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Dating>Lovers>Friends>Lovers=Dating?


jen83

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I'm confused about what's going on here! Met this guy on a dating site; we hit it off. Dated for a few months--not exclusive, but there was sex involved--and he is phenominal in bed--I'm talking best ever. Then something occurs in his life--I am not given details, but he backs off suddenly. He starts going several days without talking to me--but when he does talk to me, he's just as friendly and warm as ever. I get annoyed. He says he's not in a place to be anyone's boyfriend, that he has too much going on, but that he really likes me, finds me attractive and sexy, loves spending time with me and thinks I'm great. He wants to continue dating. I decide this isn't enough and I cut ties with him because I'm looking for more. He's dissappointed.

 

So I go off back onto the dating site--go out with a handful of guys, a few I like and I start feeling better about it. A month later, me this guy start talking again. He seems happy to hear from me; says he missed me. I tell him I think we should be friends--he is really a great guy--he listens to me, let's me vent and offers suggestions, he's always on my side, he really is an awesome friend. He seems disappointed, but is ok with this. So we hang out--we go to a restaurant(he paid--I protested), we get coffee, some rentals and go back to my house. Our dynamic together is just as warm and friendly as it ever was. Not awkward at all. We cuddle some, everything is fine. He is very well behaved, he leaves at midnight. We go out again two weeks later--this time he asked me out. He pays for dinner again--I protest! We get coffee, movie at my place. He leaves around midnight. At this point, I regret telling him we should just be friends. My initial feelings for him had subsided, but I still find him very attractive and I want to sleep with him!

 

Two weeks pass, this was two days ago, we do the same thing--go out to eat--I make it very clear that I want to pay and this is to be *my treat*--he is very speedy and hands his card to the waitress when it's time to pay, not even giving me a chance. I protest some more--telling him that I didn't invite him out so he could buy me dinner! He laughs and says I can buy the coffee. So I do. We get some rentals, go back to my house, cuddle on the sofa. This time, however, he doesn't leave at midnight, he seems content to stay. We end up cuddling in my bed and I notice that he has an erection, which turns me on. I kiss him, he kisses me back and then pulls away like he's changed his mind(I'm guessing it was because of what I'd said about being friends)--I accept this and change positions. Soon after he changes positions with me, he starts touching my chest and I turn and we start kissing and that leads to sex--awesome sex. Really, really awesome sex. We cuddle up and go to sleep and we both leave to go to work in the morning.

 

So I feel fine. Honestly, I had a good time with him, I'm not all attached to him and mopey, I am completely ok with what happened. I would be more than willing to continue this arrangement until one of us gets into a relationship with some one else. Is this dating? Or friends with benefits? Or what? I know that I'm the one that made this confusing...but honestly, I feel completely fine about it now.

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Is it critical that you define it? That seems to be what caused the disconnect the first time around so since you say you're fine with the arrangement, why not just go with the flow instead of trying to label it? I'd keep the lines of communication open in terms of either of you getting involved with someone else but other than that, just enjoy him.

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Hmmm... I don't think you are really fine with this arrangement, and I think you are going to be disappointed with the result. You want more... even though you might have said different here. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted about it.

I think you should clarify needs and be really, really, really honest with yourself about what you want.

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Hmmm... I don't think you are really fine with this arrangement, and I think you are going to be disappointed with the result. You want more... even though you might have said different here. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have posted about it.

I think you should clarify needs and be really, really, really honest with yourself about what you want.

 

totally agree.

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WTF is Dry Dating? | Guide to Dry D...
WTF is Dry Dating? | Guide to Dry Dating

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