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First time that I've been interested in somebody that has a kid...


riverhead

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I had an enjoyable outing with a woman this weekend, we went out on my boat, and had a good time -- it was very casual -- not even sure if it could be called a date but it was planned ahead of time and it was just the two of us.

 

She was divorced about a year ago and has a 5 yo daughter -- we chose a day that her daughter was with her dad so that she would be free. We used to work together so I know a bit about her life. Normal chat and afternoon together... I let her drive the boat part of the day, we talked about wake boarding, windsurfing (she is a bit of a athlete -- which I really like), swimming, etc.

 

Anyway, at the end of the afternoon, I asked her if she thought her daughter would enjoy boating. She already seemed to be having a good time, but I had the sense that her face lit up even more when I said that and she said she was sure her daughter would like to come along some time. After we said our good-byes... I got to thinking... was that way too soon to invite her daughter along with us? Does it put too much extra tension on the dating situation?

 

This is the first time I've ever tried to date anybody that has any children, and I'm not really sure how best to proceed. We are both active people that like outdoor life, so it almost seems natural to me to let her share the fun with her child, but should I be taking that part more slowly?

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When I first started dating my boyfriend, he wanted me to meet his kid within the first week after I met him. I think it's because I was supportive of the fact that he's a father, rather than scared away by it, and he knew I would be comfortable being introduced into his child's life, even after such a short amount of time.

 

I think the fact that her face lit up is a very good thing. It can be kind of tough for single parents to date people who are that supportive of the situation, and your offer probably means a lot to her. As long as she doesn't come out and tell you she's uncomfortable with it, I think there's nothing wrong with showing you're interested in getting to know her daughter.

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sounds like you had a nice time. As a single father, i can tell you that when someone even thinks about your children, its a very nice gesture. I'm sure her being a single mom has had trouble finding a good man that would accept her as well as her child into a relationship, especially since you don't have any children.

 

My normal waiting time to introduce my children to anyone would be at least....at least 6 months of steady dating, and i would need to feel very confident that this person would be in my life.

 

So, don't be surprised if you don't meet her daughter anytime soon, its not a reflection on you, but a good mother who is protecting her child, as she should be.

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