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Online dating


girlie219

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I'm thinking of trying online dating because I'm very busy and don't come accross new people very often. I've been looking at a dating site in particular that I have heard is good. The problem is, after browsing on it I saw my next door neighbour on there! He's quite good friends with my housemate, and to be honest if I was on there I wouldn't want to tell people that's what I'm doing.

 

Is it worth paying to go on a dating site if you don't put a photo up?

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I have done match and ehamony and had GREAT experiences.

I'm sure your neighbor wouldn't want your housemates to know he's on it either, so once you get on, you can send him a cute email, "I won't tell if you don't tell" or something like that. Good luck and enjoy!!

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I think you should put a picture up if you are paying. As a guy, if I don't see a picture, I assume the worst, and it takes a really well written and interesting rest of the profile to keep me from immediately moving on. I know, it's shallow...just another of my many flaws.

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As a guy, if I don't see a picture, I assume the worst, and it takes a really well written and interesting rest of the profile to keep me from immediately moving on. I know, it's shallow...just another of my many flaws.

 

I don't think you're being shallow here imo. Pretty stupid to go online dating without a photo, even if people will always assume it's not a true rep of yourself.

 

This is one of my worries about online dating too. I don't want anyone (friends/family) to know.

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I think we increase our own embarassment by "not wanting anyone to know" or not telling anyone. At my work, people talked about their online dating pretty openly and it wasn't a shameful or desperate thing which I think helped a lot. If it's a secret you're trying to keep, imagine how that will add to your stress level. One guy I saw on match wrote, jokingly, "How will we tell people we met?"....I'm sure he was just being light hearted, but I don't see the need to keep it top-secret from my friends or family.

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If you were dating the "old fashioned" way, one of the quickest ways to meet potential dates was to tell people you knew (family, friends, co-workers) that you were single/looking. They would then let you know about their single brother, cousin, son, grandson, nephew, neighbor, guy they know at church (if you were female) or the female equivilents if you were male - who they thought might be a good fit with you.

 

Now we have an electronic option that doesn't require us to have a huge, real life network of family, friends, coworkers, etc. in order to meet a wide variety of other (presumably) single & available folks quickly.

 

Other than perhaps not wanting co-workers to know (...because work is work and personal is personal and the two things should be kept separate as much as possible...), I can't see why other people knowing is a concern at all. In fact, I think you can speed up the process of finding a good potential mate by using ALL the options available to you -- the old offline methods and the new-fangled technological methods.

 

FWIW, I met my collection of screwball exes in "normal" ways -- the alcoholic's brother was dating a friend of mine and the cheatin' ex I met at a social gathering of folks with a common interest.

 

My husband? Met him online. He's a better match for me than any of the "normally met" exes ever were or ever could be.

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I'm thinking of trying online dating because I'm very busy and don't come accross new people very often. I've been looking at a dating site in particular that I have heard is good. The problem is, after browsing on it I saw my next door neighbour on there! He's quite good friends with my housemate, and to be honest if I was on there I wouldn't want to tell people that's what I'm doing.

 

Is it worth paying to go on a dating site if you don't put a photo up?

 

Not posting a photo will really limit your prospects on a dating site. Most people want to get a feel of what someone looks like - and to see if there's a bit of initial physical attraction - before investing time writing back n' forth.

 

I don't know if eHarmony's format interests you, but you'll probably have the least chance of running into your neighbor on there, since no one can randomly browse everyone's profile on there.

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I don't think you're being shallow here imo. Pretty stupid to go online dating without a photo, even if people will always assume it's not a true rep of yourself.

 

This is one of my worries about online dating too. I don't want anyone (friends/family) to know.

 

My thoughts exactly, it becomes an issue when you run into someone you know on a dating site. I don't want my housemates finding out

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Yeah, when I was on match, I saw that some guy who was a friend of my ex viewed me... funny, he was always sitting next to me in the cafe, and we would just nod hello. seems like kind of socially awkward, anyways, it was uncomfortable to know he saw me there.

 

just so you know- a free site is okcupid. There aren't as many options, but it is well done, and I've had one date on there, and there are four guys on there right now I will probably meet with in the near future.

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I think you should put a picture up if you are paying. As a guy, if I don't see a picture, I assume the worst, and it takes a really well written and interesting rest of the profile to keep me from immediately moving on. I know, it's shallow...just another of my many flaws.

 

that's not shallow. for me to ever trust online dating, i'd have to see several pictures. i still refuse to do online dating though.

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