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why do women cheat?


confused10

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why do women cheat? and if she cheated on her last relationship of 20 yrs. does that mean she'll cheat in a new relationship? she likes attention but does that mean she wasn't getting it and thats why she cheated. if she gets attention will she be satisfied or is she just a flirt and an attention fean?

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Men and women cheat for the same reasons alike. Cheating in one relationship doesn't mean they'll definitely cheat in another, but it would be something to be cautious of and it shows a lot about the way they may value their relationships.

 

As for your last question about attention, depends completely on the individual. There's no answer that would cover everyone accross the board in regards to that.

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I read that the main reason why women cheat, is lack of attention and appreciation at home...

 

I think it would be rare for a woman to cheat, just for sex and as a man would. And because most women need an 'emotional' connection, to be able to sleep with a guy.

 

And we need the attention first, which could proceed to becoming 'emotionally' involved....

 

Men just need to find a woman attractive, to have sex with her....no emotions involved.

 

 

Just my thoughts anyway...

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Like everyone has said, there are many reasons for cheating. Although, biologically speaking, women are most likely to cheat when they are ovulating.

 

Makes sense actually....and because this is the time a woman is at her most fertile and would be looking for a *fine* male specimen to father her kids.....LOL

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Women cheat for the exact same reasons that men cheat, there is something missing in the relationship and rather than breaking up with that person they intend to seek an external source of what they feel the relationship is missing. I dont subscribe to the theory that once a cheater always a cheater. A person can decide not to cheat again if that is important to them.

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I don't believe that women cheat just because some emotional connection is missing whereas men just cheat for sex - that seems to be a convenient excuse manufactured by some women to make their cheating less reprehensible. I believe the reasons are much the same regardless of gender - and none of them are acceptable.

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I learned about it in my Psychology of Sexual Behavior class. It's not WHY women cheat, but that is when they are most likely to cheat, due to hormones. There was a case study on a man who had five children, only to find out that only one of them was actually his. He'd since already divorced his wife and remarried, but still...ouch.

 

I'd say cheating, overall, is due to lack of respect for the relationship, for whatever reasons.

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I learned about it in my Psychology of Sexual Behavior class. It's not WHY women cheat, but that is when they are most likely to cheat, due to hormones. There was a case study on a man who had five children, only to find out that only one of them was actually his. He'd since already divorced his wife and remarried, but still...ouch.

 

I'd say cheating, overall, is due to lack of respect for the relationship, for whatever reasons.

 

Yup, that was a pretty upsetting article. I won't lie, Parental Discrepancy boils my blood, and the fact that there are over 1,000,000 men in North America raising a child which isn't theirs but have no idea also doesn't keep warm and toasty at night.

 

As for the ovaries sitch, I haven't taken a class on the subject, but I have read a few articles on it. Isn't more a preference thing than anything else? More like a preference for a 'beta type' male who takes care of the kids which changes to an 'alpha type' preference during ovulation for the strong gentics and what not?

 

There will always be inclinations between the sexes be them good or bad, it is the choice to act on these inclinations which describe a person's character.

 

I also agree with Melrich, men are pigeonholed into 'they just want sex' and this is why they cheat. Although they way men feel loved and appreciated isn't as glamorous as how women feel loved, it is just as necessary. Women need emotional attachment, men need physical attachment, period. If you ignore your wife at home, or if you ignore your husband in the bedroom, you are inviting Godzilla into your marriage, take it anyhow you want to take it.

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It's actually the other way around. Ovulating women prefer more feminine looking men, the beta types that seem more nurturing. When they are not ovulating, they go for the more alpha-male type. I kind of thought it would be the other way around, but I guess not.

 

But yeah, everyone can be a cheater. Even people who say they would never ever cheat could. However, strength of character is what decides in the end. Men and women are very different, but it takes compromise. If the man stops courting and romancing his wife/partner, the sex will be the first thing to go, and it may push to someone else. Or he will find his physical affection elsewhere. It's a vicious cycle, but easily remedied.

