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Weird Emotional Thing with wanting a baby


Devie3411
5 Weirdest Pregnancy Cravings
5 Weirdest Pregnancy Cravings

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I have been having a weird last couple of weeks. I have been so emotionally wanting a baby that I have been having mood swings with crying, whining, and just plain mean to my Husband. And every time I start crying, the thing that pops into my head is that I want a baby. I know that now is the worst possible time for us to even consider starting a family, we are far from financially stable, both students, he just started a new job, I just lost mine, and both young (I just turned 22 and he will be 24 in Aug.). We have also been married for less than a year (our 1st wedding anniversary is the 26th of this month). I know and understand all these things but the feeling are so strong right now. If anyone has any advice on how to calm the feelings down so that I feel more stable I would love to hear it. Thanks

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He wants to have children but after I graduate from college and have been teaching a couple of years. I haven't told him about these emotion things he thinks I am still not feeling well from a sinus infection (which is partly true) because I know what he will say.

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Well my advice is actually to talk to your husband about your feelings. He's your partner and the first one to go to when you have deep feelings. Even if now isn't the right time I still think sharing your feelings and dreams with him is always the right way to go.

 

After all, isn't that why you married him?

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If anyone has any advice on how to calm the feelings down so that I feel more stable I would love to hear it.

Keep reminding yourself why it's NOT possible to have a baby at this point in time by re-reading your post above several times every day. With all the things you outlined, you are right, it would be a very BAD idea to bring a child into this world when you struggling in almost all aspects (no finances, no job, etc etc).

 

Also, you're still very young and have plenty of time. Barely married one year. Enjoy the next few years together as a couple, get your finances in order, find a job, perhaps even travel a bit before starting a family. Trust me, once the kids come along your life changes forever with almost no freedom for many many years.

 

Last thing, try not to resort to the "crying, whining, and just plain mean to my Husband." - it's unfair to him and could well lead to a rift in your marriage at this early stage which will only make things much worse and not a stable environment for a child (imo).

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I don't try to do the whining, crying, and mean thing...I didn't realize that I was even doing it until the other night when I was making dinner and he picked up the box to the hamburger helper and I snatched it from his hand and told him go to away. Then he goes "what is wrong with you lately" and I looked back and noticed how mean I have been. I apologized and he hasn't said a word about it since. I don't know what to do because I have never been like this before and I really don't like it.

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Do you have any friends with young infants? Perhaps offer to babysit for the evening or take the baby for the night.

 

That might help make the rational side of you over rule the emotional side.

 

(this is coming from the mother of a 9 day old.)

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See this is why you should talk openly to him about why you have been acting the way that you are. It's ok to share all these things with your husband. Maybe now isn't the right time to have a child but that doesn't mean you won't have feelings about it anyway.

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See this is why you should talk openly to him about why you have been acting the way that you are. It's ok to share all these things with your husband. Maybe now isn't the right time to have a child but that doesn't mean you won't have feelings about it anyway.

I agree with this all the way. It IS important that you talk about these things. At least he'll be able to put the puzzle pieces together and know/understand why you've been so mean to him lately. It may not chage the fact that now is not the right time for a baby, but at least you've shared your feelings, and he can too.

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Do you have any friends with young infants? Perhaps offer to babysit for the evening or take the baby for the night.

 

That might help make the rational side of you over rule the emotional side.

 

(this is coming from the mother of a 9 day old.)

 

I wish I did have friends with young children around me but all my friends with kids are else where. I recently moved here and most of my friends close are single.

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Nothing weird about wanting a baby at your age!

 

Just a different perspective... I'm 38, childless, and wishing so much that we'd had children when we were your age (when, like you, I thought I was too young). Now I'm 38, there are all sorts of reasons why we tell ourselves we shouldn't have kids. There have always been perfectly logical reasons why *now* is not the right time... then it's getting too late - that just creeps up on you so quickly!

 

If everyone waited til they were financially prepared, no-one would have kids! At your age you have energy and great health, and many decades ahead of you to develop your career. Your life doesn't stop just because you have kids! In fact, my friends who had kids when they were younger, seem to have a much easier time developing their career after kids. Us older women really struggle to get back into well-paid jobs after caring for children.

 

You're married - your desires matter as much as your husband's. He makes some valid points, but it's not a clear-cut decision - and feelings so deep cannot be ignored.

 

Just another thought in the opposite direction... Are your feelings topsy turvy because of your job loss? That is an extremely traumatic thing to be going through, and you may be feeling like you need to feel valued again...

 

Best wishes with whatever you and your husband decide!

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Just another thought in the opposite direction... Are your feelings topsy turvy because of your job loss? That is an extremely traumatic thing to be going through, and you may be feeling like you need to feel valued again...

 

Best wishes with whatever you and your husband decide!

 

This is a good thought...unfortunately, I knew it was going to happen. I was working for the food court at my university and knew that there were most likely not going to be anything for the summer. It could be that I did not think that it would be this difficult to find another job this summer. I have applied at so many places and nothing. Thanks for your advice!!

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I'm 42 and the mommy of a 4 month old -- and a newlywed. Big advantages to waiting as long as I did (financial, able to step away from career for awhile, emotionally ready) and big disadvantages - the realities of our ages, the additional emotional stress when I was pregnant as well as trying to conceive.

 

Freedom? It all depends how you define it. If you are going to resent the baby because you can't just go see a movie when you want, sleep that extra two hours, leave the house at all because it's too cold/raining/swine flu is rampant/talk to your dearest friend about her huge crisis because the baby needs you and then your New Mommy Brain makes you forget you even spoke to her until the next day if you're lucky, etc etc. For me it doesn't feel like a sacrifice or a loss of freedom but it might have 20 years ago.... or not. Honestly, so much of it is a crapshoot -how you're going to feel, your baby's temperament, how the relationship with your husband changes (maybe not at all but likely it will, maybe for the better, maybe not).

 

I have a feeling you know all and more of what I wrote above but maybe it helps to see it in writing. And yes, totally agree with Hope that you should babysit -- definitely for a weekend and definitely for an infant and a toddler preferably both at once .....

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