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The concept of not having regrets


Celadon

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Often I'll hear people say that they have absolutely no regrets in their lives because they've learned from every experience they've had, even the bad things. They say they wouldn't change a thing because every experience has contributed to who they are today.

 

Do you agree? If so, why? If not, why not?

 

I don't actually feel the same way. I firmly believe that if some things in my life had happened differently (such as my getting guidance at a certain point in my life), my life would probably be better now. And how would someone who has battled an addiction most of their lives really be able to say that they're glad they went through that experience?

 

Hm.....

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I will always have regrets in my life because there will always be things I have never done.

 

I will never experience music the same way a professional violinist has.

 

I will never experience the feeling of that big punch. Knowing you just hit your opponent in the soft spot.

 

I will never experience the rush of being amongst the wall street bull pen.

 

No matter what path in life I choose, there will be a billion experiences that I haven't had. A trillion point of views that I didn't get the chance to understand. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

 

My biggest regret is not living longer.

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Nope. No regrets for me. I made a vow many many years ago to live my life with no regrets. So, I take chances, I gamble, and I'm never afraid to go after what I want. I've done everything that I've wanted to do with my life. I feel accomplished and fulfilled. I have short term and long term goals that I set for myself and I work my butt off to achieve them. Hence, no regrets, I've gotten all that I've wanted, and my sense of accomplishment. I've had many many great opportunities in life and I've taken every damn one of them..lol! I dont think that I would do anything differently as I love the person that I am and every step throughout my life has made me even better.

 

Now, if I were born on the streets to drug addict parents and didnt have the advantages and parental support that I have through my whole life, my outlook and opinons would be wayyyy different.

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I don't buy into that. My ex claimed to live by that quote. I thought to myself: "You never regret breaking someone's heart? Never regret saying hurtful or nasty things to someone?"

 

Nope. There was a reason for the breakup. And if I said something mean and nasty, then I meant it. I cant regret it if I meant it. I can be sorry for hurting someone's feelings, but still no regrets.

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Nope. There was a reason for the breakup. And if I said something mean and nasty, then I meant it. I cant regret it if I meant it. I can be sorry for hurting someone's feelings, but still no regrets.

 

So you never have one of those emotional moments where you express something in an overreactive way? You've never told someone "I F-ing HATE YOU" when all you meant to say was you were upset with the person? Never taken advantage of someone?

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I feel like regret is too strong of a word and it implies some sort of hang up. When I think back about how I treated some people, I do feel bad and that if I could do it again, wouldn't have. But I don't dwell on it because it doesn't help. That's why I say I don't feel regret for anything. Clearly, if I didn't do it, I wouldn't have the insight I have today. Plus, you just have to move on with life. Yes, it was a mistake, but no I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore than I already have and think about what-ifs for the rest of my life. Life is too short...

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So you never have one of those emotional moments where you express something in an overreactive way? You've never told someone "I F-ing HATE YOU" when all you meant to say was you were upset with the person?

 

At that exact moment in time, I DID f-ing hate them. Cant regret that. 5 minutes later I may love them again. cant regret that either.

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I feel like regret is too strong of a word and it implies some sort of hang up. When I think back about how I treated some people, I do feel bad and that if I could do it again, wouldn't have. But I don't dwell on it because it doesn't help. That's why I say I don't feel regret for anything. Clearly, if I didn't do it, I wouldn't have the insight I have today. Plus, you just have to move on with life. Yes, it was a mistake, but no I'm not going to feel bad about it anymore than I already have and think about what-ifs for the rest of my life. Life is too short...

 

Perfectly said!

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People that say they have no regrets aren't being honest with themselves. Everyone has regrets. Those that deny those regrets are living a lie. If you get into a car accident and someone is injured and it is your fault are you telling me there will be no regrets? I doubt it.

If we live our lives being honest(true honesty) with ourselves we will have regrets. Those that hurt others and say they don't regret it either have no conscious or they are not honest with themselves because they cannot face what they are.

 

I have regrets.....

