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Me and my ex communitcating again...


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Okay so I sent my ex a facebook message on business (I can't go into much detail other than he is the only one who can do it) and on my parent's will. He answered the question and then started a conversation with me through this "thread." I have a hard time ending converations and it went on for a good week and a half before I just stopped repling.

 

Then I found out he had been talking to my sister and giving her very good and helpful avice on some boy issues she'd been having that are really sketchy. I went to im him to thank him, but he never replied back. I had to go so I was just lke "nvm lol I'll cya around" and signed off. Then he texted me to ask what was up. I told him nothing and said I had to leave to go to a party. He showed up at that same party ditching his routine Sat. night bball. I know this because they showed up later and asked him where he'd been.

 

Since then we've had a few text conversation, some stated by me and some started by him. I'm usually the one to end them and even if I try not responding he sometimes restarts the conversation.

 

I wanna say he just wants to be friends again, but its what I came accross when I found out about him and my sister that makes me not sure. I was reading her ims (I know, slap my wrist) and she invited him over and he responded somewhere along the lines of "you're cool and all but I'd much rather be with your sister but she's at work and that's not happening" and the he was talking about how he was such a jerk and a terrible person to his girlfriends.

 

So I don't really know the point of this but it does make me feel better. I guess I wanna know if I should try to stop these kinda of communications or if they're a healthy part of becoming friends after a break up (it was in november)

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As long as you're comfortable with the communication, and he is comfortable with the communication, AND you're both on the same page concerning what that communication means, exactly--then sure, it can be a healthy part of restoring a friendship after a breakup.

 

The problem is that you're not just taking communication between yourself and him into consideration--you've gone so far as to look at his communication with other people. And that's where it gets confusing. If you'd left it at the facebook conversation with just the two of you, would you be analyzing it so much? Or is it just because you're trying to interpret what he was saying to your sister?

 

If you want to communicate with him as a friend, the healthy way to do it is to talk as friends occasionally (or whatever makes you comfortable), and not to go searching into what he's saying to other people. Otherwise, you start reading too much into things and it becomes complicated.

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Okay I think I get what you're saying. But yeah, it wasn't that I was just getting into his conversations with other people but it was the content of it with my sister...she was heading (or is headed I'm not sure) on a dangerous path for a 15 year old and he was obviously trying to steer her in the right direction....

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