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Friends talk bad about you to women.


Symbolic

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So heres the story. Recently I was in a car, at work, with my co-workers / friends. We pick up this girl to give her a ride ( I work on airplanes theres alot of driving around and such). We have done this a few times. And every time, is when my co workers begin to talk crap about me. They bring out all my faults as a person. Only when the girls get in the car.

 

Why? Are they threatened by me? I don't know what the deal is. The thing is its always been like this. I've had "friends" in highschool that did the same thing. I have some other friends that do it, even as far as to talk crap about me on world of warcraft when we are talking to girls.

 

Please don't tell me to get new friends. I'm at a point where my only friends are people I work with. Its hard to make friends in an area where the first 2 questions are "whats your name, and what church do you go to?" And I'm an atheist and I have been shunned by religious people before so I have had failed friendships because people think I'm a devil worshipper lol.

 

So I just wonder, why do guys do this? I usually just shrug it off. They are like, trying to sabotage me, and prevent me from getting girls? Even if I have no interest in her whatsoever? I just don't get it, I would never do such a thing.

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Could it be they are just trying to get a rise out of you..that they are just teasing you. If they really felt you were horrible they would spit poison about you behind your back, not right in front of your face. I think they are just being immature guys who are hoping to get the girls for themself.

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I have found that guys tease each other like that most often. I remember hearing ONE guy say something really nice about his friend one time and it struck me how kind that was, given that I most often hear all the rousing. Anyways, the girl is probably not going to take stock in what your friend teases you about infront of you. If he's "warning" her about you behind closed doors, that's another story. She probably just thinks you have a brotherly friendship

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They are deliberately being jerks in front of females while I am there. Theres nothing bad about me personality-wise. I'm just lazy sometimes, or I have a hard to remembering peoples names, or stupid crap like that, they pick it up and spam it out to the girls for them to know. Why?

 

They are trying to get a rise out of me? sure. Do they talk about me behind my back? No I'm pretty sure if they talk crap its to my face. They are messing with me, its seemingly harmless, but the fact they do it in front of girls is what bothers me. I would never introduce any of my co workers/guy friends to a girl im interested in EVER.

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Then say something to them, whethere it's infront of the girls or privately. Tell them you think it's uncool and that you wouldn't do that to them. I know you don't want to dump all your friends at this point in your life which is understandable. At the same time, the mid-20s are when you can learn alot about yourself and make friends you can really trust in a crisis or with your potential girlfriends. It sounds like they're immature but it also sounds like you're not really interested in making new friends that you might be able to trust more...??

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I have friends I could trust back home. But that is about 2 years away from now lol. But regardless of whether or not I get new friends, these are people I work with, and will be stuck working with for the next 2 years also.

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Okay, so you want to stay friends with them and you don't want to introduce them to women you're interested in. So, keep the 2 things separate. Guy time and girl time. If you really want to solve the root problem, you'll have to confront them or get better friends. If you want to avoid the issue, keep the 2 things in their own boxes.

I've had friends at work and friends outside of work and fallouts with both kinds of friends. In the end, it doesn't effect work so much and if our fallout was about respecting our own boundaries or healthy doses of self-respect, we got over it.

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Ugh, I hate these type of guy friends. They're generally normal, but suddenly become really obnoxious in front of women and it can get embarassing when they start throwing sex jokes. And it's particularly terrible if the women are uncomfortable with it.

 

If you still want to hang out with them when you take a girl, you'll have to call out on their acts. Some might admit their faults and improve their behavior...but others probably won't.

 

I've learned though, that it's better to keep these type of friends separate from your women affairs. And you know what, I actually end up better that way. Once you have a stronger relationship with the girl, you can slowly introduce her to other friends to parties or something.

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