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Fighting the urge.


Sarjunt

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Oh man, I'm sitting here, and it's been a week since we last texted, and i told you to stop. but you never did. but now you have. i actually am suprised you did stop. you treated me so horrible, you left me when i needed you the most. you turned your back on our "family". and you have left me abandon in a place that was once ours.

 

everyday i look at the door, expecting a knock, or the buzzer to go off and hear "i am so sorry". because it has in the past. proving that i shouldn't want it to happen, because you've done this before. i always had your back. i never left your side. i was your number one fan, and you left me.

 

through-out your life, you have burnt bridges, and left people hurt, and never understand that it's your fault.

 

why do i want this in my life?

 

but right now, i feel the urge to pick up that phone just to let you know what you did to me, how you left me holding the bag.

 

i feel like running my mouth, and you texting me would open the door for me to do it. and since you haven't, i am fighting the urge to open it myself.

 

why am i doing this to myself????

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it's complicated. trust me. but i am going out. i just cannot shake that feeling in the back of my head. it's horrible. it was 4 years and then one day that was it. i cannot believe it still. i really feel the need to tell her how i feel. but i think silence speaks volumes. hopefully it irritates her, i hope it grinds her.

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yeah. all time that we shared together. Gone. Just walked out like that. it was my first relationship so it's really hard for me. Also my lifestyle is more like codependent. I went through hell. But now...i am in a better place. Just working on myself and trying to push out all the bad thoughts. screw him ....i will get someone new.

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yeah. all time that we shared together. Gone. Just walked out like that. it was my first relationship so it's really hard for me. Also my lifestyle is more like codependent. I went through hell. But now...i am in a better place. Just working on myself and trying to push out all the bad thoughts. screw him ....i will get someone new.

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yeah. all time that we shared together. Gone. Just walked out like that. it was my first relationship so it's really hard for me. Also my lifestyle is more like codependent. I went through hell. But now...i am in a better place. Just working on myself and trying to push out all the bad thoughts. screw him ....i will get someone new.

 

I know how you feel. This recent ex is my first real and long-term relationship (lasted 7 years). It sucks to be left in the dark out of the blue but you know what, I never thought I'd wake up feeling better. Of course it took many months for me to get to this mental state and I am still getting better each day. I don't care what my ex does now. It doesn't bother me as much as it did before. He's 30 and choosing to hang out with high school kids. Something is wrong with him. Hopefully one day he'll look back and reflect on this. He truly is an evil person. He doesn't deserve me. He's a liar and a cheat. You and I will find love again and it will be better and sweeter than these two a-holes.

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it's been a rough one man. really rough. i have good days, and I have bad days. and I can only think that shes out having the time of her life. smiling, not a care in the world. so i would assume. it's been alittle over a month, and it sucks. and i cannot get it out of my head.

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