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It's actually the other way around. Ovulating women prefer more feminine looking men, the beta types that seem more nurturing. When they are not ovulating, they go for the more alpha-male type. I kind of thought it would be the other way around, but I guess not.

 

I'll have to take your word on it as I have read several studies which state the other way around too.

 

But yeah, everyone can be a cheater. Even people who say they would never ever cheat could. However, strength of character is what decides in the end. Men and women are very different, but it takes compromise. If the man stops courting and romancing his wife/partner, the sex will be the first thing to go, and it may push to someone else. Or he will find his physical affection elsewhere. It's a vicious cycle, but easily remedied.

 

And on the other hand, if the woman stops giving sex, the man will feel less inclined to be romantic. It isn't up to any one gender to be the 'first' for anything. In a healthy relationship, compromise is indeed key, I would go as far as to say symbiotic. The only reason why I state this is that I am tired of reading about men cheating and being written off as a slack gender however when women cheat, then it was obviously her hubby that wasn't taking care of her needs.

 

It's a two way street, and the way a woman feels when she has been emotionally neglected is precisely the way a man feels when he has been physically neglected. Or as you put in it your post, a woman who isn't wined and romanced doesn't feel like having sex....the man who is never 'rewarded in bed' doesn't feel like wining and dining, get it?

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Ovaries... Love... something missing... i dont buy all that!

 

At the end of the day if you love someone (even if you are not "in love" with them anymore) or if you professed to love someone once, that love and that person deserves your utmost respect and consideration! Therefore you should not proceed with a 3rd party until your former relationship is over! Period!! Simple as that!

 

anyone woman who has the ability to cheat regardless of how they feel about their current bf has seriously questionable morals and values. In essence, they cheat because they do not respect the relationship, they cheat because they dont respect their significant other and some cheat cos they dont respect themselves. They cheat because they have very selfish tendancies.

 

Any decent girl would have the will power, morals and respect for themselves and their current bf to hold off on an interested 3rd party until the current relationship was over. Yes break ups can be long and messy, yes you may lose the interest of the 3rd person due to the length of the break up process, but you know what? TOUGH!! your current bf is your priority... do the right thing and keep your side of the street clean! Why make the break up even more difficult for the dumpee by introducing infidelity as a factor in the break up!? thats just cold, callous and mean but essentially avoidable if you STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF FIRST!

 

as you can probably tell, i played with fire and got burned recently by a cheating girlfriend, it hurt bad. People say everyone is capable of cheating, but i know i have a hugely different set of morals to my ex and am not capable of inflicting the type of hell she put me through on someone. For this i know i am a better person. So thats why women cheat, disrespect all round, questionable morals and selfishness, nothing more, nothing less...

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Ok so what if it's the other way around?

 

I'm the woman always asking for sex... and it's my husband that always shuts me down.

 

Hense the reason why I too might be seeking an affair sometime soon... and don't get me wrong, I'm not proud.

 

What does that mean then?

 

Very good point so I feel the need to rephrase my prior post. That men tend to feel unloved and worthy about not getting sexual intimacy while women tend to feel this same way about emotional intimacy. This can go either way however, as you aren't the first woman I've come accross online who has stated this and I empathize with you.This is JMO, but physical and emotional intimacy should be the two most basic and neccesary things people share between themselves. If a relationship is missing one of these two important ingredients, to say that it's a powderkeg ready to go off is an understatement.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your sitch suprastar, not getting your needs met is a horrible thing and asure way to build resentment which can undermine your relationship. Maybe he is undergoing some ED issues and is afraid to speak to you about it, maybe there is another situation at work which has him stressed out? Maybe he is suffering from another ailment?

 

Whatever the issue is, I think a sit down is in order and you need to tell him how you are feeling. There is no need for you to be suffering while he seems satisfied with the status quo. An issue with one partner such as this affects BOTH partners and therefore the relationship. If he wants this relationship to continue, then this situation has to be fixed, why should one benefit at the expense of the other?