 

Lost

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At that exact moment in time, I DID f-ing hate them. Cant regret that. 5 minutes later I may love them again. cant regret that either.

 

So everything you've done was 100% honest, all the time? What about lying to someone, or taking advantage of them?

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So everything you've done was 100% honest, all the time? What about lying to someone, or taking advantage of them?

 

I"ve done both and I dont regret it. I've learned from every experience that I've had, both good and bad. I've made ALOT of mistakes in my life and I will continue to make them, I'm sure, but I dont even regret my mistakes. They helped form and shape the person that I am. I've gotten myself into some crazy situations, but sitting around feeling sorry for myself and "regretting" everything in my life isnt going to get me anywhere, but DEPRESSED. So, I chalk my mistakes and wrongdoings up to life's learning experiences and I go on.

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So everything you've done was 100% honest, all the time? What about lying to someone, or taking advantage of them?

 

I think what she means is that at the time of making decisions, she always made the decision she wanted. And therefore since she always did what she wanted, there is no regret in that. She does what she thinks is best at the time, with the given knowledge/feelings/circumstances and later there are no regrets.

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I know, and I get where catdancer is coming from, but I'm wondering if the definition of regret varies from person to person, because I regret things, but I surely don't sit around feeling sorry for myself as a result of that regret. If anything I feel bad for having hurt the other person. I wish things would have been different and I learn from the experience, but that doesn't mean I can't regret it.

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I know, and I get where catdancer is coming from, but I'm wondering if the definition of regret varies from person to person, because I regret things, but I surely don't sit around feeling sorry for myself as a result of that regret. If anything I feel bad for having hurt the other person. I wish things would have been different and I learn from the experience, but that doesn't mean I can't regret it.

 

I think that we all perceive "regrets" differently. As I said before, I feel sorry and apologetic for hurting someone, but I dont "regret" it per se, as I did what I wanted at the time and remained true to myself.

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I see. I was just curious how different people think differently about things and what makes them think that way. Just like my marriage thread yesterday.

 

So I don't want you to think I was trying to back you into a corner, catdancer.

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I see. I was just curious how different people think differently about things and what makes them think that way. Just like my marriage thread yesterday.

 

So I don't want you to think I was trying to back you into a corner, catdancer.

 

No problems and no regrets! lol

 

As I stated in my first post...I know that if I had grown up differently without the support, parents, and life that I had, my opinions would be different. If I were an alcoholic junkie living on the streets, I would probably have some regrets. lol

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I believe that people who say that they have no regrets are the ones who place blame on others for everything that wrong in their own lives.

 

And I believe that those who dwell on the wrong things that they do in their lives are incredibly unhappy and depressed.

 

Hey..what do you know...we're BOTH wrong!

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I think that we all perceive "regrets" differently. As I said before, I feel sorry and apologetic for hurting someone, but I dont "regret" it per se, as I did what I wanted at the time and remained true to myself.

 

lol! yes, exactly. It has nothing to do with not having a conscience or not being honest.

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I have regret for hurting other people, but I don't regret what I've done to myself in the past. (Drugs, sex, etc)

 

They made me turn out stronger and gain more perspective about life through different lenses. I do agree though, that some people use the "no regret" excuse to be an ass to other people and blame them for the outcomes instead of being honest with themselves.

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Many of the decisions I have made in life, have in fact made my life harder. But with each struggle or strife I have gained a new perspective and respect for life. Yeah I have made a ton of bad decisions. Every dark time in my life helped me see the light... and I don't mean that in a religious sense. How can one I resent the path for not being birthed at the destination?

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I believe in no regrets. I have lived my life the best way I knew how and I don't regret it. I wouldn't go back and change anything. I don't live in the past. I think a lot of regret is not forgiving yourself for the decisions that you made, but most of the time you made those decisions with the best information that you had at the time.

 

Now, that being said, I haven't accidently killed anybody or run over somebody's beloved pet. I've not done anything so horrible that a simple apology did not correct it. When something like that happens, I may change my mind about regret.

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