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Am I being sensitive or is she a <>


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Ok, I dont know if I am just overly sensitive right now or if she is being a .

Since the break she very timidly tried to get back together with me. But every time I saw her she kept asking for little random things back. It seems kind of petty...like you destroyed my heart do you really need that back.

 

I had to see her the other day after about two weeks of NC and again she asked for her old junk surfboard back and she doesn't even know how to surf. Then I left something at her work and I had to call her and ask her to grab it because i had broken down and called almost in tears asking her to see my new apartment. She went out of her way to get it and wrote me an email today saying she has it and another thing that she found that is mine .........but do I have her twenty five dollar snorkel gear.

 

I dont know, it seems like if you crush someone then keep asking for little stuff back its kind of being a jackas*. She knows we are going to be going back into NC and she has told me repeatedly that its over, so, it feels like she is just getting all she can before we disappear from each others lives. She has made no attempts to stay in my life, no calls, emails, or letters that I didn't initiate.

 

I am thinking I should just sayit and forget my stuff and go right into NC.

 

Your thoughts?

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sounds like standard procedure to me. i would go through all of your stuff and make a pile for her and load it up. tell her what you think she might have and tell her to meet you somewhere. exchange it all and be done with it. that's what i usually do.

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I dont know, it seems like if you crush someone then keep asking for little stuff back its kind of being a jackas*. She knows we are going to be going back into NC and she has told me repeatedly that its over, so, it feels like she is just getting all she can before we disappear from each others lives. She has made no attempts to stay in my life, no calls, emails, or letters that I didn't initiate.

 

When you say she's getting all she can before we disappear from each other's lives - you are talking about HER stuff, aren't you? She isn't trying to get anything she isn't entitled to? If so, I don't understand why you don't think she should have it. If you're going into NC, and she's told you repeatedly that it's over, she is being true to her word when she doesn't initiate contact. If she did, this would only give you false hope and actually be cruel in the long run.

 

It doesn't sound as though she's being spiteful or obstructive; she's willing to go out of her way to ensure you get your belongings back, so it's not as if she's operating any kind of double standard here.

 

You need to heal, and having lots of little reminders of her around really isn't going to help that process. I know it must be dreadfully painful at the moment - but it WILL get better, and will get better all the quicker if you can stick to NC and really process your feelings.

 

All the best with this - I feel for you.

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Hey, I think you should give her her things back. This is also a step to healing. If you feel like calling her in tears, instead, call a friend or maybe a distress line. This will prevent her from knowing how you feel b/c now the relationship is different.

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I agree with the others here. You don't want her stuff hanging around.

 

Set a time for her to pick up her stuff, and then agree that anything she choses to leave behind is yours to do what you want with. And vise verse, you get your stuff at a specific time, and anything left with her becomes hers. I just did this with my husband, and it felt kinder than leaving things intermingled. I did not want him bitterly saying down the road "She took my ___________." I'd rather he think "I left her AND my ______________."

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