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When your friend tries to set you up.


psychoanalytical

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Do you have to make sure a girl isn't into you if she tries to set you up without you asking her?

 

eg. She brings her friend round, and being polite you tend to make general conversation with her friend so that she doesn't feel excluded. But then you actually hit it off with her friend, and she proclaims to your friend (half-mistakingly) - "Your friend is really hot!" But then your friend becomes jealous (as far as you could tell) and starts to dominate the conversation.

 

Like, how does the dynamics of this work? Does your friend like you or not? And do they both think you are hot?

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please don't take offense but i'll need to rewrite this for you because it was really confusing for me to read

 

Do you have to make sure a girl-friend isn't into you if she tries to set you up without you asking her to?

 

eg. Emily brings her friend Laura round, and being polite you tend to make general conversation with Laura so that she doesn't feel excluded. But then you actually hit it off with Laura, and Laura proclaims to Emily (half-mistakingly) - "Your friend is really hot!" But then Emily becomes jealous (as far as you could tell) and starts to dominate the conversation.

 

Like, how does the dynamics of this work? Does Emily like you or not? And do they both think you are hot?

 

I think Emily does like you on some level but hasn't come to terms with it. She's frustrated that Laura has seen something in you and wanted to make sure your attention was turned to her by becomming the centre of attention.

 

If you like Emily, ask her out. If you don't, be happy that Laura likes you and that Emily is protective of you -- then consider asking Laura out if you want to.

 

I think you MIGHT have got the wrong end of the stick though - maybe Emily never brought Laura round as a date but that she'd mistakenly told Laura that she liked you and thought you were hot --- and Laura accidentally let it slip saying in a sense "yeah i can see why you like him".

 

Either way - I'd talk to Emily if you like her like that.

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eg. She brings her friend round, and being polite you tend to make general conversation with her friend so that she doesn't feel excluded. But then you actually hit it off with her friend, and she proclaims to your friend (half-mistakingly) - "Your friend is really hot!" But then your friend becomes jealous (as far as you could tell) and starts to dominate the conversation.

 

Like, how does the dynamics of this work? Does your friend like you or not? And do they both think you are hot?

 

There's no way to tell from what you've written whether friend (A) likes you or not, or if friend (A) is jealous or not.

The dynamics will vary based on specific factors/ the individuals involved.

 

What you speculate may be the case, but there are other possibilities, too.

For example: rather than jealousy it could be general competitiveness/wanting to be the center of attention/feel included having known both you and her friend before either of you knew each other.

 

To answer your first question--

Do you have to make sure a girl isn't into you if she tries to set you up without you asking her?

 

You are under no obligation to "make sure a girl isn't into you if she tries to set you up without you asking her?"

The question's a little odd, too, because why would she set you up with her friend if she liked you herself?

If this was somehow what's happened, I'd guess that either the set-up was inadvertent OR, she wasn't interested in you at the time.

 

You would do best to worry less about whether they think you're hot, and more on expressing/making clear what YOU feel to each of them.

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I couldn't understand the question/idea of this even when it was re-written. Could you be more specific about what's going on with these girls and what kind of advice you're looking for?

 

Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing, too-- what is it that YOU want, psychoanalytical?

 

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but the way that I read it is that

 

Lou has a friend (called Pat, let's say), and

one day, Pat brings a friend (Leslie) around to meet Lou.

After being introduced, and making some polite conversation, Lou

and Leslie start to hit it off-- so much so that Leslie exclaims to Pat (about Lou), "Your friend is really hot!"

(But, the way that she says it-- with emphasis on the 'IS' suggests to Lou that perhaps Pat had previously said to Leslie-- prior to actually introducing the two of them-- 'Lou is hot')

 

Anyway, at this point, Pat seems to start acting a bit jealous; dominating the conversation.

 

Now, Lou is surprised and bewildered by Pat's behaviour, and trying to decipher the actions/feelings/motivations of both Leslie AND Pat.

 

Lou's wondering if maybe both Leslie and Pat like him--

He's wondering if that comment about his hotness implies interest from either or both parties...

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Yes I should have made it clearer. Basically I didn't mention that whilst she's taking over the conversation and giving me long long eye contacts, she said something like, "You guys should hang out more" to me and her friend. But her body language was quite the opposite. Confusing. So why is she trying to set me up w/ her friend when she's giving me the signs of attraction?

 

Update: She came around again yesterday. She's friends with my flatmate and they obviously had an argument so both of them were in a pretty bad mood - stiff silence styles. We didn't talk for too long as she was pretty short, but she respected me and didn't unload onto me in spite of.

 

The thing is, she treats me like how I want to be treated by a girl - which is refreshing because so many of the girls I know are socially aggressive and that puts me off.

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