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Need advice!


mindboggled03
How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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Ok so I recently found myself having a huge conflict with my mom and I'm not sure who is correct here, me or her. I need some help!

 

 

My problem began with the fact that i want to move out on my own closer to school, my brother and i are constantly fighting. our relationship is very odd because we're the best of friends one day then the next he's telling me what a * * * * * , spoiled brat i am, he has said some pretty hurtful things to me such as how fat i am, that i need to work out, things of that sort.

 

while i've told my mother all of this, and how hurtful his words are, she never does anything about it.

 

She recently she told me that i needed to loose weight, that everyone in my family is always talking about me and my weight and why i gained weight in the first place. She then proceeded to tell me that all of her friends daughters are so thin and how I wasn't. She says she's telling me this for my own good, that she is worried. Now for the record, i weigh 170 lbs, when i used to weigh 130 lbs and while i do know that i have gained weight i thought parents were supposed to love you no matter what! i havent spoken to my mother for a couple of days now, and i do not plan to . I've told her how damaging her words are to me and she doesn't understand that it is hurtful. while i'm still financially dependent on her, i feel like breaking free from her and my brother they provide a toxic and negative environment for me, i hate my self because of them, because of the things they tell me. While i'm an amazing student about to graduate, have my own job, responsible, beautiful, i feel that all of these things are nonexistent to them because of the fact that i've gained weight. am i wrong to be upset at her for this?

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Maybe the weight thing is just concern for you but shes showing it in the wrong way. It doesnt sound like your REMOTLEY over weight to me.

 

I understand the brother thing, its hard for parents to take sides, she probably just wants to keep the peace.

 

Try and explain to her that what she says hurts you. And you dont understand!

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I think that it's not unusual for families to fight when children are grown up and living at home. It's sad, but I wonder if your mom feels as though she's having to referee fights with you and your brother like when you were both kids - "Mom, he called me *FAT"!"

 

Focus on the good stuff, that you're going to graduate and can be independent and move on, and have an adult relationship with your brother and mother. Things will get easier when you have separated slightly from them, I think

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thats the thing, we're not living at home, i haven't for 4 yrs. The house in which i live in is owned by my parents but they live separately in their own home.

 

I dont want to make any impulse decisions, but at this point i feel like completely removing myself from their life. I think that will be best for both myself and for them too, thanks for your advice.

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thats the thing, we're not living at home, i haven't for 4 yrs. The house in which i live in is owned by my parents but they live separately in their own home.

 

I dont want to make any impulse decisions, but at this point i feel like completely removing myself from their life. I think that will be best for both myself and for them too, thanks for your advice.

 

Don't do that. Not if you can help it. Not over a fight. My brother and dad both died, and to be honest, I would do anything to have my family back. Try to work on it, rather than make big decisions like walking away just yet.

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How did 40 pounds sneak up on you? I never understood how poeple let that happen. I mean 170 is healthy if your like 6'1 or something but it you like 5'3-5'9 then not so much. You should want to be healthy for you, not for anyone else.

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