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What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

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Allright, so I have been dating my boyfriend (He's 17; Im 18 ) for almost 6 months. His mother, in the beggining, loved me. Shed text me and phone me asking how my day was, calling me sweety and such. My bf is a procrastinator, and he failed a module in a class. His mother all of a sudden blames me, "School comes first, you both know that, You know I never wanted you two to date, never." And I tried to talk to her, but to no avail.

He has curfews, even though is summer holidays, and in the morning we can never go out for breakfast because his mother doesnt want him to leave the house before 12am.


He is taking summerschool, and naturally, its my fault. Hes taking summerschool for a class that just wouldnt fit in his next year timetable! When he gets grounded, he cant see me or talk to me. But, he can still hang out with friends, drive around, watch tv, play video games+computer,etc.


His mother and dad sometimes have family talks about his and my relationship, and he NEVER EVER defends us, him or me. We were out on a date, he gets a phone call, while we are eating supper. His mother. After a lot of okays and sures, he hangs up. I go "What was that about...?" He goes, "Oh, we have to get going now, I have to pick up milk for my mom and drop off my little brother at his friends house and pick up my sister." I said there was no way I was ditching my supper I just got placed down to leave and not eat. He phoned back and, almost scardily asked, if we can finish our meal. Which was a battle to win, but we had to shovel our food and go.


I have to mention that his dad is working during the week, and comes home on weekends. Understandable that the next in line would be the oldest boy, but still. Most of the time mother is sitting on the couch, and tells him to drop off the movies at blockbuster or they will be late.


What do I do? We NEVER argue, unless its about his mother. We've come close to breaking up twice. I dont want to date him and his mother, but I dont want to leave him over his mother. She'd 'win'...

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Bear in mind that he is 17 and is still under his parent's care and control - he basically has to do as he is told. At 18 you are legally an adult and can stand up for yourself more than he can.


For him to assert independence from his mother could cause major issues that would affect his relationship with his family for years.


I suggest 'going with the flow' for now until he is more able to assert his independence.

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I agree, you both are still very young.

As a mother, even though my son is only 18 months, I can definitely see myself wanting to place the blame on someone else rather than my own child. This could be the case or perhaps if he isn't doing well in a class and you know about it; you should gently remind him that he doesn't want to fail another class.

A cautionary tale, however, if you two may have future plans, and I don't think this may apply to your situation; if his mother remains angry with you for an extended period of time or doesn't want to work things out, you might be better off to move on. In law relationships are notoriously difficult to deal with and if his mother outright refuses to work things out then you might be better off to consider the relationship.

If you want to read into some real horror stories link removed is a site that could give you some insight into what you need to be careful of in your future.

Hope that helps.

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