saying what you mean

[ays]

I'm the kind of person who says what they mean.

I wont tell you that your hair is nice unless it is. If it looks bad I won mention it at all.

If I agree to meet you I mean it I will be there.

If I say I like you I do.

I also harboured the illusion that everyone was like that and have suffered accordingly.

I have been brow beaen into meeting people I didn't want to meet on dates. I woudl go because they wouldn't take no for an answer and then turn up to be stood up.

 

So nowI'm wary.

 

This guy I like texted me on my holidays to say Hurry Back, It's no fun going out for lunch without you etc etc.

 

But I don't know if it means that he is really that fond of me and that he really prefers having lunch with me or its just one of those things people say thoughtlessly and the rest of the world knows this but I don't.

[anya1607307555]

I would take it to mean he enjoys having lunch with you and is missing your company at those times.

[onewithbooks]

Life is too short to think negtively.

 

Its much lovelier to think he misses you than to think he is shining you on. So why not think positively.

 

I realize then you run the risk of being hurt, but if you close yourself off, then what good is that? If a heart is open enough to give, then it is open enough to receive.

[ays]

Yes, but if I took everything seriously I would think that he was seriuosly interested in me. Then I would think he was just too shy to ask. Then I would ask. Then he would recoil and tell me he wasn't interested that way. Then I would be mortified. It's happened to me before with a guy who made it clear he was mad about me but ran when it became real.

 

That is why I am trying to walk the thin line between not believing him but not discouraging him just in case he is sincere. Also if he isn't interested I'd like things to go on as they are rather then ending a friendship.

I never tell him i miss him. When he asked me to hurry back I texted that I`would order the ferryman to paddle faster.

[onewithbooks]

Not all men will run when it becomes real. You cant judge the actions of all by the actions of one.

 

btw, cute response to his text.

[OmegaMan]

Life is too short to think negtively.

 

I'd like to think so too but sometimes the truth is not positive, or beautiful.

 

Sometimes, it seems to me that being lucid involves seeing reality as it is, as opposed as to what we want it to be.

 

Sometimes the truth is cold and it hurts.

[ghost69]

sounds like he enjoys the time you spend at lunch.

[anya1607307555]

Yes, but if I took everything seriously I would think that he was seriuosly interested in me. Then I would think he was just too shy to ask. Then I would ask. Then he would recoil and tell me he wasn't interested that way. Then I would be mortified. It's happened to me before with a guy who made it clear he was mad about me but ran when it became real.

 

That is why I am trying to walk the thin line between not believing him but not discouraging him just in case he is sincere. Also if he isn't interested I'd like things to go on as they are rather then ending a friendship.

I never tell him i miss him. When he asked me to hurry back I texted that I`would order the ferryman to paddle faster.

 

I'm not really understanding what you want from him, to be honest. If you like him, why wouldn't you want to treat it seriously? Sounds far too complicated to me.

[Batya33]

I would take it at face value and understand that if he wants to have lunch with you he will specifically plan a time for you two to have lunch. I think the comment is sweet and flattering.

[l0vel0rn]

Take someone at their word until you have a reason not to. Try not to take a person too seriously until they show you that they are serious. Continue to be honest because believe me, not a lot of people are. It would be very nice if people said what they meant and did not waste other people’s time building up false hope. In reality, it does and will happen. You can’t completely shield yourself from it or you will close yourself off to the real possibilities. As they say, you have to roll with the punches.

[WomanWriter]

I'd like to think so too but sometimes the truth is not positive, or beautiful.

 

Sometimes, it seems to me that being lucid involves seeing reality as it is, as opposed as to what we want it to be.

 

Sometimes the truth is cold and it hurts.

 

I feel the same way...that's why I'm wary of people who always want to be positive 24/7. Not to say it's good to dwell on the negative (Lord knows I've done my share and I want to move past that).

 

I think life is a pretty equal combo of positive and negative experiences. If you can realize that things are negative but still try to find positivity from them (without denying their negative aspects), I think that is the best way to be. I never cared much for people who wanted to deny all negativty in life. But focusing on it exclusively is draining and also not reality because surely there are some good things in life!

[ays]

Thanks for all your comments.

I'm a very cheery person. I,m generally in a good mood, but it is because I want to face the truth rather than hide from it.

I'm not very good a mind games and am slow to warm to people but when I do I'm very loyal.

I'm wary of people who are very expressive because it has been my experience that they are often insincere. My best friend and I never exchange gifts and never profess devotion to each other. We don't hug or kiss but She is the best , always there whenever you need her, thoughtful and loyal and i'm the same back. I had some friends in the past who told me how theyloved being my friend and that I was a great friend but the moment I had a problem it was the less expressive friend who was the onlyo ne there for me.

 

I like this guy. I'm not in love with him but I am warming to him. If he's not interested I won't be hurt at this stage. If he is I'll give it a go and I rarely say that. I can cope with either situation. What I cannot cope with is being led to believe by his words and actions that he is interested and thn discovering this is just how he is.

 

we had a talk once about freindship and I said that alot of my work colleagues had coffee with people they disliked rather than have no coffee. I said (and it is true) that I only have coffee with people I like.

Of course as I said it I realised that I had inadvertently given him the first personal compliment I had ever given him.

He replied that he only had coffee with people he found attractive and I visibly started. He qualified it by saying he mean Attractive with a small a, people whose personalities appealed to him.

I believe that is what he meant as he has coffees with men often and he's not gay. But I think starting was not my wisest move. I don't know whether he took it to mean i only wanted to be friends, am madly in love with him or that he needs to take his time with me. The third would be the correct interpretation.

Anway I have arranged to meet him for coffee next week by email and his reply was "You betcha, Welvome back!!!!"