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Seeking Relationship Help from anyone


user1999

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Well I guess I'm new here and I didnt know where to seek advice so I am gonna try here. Lets start from the beginning. I have been with my current girlfriend for 6 1/2 years. We meet online and hooked up. Our relationship developed and it was nothing but good times. It had its ups and downs, but then an old girlfriend of mine had written a letter that she found. She got upset and angry about, nor do I blame her I was the idiot that tolerated that. She also had to put up with me flirting with a coworker that she found out about and then yelled at the co-worker. And other things like telling someone they were nice looking. Now to start the next part I know I am selfish and I have already come to that point to accept that. About 9 months ago I meet a co-worker and one day we decided to hang out at her place. We smoked a little and before I know she kissed me. I got lost in the moment and when she asked if I had a girlfriend I lied. Well I was still see the girl that I have been with for 6 1/2 years. Somehow I was able to continue both relationships up until now. One girl found out about the other and everything fell apart. Now I am asking for help on what should I do, I know its only up to me but I just need some guidance or something. I have told both girls I love them and I meant that. Now I have to choose between the girl that Ive known for 6 1/2 years or the co-worker ive known for 9 months. Let me reaffirm that I know I'm an idiot and I have no idea why i did what I did. I never seemed unhappy with the girlfriend of 6 1/2 years. Any Feedback from anyone?

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Take some time to yourself and decide which girl you'd rather be with and then make a commitment. This is assuming either one of them would take you back. You can't tell them both the same thing and 'see who wants you' beforehand. That's sleezy and mean and it would only add to how badly you feel about yourself.

Do something that will help you gain your own self-respect back. (This is assuming you really actually think you did something wrong and think poorly of yourself at the moment).

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I do feel bad about it, I feel horrible that now I have to break one of their hearts and that tears me up inside. Both of them have said they were willing to wipe the slate clean and start over (wish I am really luck and grateful for that). I just dont know how to come to terms that I have to break one of their hears that what makes my decision so hard.

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You could very well end of losing both of them. Even if one of them wanted to try to make a go of it with you, I think the big issue is, would she trust you?

 

I would stand back and take some time for myself right now, since I don't see how a relationship with either one of them could be something that would last very long, after all this has happened.

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I have told both girls I love them and I meant that.

 

You don't love both of them, if you did you wouldn't cheat on them, live a double-life, and lie about you being in a relationship. A pretty girl kissed you and all you wanted at that point was sex.

 

I suggest going solo for a while until you mature enough to have a committed relationship or at the very least learn to not let your penis overrule your head.

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If either of these girls were to stay with you, they'd never trust you again. And how could you love both of them? Sounds to me like you were only thinking of yourself.

 

Go to counselling, and if you don't find the right counsellor right away, keep trying different ones until you feel comfortable with. Until you get your head on straight, you'll never be any good for anyone.

 

I am speaking from experience, not just winging it here. I was the "other" girl in a relationship once.

 

Trust me and do what I suggest, and life will be good again someday.

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They both want you back? You dated your gf for 6 1/2 yrs, then cheated for 9 months, lived a double life - and she wants you back? You had a new gf for 9 months and she found out you've been in a relationship with someone for years - and she also wants you back?

 

Wow? Where do you find these girls?

 

My suggestion is to go solo for quite a while as well. This is messed up. You cannot love them IMO. Is this how you treat people you love? You should reconsider, I think people who love you deserve better.

 

Perhaps after a while one of these relationship can be salavage, but..

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