Havent heard from him and not sure if hes leading me on

[MisPriss04]

I met this guy about a month ago and he completely persued me. The first time he tried to see me I actually blew him off and didnt see him until the next day. Since then we have hung out regularly (about 3 times a week) and absolutely hit it off. Relationships ususally take me a while to get into the "happy honeymoon" stage and especailly since we are not officially dating its all a little new to me. We have a healthy distance and do a lot of texting and he is very affectionate. He is always telling me how amazing I am, how much he misses me and how much he likes me. But sometimes I text him and he never responds.

 

(As a side note...about a week or so ago he had said we shouldnt see each other bc he wasnt able to be in a serious relationship right now and he knew that but his feelings for me were growing very fast...but it didnt last and he later said he regreted ever telling me that...and I forgave him but now I second guess the things he says and feel like hes going to tell me that again any time I dont hear from him)

 

For instance the lastest incident was yesterday. I saw him the night before last and after he left he texted me saying he missed me already and wished we could hang out more but i was already asleep. So I just text him back the next morning and we chit chat and he says how much he misses me and to have a good day. I didnt text him anymore that day and later that night I texted "hi" and he never responded. I texted about 5 minutes later and asked "what ya doin?" and still no response. He works nights and I know he always has his phone so I just feel ignored. He does this sometimes and it just confuses me...I get spurts of constant affirmation and communication and then poof hes gone. Some people say that its no big deal he may be busy...and then others think, how can you be so busy that you can't text back the person you are interested it? But its just weird to me. I dont know how serious I can take him...i know he doesnt want a serious relationship and neither do i...but I would like to know that things people say are genuine regardless...Advice?

[savignon]

It seems like a lot of 'new relationship' conflict is around texting. Maybe just agree to text a good-morning or a good-night and other than that stick to regular conversations to avoid any misunderstandings.

[Scorpion Fury]

People get busy. I hate it when people text me and get mad when I don't respond.

 

And why can't he have a serious relationship? Sorry, but I think if a guy likes you enough, he'll find a way to have a relationship, even if he "can't".

[free2Bme]

You can't base a relationship around texting.

 

And I would also like to know why he says he isn't ready for a relationship?

[MisPriss04]

I'll try to explain a little more about the situation. Hopefully no one judges I just got out of a relationship about 3 months ago and really wanted to stay single for a while to clear out my head and focus on myself. The guy I met was through mutual friends and he is going through a divorce. We hit it off and everything but both of us know that we needed to take it slow. He is just now getting used to being single and I didnt want to rush into something without giving him a chance to get himself together first. He also doesnt want to jump from a marraige right into a relationship. This is why we trying to stop talking. But there is crazy chemistry and things click...timing is just off I guess. We text a lot because our work schedules are different. He works night and I work days...so there is a lot of sleeping going on while the other is at work and only a small window of time where we are both not doing anything.

 

Thanks for your responses so far!

[ghost69]

what is the question exactly?

 

what i see is if this guy is as into you as he says, he isn't playing the part...so, i'd say at times when he feels emotional or needs some stimuli he contacts you and gets all lovey dovey. it probably makes him feel better knowing there is another person out there into him.

 

i wouldn't put up with wishy washy behavior. if he's this distraught about his divorce and such and it isn't something you want to deal with (the back and forth attitude), i'd break it off. i know i wouldn't do this.

[MisPriss04]

The question is basically is it weird that I havent heard from him after the last conversation we had being about how much he misses me? I've asked two friends and one of them says chill out it hasnt been that long maybe he was busy or something and the other says that he has had time to text regardless of being busy.

 

Its annoying to hear how much someone likes you and then not hear from them for a while. I'm just used to him saying something through the day, even if its a "hi" and I dont know if I should text him again with something simple or just leave him alone?

[guitargirl1607308056]

Its annoying to hear how much someone likes you and then not hear from them for a while. I'm just used to him saying something through the day, even if its a "hi" and I dont know if I should text him again with something simple or just leave him alone?

 

I'd leave him alone. He keeps saying how much he misses you, so give him time to do just that. And like ghost said, the wishy washy stuff is nonsense. No one needs/deserves that.

[goodkarma_1]

ha! I am in the same predicament right now too! I jsut posted awhile ago about the same thing.

 

I dont know what to say...its like one minute the person is hot than the next minute they are cold. It is confusing. But you know what? ..if a person REALLY likes you they are on the mind all the time...the would take time to text or call no matter what or where. I think about myself and what i do...there are guys that i dont care for - when i see that text or call come in sometimes i dont answer or respond becuase idk..jsut not interested or excites me to see that. I mean i will eventually just to be nice but not nearly all the time. So i think theres the answer or both of us right there. And as ghost says, seems they are affectionate when they know that we are there to physically fill their needs (emotionally or whatever) but only when they want. As with you, i am at the point where i dont know what to do - call him or just let it go. I hate to beg, i shouldnt need to beg but seriously we dont need these games. When two people are into to eachother we shouldnt even be posting these questions..

 

good luck, take care

[MisPriss04]

Yeah..its very confusing...I actually just found out that he wasnt supposed to work Thursday night and didnt. My best friends fiance works with him which is actually how we met...and another person they work with asked if he was hanging out with them bc he didnt work and was supposed to. I am really surprised that its been more than 2 days and I havent heard from him. We've never gone this long without speaking before. At this point I wouldnt even know what to text him anyways. So I am trying my best to just leave it alone..but its hard.