Jump to content

Sexual Fustration.


equinox

Recommended Posts

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months now and I'm happy. She's clever, enjoys my company, laughs at my jokes etc so we're getting on fine.

 

The thing is, she's not into doing much physical. When I can get her alone, she'll make out with me and let me feel her up (a little) but it has the feelign that she's obliging me and not getting anything out of it herself.

 

I always believed that a healthy relationship needs a healthy sexual aspect for it to be a success. Now while I don't expect her to lay before me and open her legs every time I meet her, I really want to have a proper, adult relationship with this girl but she seems very closed to anything sexual.

 

She is a virgin, as am I so I understand her being apprehensive. I dont' want advice on how to talk her into sex, I'm just wondering if anyone knows a good way to bring this up as I think we should talk about how we stand in this area. I've tryed, but her reaction is mixed at best and she doesn't seem to be warming up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How have you tried to talk to her? How have you brought it up? What do you mean that her reaction is mixed? Have the two of you ever had a casual conversation about values regarding sex? Do you know if she is waiting for marriage? Do you have a lot of sexual experience that she may feel intimidated about? Does she have a healthy self-image both emotionally and physically (in other words, is she not wanting to have sex because of her values or because of body image issues?). You are 22...how old is she?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies guys. What little we have discussed is not that she's waiting for marriage but a committed relationship. One thing we strongly see eye to eye on is that a couple don't need to be married to be committed.

 

She's just over a year younger than me, so 21. Her appearance is very well kept, she's pretty and really looks after her figure.

 

I've never been the type of guy that has to have sex with 20+ women a year and though I am a virgin, I've had the opportunity to have sex 4 times now with 3 different women. I really don't want to leave her but would it be a good idea to try to talk to her about it, not talk her into it, just about where she stands so I know for sure?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the replies guys. What little we have discussed is not that she's waiting for marriage but a committed relationship. One thing we strongly see eye to eye on is that a couple don't need to be married to be committed.

 

She's just over a year younger than me, so 21. Her appearance is very well kept, she's pretty and really looks after her figure.

 

I've never been the type of guy that has to have sex with 20+ women a year and though I am a virgin, I've had the opportunity to have sex 4 times now with 3 different women. I really don't want to leave her but would it be a good idea to try to talk to her about it, not talk her into it, just about where she stands so I know for sure?

Don`t pressure a virgin. She`ll let you know when she`s ready.

 

Other than that, the only advice I can give is that if sex is important to you in a relationship, don`t date virgins!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well it's really about how you two feel about your commitment to each other, isn't it. That's what you need to talk about, if you're wanting an adult relationship. Sounds as though the sex will (or won't) follow...

 

You do know for sure where SHE stands, you don't know for sure where YOU (plural) stand.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I find it interesting that people say "don't pressure virgins" kind of like the implication that if they are not a virgin then pressure is acceptable! Also, it is almost like virgins are fragile and you need to wait until they approach you. Not so...maybe she would be open to it. It is not about pressuring for sex..it is about having a good honest discussion about sex and if there is interest in doing it at some point in the future. She wants to be in a committed relationship but it doesn't have to be marriage. You two have been together for 6 months. Are there issues in the relationship which make it feel uncommitted to her? These are things you need to discuss...what are her expectations for commitment. Yes, you do need to discuss these things and at 6 months in you should feel comfortable enough having these discussions...being a virgin does not make a person any less interested in sex...maybe she wants to and is nervous. The two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk about it...no pressure, just open, frank discussion.

 

For the record...you do indeed already have an adult relationship because you are both adults...sex does not magically turn a relationship from being "childlike" to being "adult". In fact, lots of people who are in relationships and having great sex lives do not in fact have an adult mature relationship because everything else in the relationship is dysfunctional. "Adult" does not mean sex...adult means level of maturity and functionality of the relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why Does He Want To See You In A Bi...
Why Does He Want To See You In A Bikini?

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...