Should the man order the food for him and his mate?

[Scorpion Fury]

I just don't see why it should ever be an issue.

[ghost69]

the only time i would ever do something like that is if i know absolutely how she likes her food and what she wants. it would probably be at a specific restaurant we go to for that one particular item. otherwise, order away, you have a mouth too.

[HouseKitten]

With my ex, he would almost always order for me. Especially with drinks orders, since he knew exactly what I would be having, and then usually we'd do the whole 'what are you having?' thing before the waiter got there so he'd know what I wanted.

 

That worked for me cos I have no voice projection, so in busy restaurants it's difficult to make myself heard

 

With new men though, they always always let me order for myself. I've never had a man try to order my food for me yet, whether I'd told him what I was having or not. I think unless you know someone quite well, most guys won't assume to do that.

[StrawberryYogurt]

That used to be the proper way to do it but is really out of date.

 

This is why

 

Amen. I would only order for her if she was in the bathroom and I wanted to speed things along, food wise. My G/F does the same for me.

[Alezia]

I don't mind if my man goes to get us drinks at the bar before we get admitted to the dining room or something. I don't usually get anything fancy though... either wine or beer.

[Lights]

I think I'd be completely annoyed, to be honest.

 

I picture this like in the movies where the girl doesn't even get to tell the guy what she likes before he says something like "and the lady here will have the fish".

 

* * * , what if I don't want fish?

[DN]

The reasons it used to be done are firstly that the man would have invited the lady to dinner as his guest.

Secondly, there was a fiction that ladies were not supposed to know anything about wine - this was the man's area of expertise. Even when married the man of the house was responsible for maintaining the wine cellar. So when dining out the man, as the host, would order the wine. Notice how, even now, although waiters will bring a food menu for each diner they only provide one wine list.

 

So the lady would tell the man what she wanted from the menu before the waiter arrived to take the food order so the man had an opportunity to choose the proper wine to accompany the meal. When the waiter arrived the man would order for both and then order the wine. In high-end establishments there would be a separate wine-waiter (sometimes known as a sommelier)

[XxJustMexX]

The people who are annoyed about a guy ordering for her... I think the poster reiterated a time or two how he's asking about just relaying the order to the waiter... not actually deciding on what she's eating. i.e... You're making small talk, and talking about what you're going to order, the waiter comes by, and asks what you guys are ordering, the guy says "We'll have the X, Y, and the Z appetizer..." (most likely looks at the girl to confirm if that's right, she says yes)... I don't see a problem in that...

 

And how can everyone automatically assume that it's with bad intentions? Some women may fine it annoying, some find it sweet. I doubt it's many a mens' intentions to be a crazy control freak who tells his woman what to eat... I doubt it has anything to do with control and going against her wishes, but actually trying to be cordial and sweet.

[Lights]

That's really interesting food for thought, DN.

 

But it really is old-school. Seems strange that some men would want to have this aspect of their relationship be traditional to the extreme, but still want their girlfriend to have a career and be equal financially and all of that.

[DN]

That's really interesting food for thought, DN.

 

But it really is old-school. Seems strange that some men would want to have this aspect of their relationship be traditional to the extreme, but still want their girlfriend to have a career and be equal financially and all of that.

As I said, it is really old-fashioned in the same way that it is old-fashioned that the man should always pay for the dates.

 

Actually, in this case it was the woman who seemed to want this to be done according to the OP.

[Lights]

As I said, it is really old-fashioned in the same way that it is old-fashioned that the man should always pay for the dates.

 

Actually, in this case it was the woman who seemed to want this to be done according to the OP.

 

Interesting, thanks for the insight.

 

So when the men were expected to always pay for dates, does that go for relationships as well or just initial dating?

[_Asti_]

As long as he asks me what I want first, I don't give a crap if he orders for me or not.

Its happened both ways many times, and I don't even give a second thought to it when he does.

[DN]

Interesting, thanks for the insight.

 

So when the men were expected to always pay for dates, does that go for relationships as well or just initial dating?

Way back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and DN was dating, men paid for all the dating more or less. Then, as always, changes occurred and things gradually became more equal - there is still a ways to go in the relationship world between paying, gender roles etc. but the only thing that hasn't changed is that change continues to occur.

[Perfect Dark]

Way back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and DN was dating, men paid for all the dating more or less. Then, as always, changes occurred and things gradually became more equal - there is still a ways to go in the relationship world between paying, gender roles etc. but the only thing that hasn't changed is that change continues to occur.

 

Random off topic comment- But that was funny!

[Lights]

Way back when when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and DN was dating, men paid for all the dating more or less. Then, as always, changes occurred and things gradually became more equal - there is still a ways to go in the relationship world between paying, gender roles etc. but the only thing that hasn't changed is that change continues to occur.

 

LOL dinosaurs.

 

I guess the make or break for me on this topic would be whether the man asked what you wanted before ordering.

 

Because there could be many situations where he orders for a woman. But there's a huge difference between choosing for her and ordering, and asking her what she wants and ordering. One is controlling and old school extreme, another is nicely traditional but not over the top.

[DN]

Well, again - it is from custom long ago. At one time the man might order the food without asking. The rationale being that it was unbecoming for a young single lady to talk directly to rough waiters and the man should know what the lady's food preference would be. After all, if he didn't know her that well she wouldn't be dining alone with him in a restaurant in the first place.

[Lights]

Well, again - it is from custom long ago. At one time the man might order the food without asking. The rationale being that it was unbecoming for a young single lady to talk directly to rough waiters and the man should know what the lady's food preference would be. After all, if he didn't know her that well she wouldn't be dining alone with him in a restaurant in the first place.

 

That makes more sense for why they would have done that back then, and how the man would know what she wanted.

 

I guess the times have just changed now though to where often times on a date, two people really don't know each other at all so it might be looked upon differently.

[DN]

When my wife and I go out to dinner we choose what we want and then decide together on the wine. If she wants white and I want red then we order by the carafe or glass.

 

When my daughters were small we got them to order their own food from the wait staff - the sooner they learn independence of thought and action the better.

[sophie274]

One time, my boyfriend ordered for me at a restaurant (we'd talked about what we were going to eat - he ordered the appetizer and his food and then just tacked mine onto the end). The waiter was very confused, and ending up putting both entrees in the middle of the table! So it can't be done much anymore, at least around my neck of the woods.

[cazmoore]

personally, I don't like it when someone orders food for me.

[pinkelephant]

i would find that odd. but as long as it's not a control freak thing, i really wouldn't mind.

[dragon lady]

I used to find it amusing when I'd go to dinner with my cheapskate ex. I almost always had to pay and the waiter would always bring the bill to him. No putting it in the middle of the table. Straight to him. You can't assume tradition these days.

[melanie6929]

I doubt she's going to lose sleep over you not ordering her food. The issue probably won't even come up again. If it does, what the heck...honestly.

 

Plus, it sounds kind of weird coming from two grown adults..."i'm gonna have..." and "she's gonna have...." yada yada. Just weird..

[ProtestTheHero]

I let the lady order her own food.

 

I also let her pay for her own.

 

I wonder if both are equally supported since the logic behind both is the same.

[TalELA]

i'm asking because my girlfriend said it would be sweet if a guy did that.......

If your girlfriend thinks it would be sweet, then do it! But a safe rule of thumb in case you ever end up dating someone else....let the female order her own food then you order yours.