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How do I do the NO CONTACT thing after my ex left me and his two kids???


kerri_nicole
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?
Your Boyfriend Left You - So What?

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HI..

Well bascially want to know how to do the No Contact with an ex. He is the father of my two kids, on aged 9 last week and the other 11 weeks, both of whom he never bothers with anymore of seems to care for.

To put a long story short I have or we have (myself & my 2 kids) have been to hell and back in the last two years. My ecx as of now left us high and dry with nothing. First it was with me and my older son, he left us over Christmas with nothing, stopped seeing his son, told me to tell him that he was dead..

 

This was all down to drink and drugs and then seeing another girl and coming back to me and back and forth and back and forth. He promsied us everything that things would change etc.

 

Anyway I took him abck after so much apologising etc and I got pregnant. He wsa not there for the pregancy found out the other girl was never gone saw messages etc. Anyway have had my son (11 weeks old) and he is back to it again. He does not know his new son , maybe seen him 4 times in total, back to where the drinkign originally started, the ausive texts, the not seeing the kids.

 

I am so so shut, I feel so sick and I know I have to break this vicious circle for me and my kids. But PLEASE tell me how to do it. Its day2 day we have not heard from him and I am trying my best not to contact him, but how? I would appreciate anything from anyone that has been in the same situtation..

 

I adore my kids and I have jsut had a new baby I jsut want to move on. He clearly does not want us.

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have you talked to a lawyer yet? you two need to set ground rules, visitation, child support, etc... start on that.

 

next, you really can't go NC with an ex you have children with. but low contact, and keep the conversations strictly about the children. that is a way to go.

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I have tried talking I have tried everything. He sees them and then maybe not again for another month at this stage its doing more harm than good, he only wants to see them while drinking. He bullies my son. He does not know our baby at all, he wants no more of it I am making things harder on all of us trying to contact him and trying to get him to see them.

There is a court order for the older child to pay money a week but not for our baby. If I ask him to see them he ignores???

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God knows I have thought of this parental termination. But the thing is I am not a bad person I have only ever stayed there becuase I thought it was the right thing for my son at the time. He adores his daddy, but now no longer asks for him and seems to know the situation, which is horrible for a 9 year old child. It was his birthday last week and his dad did not even call to see him! He instead went to the oub, where I suppose he has a hassle free life. I provide for my childre, I pay the mortgage I work hard and I look after my baby since I had him 11 weeks ago.

 

I am finding this so so hard like someone had stabbed me or something I am so confused as what to do. What is for the best where do I out an end to it all. I have tried suggesting setting up times and days etc but I jsut get abuse.

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He pays maintenance for one of them and it took me a year nearly tring to get that. Its like he does not know what he wants sp tries to fight everything. I am only young I am 26 with my own house and two kids I jsut want peace now, to get over it and move on. I have tried it all and to be good, his family dont make things easy either, I think they know he is wrong so try to cover it, he is 7 years older, you would think would know better.

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Why on earth would you want to contact a father would say to tell his 7 year son that he is dead? In my eyes he doesnt deserve thats childs love (or yours for that matter) and being drugged up or drunk is just an excuse, the vileness was his blood.

 

Save your children from this man.

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