getting worried about'?

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I'm glad that I could help you. I know how you feel. I am gonig through the same thing. I also have a lot of questions..lol I should be in a philosophy class somewhere...: Whenever you're feeling unsure of things, just sit back and continplate what you wre thinking about and ask yourself 'is it really worth me getting worried about'?

 

Very fair point I guess, thank you. My problem is that I am a "tryer" and a heart on sleeve kinda guy so when I do get involved with anything, I put everything into it. I think that contributes to why I get so down about things sometimes and I can't help but lament it somehow when it doesn't work out.

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  • 2 weeks later...

why are you paying for visas every year? are you guys in the process of getting green cards or no? I'm sure you have an attorney though, right?

Best of luck, because that process alone is so long and frustrating

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