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How to make up for lost time.


aint_no
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This has been bothering me for a while and I didn't know where else to vent. I'm in my early 30's and have recently been really bothered that I haven't dated much.

 

I had really bad acne in high school and I felt so ugly that it seemed like dating was not in my reality. The acne cleared up in college where I met and dated someone for about 4 years.

 

Then around my mid-twenties I started developing gaps between my teeth. Fixing it was going to require braces and surgery, which I did not want as an adult...so I delayed getting my teeth fixed. So basically I was at bars and parties covering my teeth and not talking to any females because I felt like their was no point.

 

I finally decided to do something about my teeth a few years ago and now that I am almost done with my braces, I've moved onto my next problem with my looks. My hair is noticeably thinning and don't know how much more time I have left having a full head of hair. I am afraid this will now keep me from being myself and really talking to women.

 

Anyway, I can't help but think that if none of these defects were making me insecure, the amount of relationships I could have enjoyed, instead of being mostly alone throughout my 20's. Which is probably the peak in dating/sex life.

 

Here's my question, the people that did have a lot of relationships in the past, do they make you feel better now that you are older? Like you had your fun and even though you may be alone now, those memories make it better? Or does being alone now sucks no matter how much you've dated in the past?

 

Do you think you can settle down without sewing those wild oats?

 

Also, there seems to be two kinds of people in the world. People who are always in relationships and those who are never in relationships. Do you think it's easy to change that or it's in the person's nature?

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Its good that you are doing things to increase your self confidence. Self confidence is key when someone wants to venture out into the dating world. As far as thinning hair goes, I know a lot of men in their mid to late 20's who are bald or nearly there, they keep their hair trimmed really short, and they seem to do fine.

 

Being alone is not always fun. Singledom would occassionally bother me, but I really dont mind it. There is still lots to do and you ger more time to hang with friends.

 

As far as there being the two kinds of people, I dont know that I agree with that. I think there are just as many people out there, who have a relationships occassionally. I think that it doesnt have anything to do with a person's nature. I think it has everything to do with having confidence and knowing who you are, and knowing that you are worth finding someone who wants to be in a relationship with you.

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I had acne really bad when I was young as well. I know how damaging that can be, luckily mine cleared up with heavy medication and left no scarring. Anyway, I am one of those that have always been in a relationship (except for 1 year) and being alone now sucks. I love having someone in my life. So, take comfort in that just because you think you missed out on having relationships it's just as painful for those of us who have had relationships and now are single.

Get out there man and meet some women. Don't waste another second...I will see you out there.

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