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People talk too much ?


Tarkan

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Have you ever felt like if people just talk for the sake of being social but aren't actually comunicating alot in their message ? Or like they're talking to you but they don't care about what you might say just because it makes them feel good to be able to talk ?

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My sister talks too much, about nothing. I am a quiet person and I think this comes from not being able to get a word in as a child. Shes the kind of person that will talk and talk and talk and you wont even be able to make a comment or suggestion. Its like shes talking to herself. I literally have to set aside time to call her in my schedule.

 

I think silence is beautiful sometimes. You can say something profound in just a few words.

 

I dont mind ppl who talk a lot about meaningful things. Especially ppl with a lot of insight. What matters to me is if the convo is engaging.

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i find all that chatter really really boring- i would much rather have a conversation with substance.

 

My neighbor talks and talks about nothing- i could put the phone down and every so often say "uh huh" - "yeah" ... "really?"

 

and she would never notice i wasn't paying attention.

 

lmao! With my sister, I dont even get a min to say that.

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Have you ever felt like if people just talk for the sake of being social but aren't actually comunicating alot in their message ? Or like they're talking to you but they don't care about what you might say just because it makes them feel good to be able to talk ?

 

Yes.

 

So what I've done is learn to go with the flow as much as possible.

 

I used to be very shy and get irritated when people talked my ear off, but then I figured, "you know what? if they're gonna chew my head off, I'm going to talk too!" And I started opening up and chatting more...and in a way I feel like I can handle conversations better now.

 

But usually people who just talk about things and are not sincere do not end up being people I want to be close with because I feel like they are just saying stuff to say stuff and not because they really mean it.

 

I used to be VERY anal about that and even hold grudges. But I think people do it unintentionally so it doesn't offend me anymore.

 

If you just look at it as them trying to connect with you, maybe it won't bother you so much.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Have you ever felt like if people just talk for the sake of being social but aren't actually comunicating alot in their message ? Or like they're talking to you but they don't care about what you might say just because it makes them feel good to be able to talk ?

 

Do you know that you are basically describing the phenomenon: "Small talk".

 

That's the essential aim of small talk - saying anything because it doesn't matter; the point is to make you feel good.

 

But when ppl small talk they also are testing the boundaries - is he/she agreeable? Do they uphold this social exchange or do they get bored?

 

If small talking is satisfactory generally people will start to disclose more personal information eg. yesterday I bla bla bla.

 

So yeah, you may think it's pointless but there's an art to it, and if you don't do it well ppl won't open up to you.

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So yeah, you may think it's pointless but there's an art to it, and if you don't do it well ppl won't open up to you.

I don't do it well, and people open up to me

 

Has more to do with your demeanor than your ability to yak about BS. Even an introvert can seem friendly, you know - and they don't have to use smalltalk to do it.

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I love talking sometimes when you just strike up a random conversation you might find a solution to something; for example I am an Engineer major, and I find answers to my questions when I am not focussed on what I had a question on. It helps with your brain and with communicating skills and it is a good self-esteem booster just to be able to talk

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