Jump to content

An x Addiction


What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

Recommended Posts

I've been surfing the internet for porn for about 5 years now more or less.

I stopped for a period because I had other things occupying me but after that wore off i gradually started doing it again.

I had a girlfriend at the time and she found out that I done it which was a complete shock to her. It really hurt her and completely changed her opinion of me. After we got around that problem, I stopped immediately. I didn't want to hurt her and I wanted her to believe in me. I just felt so bad that I made her feel the way she did.

After a while I started to do it again when I had free opportunitys, and it would be for hours and hours. I usualy made time for it and/or usualy decided to prioritise it first. I stopped going out with my friends to do this instead often. Every, every time i've finished with it, I tell my self, 'never again, that was the last time.' but i never stick to it. I try to tell myself that if i do it, bad things would happen but i still shamefully do it. The 'sort' of things that i surf, i think, have now channeled my mind and that these things are the only things that arous me.

I hate doing it. It always brings me down and I think it makes my lifestyle bad. I know it sounds pathetic but I just feel i'm addicted. I'll often do other things but i'll always come back to porn.

My head is so messed up. Nothing I think of stops me. I don't know how to get out of this rut. I just need some tip top advice or just replys so I can go from there because I'm stuck on my own at the moment and it's quite hard to talk about it anyway.

fnkyou

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Perhaps you might speak with a therapist...remember downer...live in reality not in fantasy...addictions are hard to break, but you can with willpower and a good support system to perhaps try and figure out what is the underlying cause of this situation you have....best to ya!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

thankyou for the reply. I thought about therapy but have not got a clue about it. whether my problem is something i can actualy go for, costs, where, who and how would i keep it descriet?? and my reality at the moment is so dreadful. i don't know where to go. i'm just so confused with everything in life. i don't ever feel comfortable in myself. i'm sure my thoughts are strange. it's like i'm the only person who thinks what i do but trying to share with other people is impossible to explain.

 

Now saying all of this makes nobody want to reply as it's all too complicated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I replied to a woman on here recently who was concerned of her husband's addiction to porn. Here is my reply...I think it can apply to you too.

 

"Don't give up on him.

 

My fiancee was a porn/sex addict when we first got together. We would have sex multiple times a day and I would go to work and he would masterbate. He never understood how it made me feel and why I was so dissappointed. It was a long haul of trying to "deal" with it, but a year later he RARELY looks at porn. Last time was like 2 months ago and the time before that was 9 months.

 

We installed this program on all of our computers called x3watch. It basically monitors the actions and reports any questionable sites to an "accountability partner." My SO and I chose each other (not that I even looked at porn, but I wanted him to see that I was being supportive and willing to give up certain privacies to help him. It was hard at first seeing the sites with the dates and times attached, but I found that the best techniques that helped him stop looking at porn was when I would forward his report back to him and write something on top like: "Better luck next time, I still love you."

 

Your husband seems to have insecurity problems and lacks self confidence through your guys' relationship. Without delving in, those might be something to address. Your husband needs to see that that is what is ultimately breaking your marriage. You need to look at actions or expressions you might be sending him to make him feel inadequate.

 

Another note for the x3watch: Make sure he knows you put it on his computer...especially if you choose to be his "partner." I made that mistake and sneakily put it on, of course I called him out on sites, he immediately took it off and NO progress was made. Discuss it as a possibility and why you would want to and maybe even say that YOU don't have to b e his partner for it...maybe your counselor would be a wise choice...or if you are religious, a pastor from church....?

 

I really hope this post helps. Porn is a delicate subject for me as well and it was something I had to deal with. If you really love him, don't give up. Addictions can be broken with time and lots of love and support.

 

Good luck. "

 

 

Good luck to you, Downer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a very similar problem to him. Regardless of whether it is "addiction" or not is irrelevant; if you want him to stop, or most importantly, if he wants to stop but can't, I would recommend going to the website link removed; it has essentially helped me understand the problem (which can become considerably more serious than just porn over time) and start rebuilding my life from a healthy basis. I would highly recommend it. There is also a section for partners so that they can understand what the person is going through and how they can heal as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...