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What signs are she giving me?


nycsker
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Can anyone give me a good read on what this means and what I should do next?

 

A few nights ago, my ex and I got together. She, by the way, has been the "silent one" and also the one that has held the most power since the breakup. She seems very happy to be on her own, or so she makes it seem.

 

After 30 days of NC, I met up with her about a week ago, but we got into an argument and she told me she would NEVER get back together with me, so the other night was a last ditch effort to get along at least as friends.

 

I showed up looking good, but not like I was trying too hard, apologized for the argument very sincerely, then played it totally loose and took her to a funny movie for a lighthearted end to the night.

 

When we got to the movie theater, I sat two seats away from her out of respect for the fact that I told her we should start at zero and be friends, period. She acted like she didn't notice, started eating her popcorn, then after just a few minutes got back up and went to the bathroom (strange, since we had just passed the bathroom on the way there), leaving her popcorn on her current seat. When she returned, she left the popcorn in the seat she was on, and sat in the seat next to me. I was like, "hmmm"...but didn't do anything or act like I noticed. I never touched her, laughed my ass off at the movie (as did she), just enjoyed the moment.

 

We left the theater and were still lighthearted. I asked her if I could grab her a cab (we live in NYC) and she said no, maybe she'd walk with me for a few blocks. When we got just outside my apartment, I grabbed her a cab, and as she got in we both turned to give the traditional NY kiss on the cheek...she seemed to go for the lips for a second, but I went directly for the cheek, so she veered off course and went for the cheek as well. Said good night, that was it.

 

So, was she giving me signs? Since that night, she has never initiated contact, and I texted her once, to which she replied in a friendly manner, but not overly flirty. What should I think of all this? It's extremely confusing, since I've been the one without the power to this point. I don't know if I should initiate contact again.

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Yeah Savignon, I get your point, but this was after several months of her being the "cold" one in the relationship, and she made it very clear we would never be a couple again. Now, I could take that as a real statement (which I'm inclined to do at this point) or I can believe that she's saying it only as a way to comfort herself in a time when she is unsure...that saying she'll never be with me again really means she's TRYING to move on, but hasn't quite yet. Anyway, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and decided to treat it like a friendship, but those signs were a little off-kilter for the situation. What do you think?

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Hi nycsker,

 

Nice move sitting two seats away, whether it was intentional or not, you became a bit of a challenge to her and she responded by sitting right next to you on her return, which is a definite buying signal.

 

Don't be overly eager to see her if she does initiate contact again, or she will know you are just sitting around waiting for her to come back, further empowering her.

 

Frank

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R u kidding me?? Nice move sitting two seats away?? I would have thought * * * ...this guy is so playing games...u obviously still have feelings for her and she knows this...and u sit two seats from her??? That is childish!!! U sit next to ur friends in the movie theat...I have NEVER sat two seats from someone!!! Sorry...but I just think u could have played it cool and sat next to her

 

I think dont analyze...if she broke up w u....let her come to u...but in experience...even if an ex does make an effort..doesnt mean squat...at least w me it didnt...my ex wanted to go out for dinner and drinks w me and keep in touch after we broke up....but it just led to more dinner and drinks, movies at his place, ordering food in etc...and a whole lotta nothing! Now I told him I dont want to be friends and we shouldnt hang out bc its not leading anywhere..and we are not talking...almost two weeks

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Thanks Frank...the more I move away from that night the more I feel I did it right. Coco, I totally understand your point of view but Frank gets it...guys, when they go to the theater together, usually sit with a seat buffer in the middle bc, well, if it's not packed, why not take advantage of the space? It's normal and I have done the same with female friends. I know this girl very well (two years in a relationship) and the fact that after the movie she wanted to "walk with me" instead of getting a cab right away was definitely surprising. She's very tough, and when she's not in the mood to spend time with someone, she'll bolt at the first chance. The reason I brought this to the forum was to see if anyone had any insights that I wasn't seeing...my only thought at this point is that she was doing it bc she's happy to be "buddies," and I'm willing to accept that. However, if she's making a move of any kind, I'd like to at least be aware of it. Thanks to all for your thoughts. Any insight is appreciated.

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I believe a woman's actions speak louder than their words. Her words say we will never be together again. Her actions AT MINIMUM say you two can be good friends. My personal thought is that you did the right thing.

 

Watch her motions. If she is moving toward you (whether emotionally, verbally or physically) keep doing what you're doing. In your case, verbally she has moved away from you, but her actions that night say she is moving toward you emotionally and physically. Take it slowly. Touch base with her soon, but keep it light.

 

I would avoid talking about the relationship. Act like you just met her and are trying to develop a relationship with her. What did you do back then? Do it again. Have fun and keep things light and I think you're chances will be better. Just my .02 worth.

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