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ex contacted me today! what to do?


melissag87
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS

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Well here's the story: my b/f of almost 3 years dumped me about 1.5 months ago, he is 24 and i am 22. The reason for the breakup was because he needed his own space and wanted to be single for a while. I understood but i was still hanging on for a while....i still kind of am. throughout the past 1.5 months that we've been broken up we have kept in contact with eachother by either texting, calling, or physically seeing eachother. Then I started NC last week, when all of a sudden to my surprise he i get an email on facebook from him. I got the email tonight and I just got back from a trip to Atlantis in the Bahamas.

 

"Hey, What's up? I sent you a text a few days ago after trying to call you to see how your trip went. Your profile pic looks pretty dope. I hope you had a great time. Get back at me" -Alex

 

I don't know what to do next! Should i email or call him back? i kind of don't want to but i know that if i don't i'll have to see him eventually because I have to see him next week for a concert that we're going to together (we bought the tix b4 we broke up). My plan was to stay nc for 2 weeks and then to just see him the day of the concert, but now my plan is ruined because he emailed me. and btw i never got a missed phone call or text from him...weird?

 

I would really appreciate anyone's insights on what i should do. Thanks

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yeah...that was me. But after that happened i didn't want to feel used ever again! so i decided to go NC. But he's just confusing the hell out of me! If he doesn't want me in his life why is he calling, texting, and emailing me? I think that he might be getting a little nervous that i didn't respond to him, where as before i would pick up the phone right away, or text him right back. I do have to see him next Thursday for the concert that we have tix to, do you think that it would be awkward if i don't respond to the email at all and just wait til i see him next week? He knows i check my facebook everyday. ugh i'm so confused

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I guess you have to ask yourself what you want. If you want to be friends with benefits, just keep doing what you're doing until he no longer wants to be single or one of you finds someone else. If you want more than that then every time you see or talk to him you're just going to make things worse. If it's the latter, I'd also recommend a long period of NC before becoming friends again.

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Well, I wish you hadn't done that; it kinda blurs the picture. And "NC" for a week doesn't amount to anything or make much of a statement.

 

Now you have a couple issues to ponder. Is he looking to get back together? And if he is, what exactly is it that you have that he wants?

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Your plan to go NC is ruined how?

NC is not dependent upon them contacting you...it is YOUR decision not to contact them. You can't control what they do.

 

In all technicality...with NC...you would ignore the email.

 

I'm not saying you should...it's up to you. But that is what someone following NC would do.Since you are going to hang with him at the concert anyway, you should just go NC after that.

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Well my NC plan is ruined because I now i feel like i have to respond to the email if not i'll seem like a jerk. I still love him and I want him back. I dont want to be friends with benefits because i know that i'll always want more and i feel like that will hurt me even more. I do have to see him next week for the concert that we're going to But after that i'm going complete NC. I just don't know if i should write him an email back right away or wait a couple of days?

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i think its a good sign he is reaching out to you. i just think that he wants his cake and to eat it too. so its up to what you want. if you are ok with a causal dating with him, then go for it. if you want solid monogomy than stand your ground. or you can play it by ear and go slow and see what you want.

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