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bad idea to contact her for hookup?


wazza
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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A little over a week ago I brought an end to a fling I was having with a girl. I thought our relationship was just supposed to be fun, partying, hooking up, stuff like that, but I got the impression that she wanted more. When I confronted her about this, she said she didn't want anything more than that, but that after the confrontation it was too weird to get back to where we were. so we stopped seeing and talking to eachother. I told my girl-friend about this and she said the girl probably really did want something but said she didn't so she wouldn't look bad.

 

Recently I've kind of been thinking of talking to her and proposing that we hook up again, because she was one of my favorite lays (excuse my crude language) ever, and I know she said she really liked my...skills...and wanted to do it again and again, so I wouldn't be surprised if she said yes. But at the same time I'm hesitant to get involved with someone who liked me as much as she did. Would it be a horrible idea to tell her I want to start hooking up again if I make it clear that I still don't want anything more than that?

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I can empathize with the girl in some ways - I think you should let her be at this point. Even if she is willing to go forward with you, if she has feelings, you're using her. Even if it's her choice. I know how that feels - to want more or worse yet be in love and to be relegated to fantasy or sex.

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If you think there is even a small chance that she does have feelings for you, don't sleep with her again. You'll just be dragging her around.

 

She will probably not resist hooking up with you because she thinks that eventually you will start to have feelings for her, and it's not fair to be any part of that if the feelings aren't mutual.

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get out while the going is good. right now there aren't too many hard feelings. you dip again, and it's gonna taste sour the second time. no way it'll end good, the girl did have feelings for you, she just didn't want to admit it, cause it's humiliating when someone doesn't return those feelings.

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I know that people don't MEAN for this to happen, but girls (more often than guys) tend to get very attatched after having sex with someone. This could be with a fling, or even a serious relationship. I've seen it happen to my friends, who have hooked up with guys. Usually they end up wanting something more down the road because their is that physical bond created from sex.

 

That is probably what happened in this case. She may have very strong feelings for you now even if she didn't plan it that way.

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She can make her own decisions. Call her up if you want to. She said she doesn't want anything more, so maybe she really doesn't. If she does, you have already made it clear that you just want to have fun, so if she has any expectations other than that, that's on her.

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Now that you've made it explicit between the two of you that you suspect she has feelings for you, you'd better not go there unless you want a relationship or unless you want a melodramatic fallout sooner or later. Her denials were to save face. If you pick up with her again she could very easily get the idea ... in the back of her mind ... that you aren't against the idea of something more significant developing between the two of you.

 

You were alert enough to detect the feelings she was developing -- kudos! Don't let horniness overrule your intuition.

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Now that you've made it explicit between the two of you that you suspect she has feelings for you, you'd better not go there unless you want a relationship or unless you want a melodramatic fallout sooner or later. Her denials were to save face. If you pick up with her again she could very easily get the idea ... in the back of her mind ... that you aren't against the idea of something more significant developing between the two of you.

 

You were alert enough to detect the feelings she was developing -- kudos! Don't let horniness overrule your intuition.

 

you've talked to her? you know her?

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