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I can never find a good friend...


LW4E

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Last weekend, I found myself in a bit of a sticky situation. I went camping up at my girlfriend's cottage with my girlfriend, my best friend and my best friend's boyfriend (Who wasn't her boyfriend going into this, as she had met him off the internet.)

 

The trip was fun right up until the last night, my best friend and I had gotten ourselves into a one-on-one drinking contest, and we ended up really, REALLY drunk. In our drunken states, we turned to our significant others and started making out with them and such, after a while we turned and started making out with one another, her boyfriend, and my girlfriend simply got up and left the tent together while we (In a ridiculously drunken state) made out with one another.

 

Long story short, the two of us did everything except for actually have sex with each other.

 

Once all was finished, she got really sick and started vomiting in the tent, so I got up and opened the tent and assisted her out, she collapsed on the grass, half naked and continued vomiting. I could barely keep my balance, but regardless of my state, I always do my best to help the situation, so I went into the tent, felt around for a flashlight, found one, found some pants and brought them back to her, I got the pants on her and she continued vomiting. She fell to her side and was shivering, it almost sounded as if she were in tears as she kept saying she was cold, so I went back into the tent and got her the warmest looking blanket I could find, on the way out dragging the sleeping bag she vomited on out of the tent. I wrapped her up in the blanket and moved her over to the tarp outside of the tent, just so she wouldn't by lying in the dirt any longer.

 

I waited there with her until the vomiting had stopped before I got up and went into the woods to look for the other two, I was really dreading finding them as I was sure they were both furious with me, but they were also both sober and could do more for my friend than I could, as I was very limited at the time. So after a short trip into the forest, I found them on a large rock overlooking the lake, got their attention and brought them back to the tent. Had I been sober, I wouldn't have tried this, but I went to hug my girlfriend, but she simply told me to GTF away from her, so I did. I was however able to explain to them the situation my friend was in, and how she needed their help as I had done all I possibly could for her.

 

My friend's boyfriend went into the tent and sat there for about ten minutes while my girlfriend and I stayed outside to take care of my friend. After a while, her boyfriend got up and said "I can't stand the smell of vomit in this tent" and left... even while drunk I knew there was something up... the tent is about 90% ventilated, and I couldn't even smell the vomit the moment it came out of her mouth. So her boyfriend went down to the dock to sleep. My girlfriend and I stayed there for about an hour, simply making sure our friend was warm and comfortable. After a while, I suggested to my girlfriend that we get her into the tent, just so she's not getting eaten alive by bugs. We argued a bit about the idea before we finally lifted her up together and brought her into the tent.

 

The three of us were in the tent and my girlfriend got a text, it was from my friend's boyfriend, he was saying he was cold sleeping on the dock and asked to sleep in the back seat of her car, so my girlfriend got her keys and left the tent, got him in the car and came back. We stayed up until sunrise with my friend, just until we were absolutely sure she'd be okay, and then we went to sleep.

 

As you can imagine, there was a lot of drama the next day, but my friend and I stuck together through it all, we knew we had done something wrong and hurt the ones we love, but at a time when we were being looked down upon, we needed each others support.

 

Fast forward to last Monday (The first day back from camping) I had to get a minor surgery done to the back of my head, and my girlfriend (who decided to give me a second chance) thought she was obligated to come, she did and throughout the whole day, we were simply trying to get past what happened two nights prior. Later that night, after she had gone home, "luck" would have it that we both got kicked out of our houses by our mothers. So we met up, and she called my friend (the one I got out of control with) to ask if we could stay the night, as I was just off the hells of a surgery, my head was stitched up, it was cold and raining out and we had nowhere to go. My friend said her parents were sleeping and that we couldn't go or else they'd get raged. Shortly after, we got a call from one of my other friends, he said that he had just talked to my "best friend" and she said and he quotes "They got kicked out of their houses and now they're trying to come here, but really, I've seen enough of them for one week, so I said no."

 

Obviously we were shocked by this, it was totally out of character of our friend, even after what happened, and we couldn't put our finger on why she would leave us out in the cold and rain after we helped her so much wen she needed it, and her boyfriend (who is still staying with her) did nothing, took off and slept at a time when she needed help the most. By the way, he also gave her a second chance, but I wouldn't be surprised if this "relationship" ends when he leaves and goes home.

