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what does this mean...


goodkarma_1

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Hello everyone—

 

I just wanted to get some advice here. For the past 1.5 yr I’ve been going through a really, really tough breakup (8 yr relationship). It has defiantly been the hardest obstacle I’ve undergone in my life so far. I’ve gone through all the emotions and now I feel I’ve finally reached the point where I am somewhat happy and relieved and fine with being by myself - i mean it sucks, but I know that happiness needs to come from myself first. Anyhow, recently I met a guy that I was instantly attracted to and I felt that he was attracted to me as well. I didn’t date all that much during that time of “healing”, I tried but I just felt that I would never be attracted to someone else other than my ex. So me and this new guy hit it off since the very beginning. He would always call to just say hello and would always invite to dinner/movies etc. He wasnt shy to be affectionate in public and when we’re alone but lately this past week he’s been really stand offish. He doesn’t text or call as often – its like hes gone from hot to cold all of a sudden. He is an ative person, works 5 days a week and is in the process of buying a house so I dont know if thats whats getting in the way - but no matter what if he really does like me he would take the time out for me.

I’m taking it a bit hard since the break has damaged my self esteem – just feels like no one wants me or would take me serious no matter how hard I try. I dont know..I feel like I’ve done something to turn him off somehow. I’ve come a long way and would like to finally be happy and share life with someone again. So your opinion, did he just lose interest? Its only been a month since we met so maybe its still soon (i kno)…I’m not a psycho/stalker or anything lol just trying to figure out what’s going through his mind and his intentions and if i shouldnt bother anymore. It’s a blow to the ego but I will cut it off with him – hell I’ve been through worse…

 

Thanks for listening..

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It could be a number of reasons. He might just be busy, he might have met someone else. Why don't you ask him to hang out when you know he's free and see what happens? If he gives a crappy excuse then he's probably lost interest.

 

Also, do you always let him initiate everything? We know he was interested in you before, unless you did or said something majorly wrong in his book, I don't see why it would suddenly change. Maybe he wants you to initiate this time.

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No i havent done anything majorly but be myself. He was always initiating to go somewhere more so than me. He would also make future plans with me and invite me to go hang out with his sister on trips and such and its like lately (this wk) he doesnt call all much or even text where as before he did often. And I'm not a clingy person as it is...I just feel that something is going on. Ya maybe he has met someone else idk. The other night he was jsut asking if we still want to see eachother how how do i feel about that. I dont know why he would ask that unless hes jsut a smooth talker.. Thanks for the advice

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I initate what movies i want to see or places i want to go - i know he knows that I'm interested in him. We were in conversation just the other night about it and I told him that Im interested and he expressed the same. ughhh this is why i HATE dating Thanks

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I understand what you are saying...I'm coming accross as the one that isnt showing any interested but I DO show..he knows it. Ive asked him to do stuff. I know its more 70/30 right now and its confusing me. I want to leave it alone but at the same time I dont know if i should still keep calling him or text. I'm a bit stubborn and I hate to do this so if you all think its a waste of time becuase he has seemed to check out than let me kno..

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call him up, see what he's up to, invite him out, if not have a backup day you'd like to spend time with him. if he still declines you tell him to contact you when he has free time and wants to do something. then you can evaluate if you want anything further with him.

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yaa thats a good idea. I will do that to see what he does. Well get this...hes going away for the weekend to the lake and he mentioned that he wanted to see me last night if i didnt get off work to late before he leaves for his vacation. All day yesterday no call or text....he worked yesterday and had to still pack but at least he couldve let me know that im packing and ill see you when i get back but nada. I feel like he blew me off becuase the weekend or maybe becuase he didnt want to tell me he didnt have time after inviting....what do you think...jerk?? hehe

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Just a word about something I wish someone would have told me early in my life: sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

 

Seriously. Don't pick that thing. Pursuit, confrontations, questioning--it can wad things up into a ball of friction that otherwise wouldn't need to cause the barrier it becomes. It's a clumsy state where two people hyper-react to the others' slightest sound or movement. It spells disaster unless you let go of any need for instant 'fixing'.

 

I'd ride this out by backing off and letting him work out his whatevers. He knows how to reach you. When you last spoke you were on good terms. Stop taking the temperature of the thing constantly, and just pull your focus into other things for a while.

 

Best strategy I've ever found for letting people find their own better mood in which consider me in a better light. This can only happen by heeding caution signals. Patience. You'll thank yourself later.

 

In your corner.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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