 

This may be harsh, but I simply think, man or woman, if one doesn't meet the physical or emotional needs (beyond certain ailments and age which cannot be overcome obviously) is a fool, period. It's foolish to assume that you can ignore your spouse and the relationship will continue without issue. If an issue comes up, communicate and try to rectify the issue together as a team so at least other ideas and possible solutions can be reached. It shows that at least they care about the feelings of their SO and not simply telling them to 'deal with it'.

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Thanks for the reply. It's so true what you say. But he's never here to discuss anything. And communication is not something that he's good at.

 

He prefers to ignore the situation, and more rudely, me at this moment.

 

I think the marriage is on it's final leg...

 

In love and war, I think women and men are both on the same playing field. Both can hurt, both can love... but they need to find the right opponent to play with.

 

And you have my sympathy. I'll be honest, my last post to you only applies to people who are reasonable in terms of their LTR's. Some may not realize what their actions are really doing. As for your husband, it seems for some reason that he thinks he owns you and is taking for granted you and your feelings. I wish I could give some relevant advice I wish I could. I hope someone else on this site can.

 

The only thing that I can say is that Cheating will make things worse and complicate matters. I know that it is hanging you out to dry so to speak, but that is all I have for the moment. I'm sure someone else on this site will have an idea which can assist you.

 

Take care

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Since this thread is gender specific, please excuse the obvious sexism in my reply.

 

Regardless of a womans reason for cheating, I have noticed one very consistant behaviour when it comes to a woman making a morally wrong choice. And that is their UNCANNY ability to rationalize their way out of feeling the guilt of the decision. It is that behaviour/ability that could very well be the tipping point over the threshold when they actually act on the decision.

 

Reality is a double edged sword in itself, ie. perception. The glass can be half full, the glass can be half empty. For every good thing you find in a relationship, you can find something bad. All the woman needs to do is select the perception of the reality that supports her decision. If the glass needs to be half empty for her to feel better about cheating, then the glass is just plain half empty! She will always find the perception that allows this. And not only will she find it, but it's merely a different perception of reality so they can use it to rationalize without question. It's not like a figment of her imagination, but rather a way to be selective about what they use to support their decisions.

 

'oh, he didn't treat me right'

'he doesn't give me the attention I need'

'our relationship is basically over anyway'

'he cheated on me!'

'I must not be in love with him if I feel this way'

 

Etc, etc, etc...

 

Whatever the womans excuse, they will go out of their way to completely ignore the fact; your not supposed to cheat. That thought will never enter their minds and if it does they will immeadiately squash it with a thought that will support their choice instead. Why? because they need an excuse to make a selfish decision and live with themselves for it. And they will, and they do.. all the time..

 

And it doesn't stop there. Women will build entire support networks that 'approve' of their demeanor and support it in any way possible completely casting aside any friend or loved one with the balls to call them out on their stupidity. Guys can live with a friend that makes them look in the mirror once in a while. Women can and will not look into the mirror for any other reason other than to check their makeup.

 

I have had plutonic GF's that would cry on my shoulder while trying to rationalize their decision to do something selfish and spiteful. Any time I would attempt to bring reality to their door, I was promptly discarded as a friend. They didn't want to hear that they were making a f'ed up decision, they wanted me to support them on it and be 'understanding' which is something I am apparently not very good at when it comes to ignorance.

 

Women want to live their lives without regreat. To do this they need to cast aside all guilt for their decisions because not all of their decisions will end well, as such is life. And when they don't end well they have their carefully crafted 'support network' to remind them that 'it's not your fault' and 'everything happens for a reason' thus enabling them to meander about their lives guilt and regreat free for every ridiculous thing they do.

 

It's nearly diabolical if you just sit back and analyze and observe. I'm sure I wasn't thorough enough, but maybe I said enough for some of the guys here to relate to what I'm trying to state. I'm convinced this phenomanon is present and an entire thesis could be written on the matter. Some people call it 'womans perogative'

 

And now that all the women here hate my guts.. I bow out..

 

- Matt

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