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I broke up with my boyfriend last september after being together just 4 months.we broke up because we got into the relationship to quickly without gettin to know eachother first.i fell for him very quickly but it was sincere and i do with all my heart love him.since then we've had an on and off friendship. We have mutual friends so it was a hard process trying to get over him.

With in the period of september to now our friendship has been up and down because i think we both(him more than me) find it hard to separate friends from boyfriend and girlfriend.

I honestly dont know where i stand with him. Im happy being his friend although i love him, but he sends me mixed signals and i just want to clearly know what it is between us. He quite happily talks to girls infront of me 70% of his fone calls are with females and he often talks about helping him find a new girlfriend im fine with all that because im the type of person that wants to see him happy even if its with someone else! But whilst he says and does all that he acts totally different with me like he still treats me like im his girlfriend but without the status.hes always around my house. He really makes an effort with my mum. He becomes very wound up and annoyed and tells me to get off the phone when im talking to other males in his presence.during our relationship i became close with all his friends and family..he's particularly close to one of his cousins and me and him developed a good friendship and we get on well..but my ex hates it.for instance if hes round my house with his cousin and he doesnt like what im wearing i.e i have on clothes that show my figure i have to change..me, him and his cousin went to the movies and he delibrately sits in the middle of us.or if i dont see them for a while and i ring him and ask him how his cousin is he gets upset. He phones me several times a day to see where i am and what im doing and who im with im only allowed to say hi and bye to his friends..last night he stayed round my house and we were talking in the dark. I find it hard to tell him my feelings and my thoughts because im shy and i still feel nervous when im around him sometimes cause i still really like him. He asked me to tell him what was on my mind cause he could feel i felt awkward kind of and i said no and asked him what he was thinking and he said hes not going to tell me i had to guess i could feel he wanted to talk about us but i didnt have the guts to say it just incase i was wrong.. And we kinda left it at that. I just want to know where i stand with him so i can try and tame my feelings and move on or try build up the courage to tell him i want us to try again but im confused about how he feels.. Does he still like/love me? Or is he just being over protective..what should i do?

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He doesn't want you to talk to other guys, you aren't allowed to say anything other than "hello" and "goodbye" to his friends, he gets mad when you ask how his male cousin is doing, and he dictates what clothes you are allowed to wear. I'd say you made the right decision breaking up with him. Did all this happen before you broke up or has this still been going on since september?

 

He isn't being overprotective. Overprotective is when someone is concerned for your safety & wants to make sure you aren't injured. Like not wanting you to drive in bad weather. He is being controlling, which is completely different. His actions aren't a display of how much he cares for you, they display his need for controlling your every move.

 

I say create more distance from this guy. You've been broken up a long time; it's time to cut a few more ties with him and only go to social events that he will not be attending.

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This Was Going On During The Relationship But Not As Intense. I can Understand His Insecurities Because He Had a Girlfriend Stolen Off Him By a Close Friend. But i Admit He Goes Over Board.

I Think Maybe I Know What To Do But I Dont Want To Because Of How i Feel!

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Everyone has had bad experiences in the past. Hey, if they weren't "bad" experiences then no one would be single, eh? That still does not give him the right to tell you what to wear and not allow you to talk to people. You think he just started acting like this after his ex started dating his friend? I doubt it.

 

You dated this guy for like 4 months nearly a year ago. Hey, if you want a life of dictatorship, someone controlling your every move, getting mad at you for normal things that people do and walking on eggshells around him, go right ahead. But I'm telling you, you will never have a balanced relationship with this guy. What he is doing is not right.

 

I think maybe you should keep your distance from this guy. You broke up with him for a reason. Keep it that way.

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