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so so so angry with myself! grrrr


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I was on day five of no contact as much as possible as we work/live together and as we work together very closely i new he was missing me!


But today! ahhhh


we ended up having lunch together- fine still felt ok and in control, this was in a work setting, in the doctors loung, lots of other people about


Then ended up watching tv together and i felt more and more despertate i started fliritng and trying to get his attention.


We had to leave to go another city for another set of placements so were taking a car with a couple of other friends, i got my stuff ready and went to knock on his door to tell him we are leaving, he invites me and starts changing his clothes in front of me- i got embarassed and looked away!


Ok evening, went out to dinner with some other friends including him- i was miserable as i felt like he had moved on acting all happy and i loved him so much and wanted him so back and i looked really miserable too and was quiet.


We came back and while he was out he hurt his leg so i knocked on his door and walked in and said oh are u ok he said im just tired i want to sleep, i said oh let me just check you out,


he said ' look i jiust want to sleep, i need to undress and i cant to that while you are , bye'


i feel like im back to sqaure one! i havnt given up! i want him back so badly.


DO i still have a chance where do i go from here?



Today i tried to be myself again and made lots of plans for tonight, and as i was saying bye to everyone he said 'where are u going, what are u doing? who with?'


I just said some places with some friends!


Im feeling more in control again and i really do want him back, i know we worked very well before and had chemistry he just wanted some time to himself which im giving him so i hope this is all worth it!

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