 

After this happened, we still invited them to come along with us on Canada Day (Well, my girlfriend did, I was against it as my friend told me on msn that she just wanted to take make out pictures to make their exes jealous.) Canada Day was horrible, end of story.

 

Now onto Sunday (last night) I went to the zoo with my girlfriend and her best friend, on our way in, she gets a text from my best friend, simply saying "You're an idiot, grow up" apparently, one of my friends (Whom we told about the drama of the weekend) talked to her and she found out he knew and took it out on my girlfriend.

 

So later when I got home, I messaged that friend on msn (The one who talked to my best friend) and he said that my friend was a bit mad that we told, and started saying that my girlfriend spent the majority of the weekend flirting with her boyfriend, which from what I know isn't true. He also said that she said she's thinking of un-inviting us to her birthday party at the end of the month.

 

After hearing all this, and after seeing how my "best friend" has clearly chosen a short fling over the two people who actually care about her and were willing to stay up for hours until the crack of dawn to ensure her safety and security, I really have lost faith in people, as over the course of my life, I have yet to find one real friend. I thought I had found that friend with her, she started out as my drinking buddy, we became friends, and then declared ourselves best friends, we both got a little bit out of control that night, and suddenly she despises both my girlfriend and I, and for what? We were the ones who were there for her, her boyfriend walked away the moment she became a burden, and the next morning when she was sober and once again willing make out with (and probably do more) him he was perfectly receptive of her.

 

I'm very lucky and fortunate to still have a girlfriend after this, and I plan to do everything I can to repent for what happened that night, as I take full responsibility for my actions.

 

But once, just once in my life, I would like to meet someone who shares the same ideal as I do when it comes to friendship, and that is simply the idea of sticking it through for better or for worse.

 

It's situations like these that allow me to take [even more] pride in the fact that five months ago, I got together with my girlfriend and I didn't turn into a total A-hole to everyone else around me, and still have all the same friends I did before I started dating her.

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I think there are more issues at hand here than the fact that your friend is mad at you.

 

Like:

 

Cheating on your significant other (curiously she just left instead of intervened).

Making out with your friend in front of your girlfriend and your friend's boyfriend.

 

I don't think your friend is backing off from you because she hates you in and of itself, it probably has something to do with you both being drunk, her moreso than you, and she probably feels you took advantage of her. In general she probably feels awkward and wants to forget about that weekend where she herself cheated on her significant other with you, not to mention the awkward circumstance of making out with a friend.

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I think there are more issues at hand here than the fact that your friend is mad at you.

 

Like:

 

Cheating on your significant other (curiously she just left instead of intervened).

Making out with your friend in front of your girlfriend and your friend's boyfriend.

 

I don't think your friend is backing off from you because she hates you in and of itself, it probably has something to do with you both being drunk, her moreso than you, and she probably feels you took advantage of her. In general she probably feels awkward and wants to forget about that weekend where she herself cheated on her significant other with you, not to mention the awkward circumstance of making out with a friend.

 

The intent was not to hurt anybody, or to cheat on anybody or anything like that... the previous night, something similar happened, except all four of us were in on it and having a good time. The following night it was just my friend and I who had too much to drink and got carried away.

 

Your explanation would make sense if her pent up anger was taken out on me, and not on my girlfriend who did nothing to her. I'm sure she couldn't possibly feel as if I took advantage of her, because of the four of us who were there that weekend, she was the only one who went as far as she did with me, with the other two... in other words, both nights she got drunk, the first night she did what she did with me with both her boyfriend AND my girlfriend... the second night it was just with me.

 

I still have yet to understand fully why my girlfriend and my friend's boyfriend got so angry... under normal circumstances it would be understandable, but just the night prior, we were all involved in a... if you will, a 4-some. In a way though, it is understandable (Kind of a strange situation.)

 

Over the course of the weekend, whenever she got drunk, my friend threw herself at everybody in sight... on that one night, it just happened to be me, and I was too... out there to do anything aside from just go along with it and enjoy it.

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