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Is this chick crazy? 2nd chance?


Cloud85
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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So, let me start off by saying that my divorce will be final in a month or so. I just filed the Affidavit of Default.

 

Anyway, I started seeing this girl I met in my college english course. At first she was really really interested in me. Wanted to know everything about me, wanted to see all the time, and texted me. Then she found out that one of her ex-boyfriends is good friends with my soon to be ex-wife and she got all weird. She told me that she wanted to wait until I was divorced before we got serious and I understood that. She continued to feel uncomfortable for about 3 weeks about my ex-wife and her ex-boyfriend knowing each other and then she got over it.

 

I stopped contacting so much because she wanted to take it slow. I started to feel like she was playing a game with me because she blew me off 2 times to hangout and when she would text me (ussually hi or hey...that's it and then 1 line responses, which wasn't the case in the beginning) or call me (maybe a 2 minute conversation) She would ask me all the time if I had plans like she wanted to make plans and but then nothing would come of it.

 

I really like this girl, but 2 nights ago she calls me 3 times at 1am crying and told me she hurt herself. She fell on her stairs and scraped up her leg pretty bad. I asked her if she had been drinking and she said yes. She wanted me to come over and take a look at it and take care of her. So I did. I get there and she is lying in her bed asleep. I go over to her and she wakes up and tells me to leave her alone... I was pissed. I asked her if she wants me to leave and she repeats herself. So I said, "so you called me to come over so you could just tell me to leave you alone? I'll be leaving now."

 

I then deleted her number from my phone and decided that was it. No one has ever done that to me and I told her that it was very rude. I'm a very caring and kind person and what she did was extremely disrespectful to me. She texted me this morning asking me what happened and to like she didn't know. I told her and she said that I knew she would never do that intentionally and she blamed it on her going away party at work. I told her that we shouldn't speak anymore and then she texted me again saying she wants me in her life, even though she wouldn't fully commit to casually dating before. She called me a couple of more times throughout the day and I ignored her. I really liked this girl and I'm just wondering if I'm making a good decision not talking to her or if she is just plain crazy?

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I think it's perfectly okay for you to be upset with her drunken behavior, but I would give her another chance. It's very likely that she was very drunk and really did want you to come over, but passed out and didn't realize the things she was saying to you. I've had several girlfriends do strange things, but it was just the booze talking. Give her another chance, but if this type of behavior develops into more of a routine, then you can get out.

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I hate it when people say "it's the booze talking". I've been drunk before, I know what it feels to be drunk. I can control myself so you can too. If you lose yourself while drunk, you shouldn't be drinking. End of story!

 

 

Oh, and I'd be out. Chick has issues.

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I hate it when people say "it's the booze talking". I've been drunk before, I know what it feels to be drunk. I can control myself so you can too. If you lose yourself while drunk, you shouldn't be drinking. End of story!

 

 

Oh, and I'd be out. Chick has issues.

 

i've done some dumb things myself, but i've always known what i was doing. most of it is just funny. not some crazy behavior like this. falling down drunk calling people and passing out and saying weird crap isn't my style.

 

especially if this was early on. i do kind of agree with the 'see if there are most signs she has a problem then bounce' style. but...i dunno. it's a huge turnoff for me to see crap like this.

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i've done some dumb things myself, but i've always known what i was doing. most of it is just funny. not some crazy behavior like this. falling down drunk calling people and passing out and saying weird crap isn't my style.

 

especially if this was early on. i do kind of agree with the 'see if there are most signs she has a problem then bounce' style. but...i dunno. it's a huge turnoff for me to see crap like this.

 

same. i've been known to get really cozy with people when i'm drunk. but i know, most of the time, it's just a tendency and i CAN control it. falling all over the place and being all dramatic? i agree with you, huge HUGE turn off.

 

keep in mind that most people act the way they do while drunk IS because they can then use the "i was drunk" excuse. a lot of the time, it's who they REALLY are. you tend to don't care when you're drunk, that is true, but the fundamentals dont change.

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I would try it with her, give her a second chance. God knows I have done some pretty stupid stuff when I was drunk, it happens. I wouldn't cross her off your list just because of this one incident, although I would be really made about it too. I'm sure I would cool off though once I realized it was probably just the alcohol -- if somethings similar ever happened again (not alcohol related), or she drinks all the time (constantly bad about it), I would get the **** out.

 

Keep in mind though:

 

"a drunken mind speaks a sober heart"

I think there is some credence to that quote. But give her another chance even so.

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Nothing happened before that to make her say leave me alone? If she was sober enough to call, then she was sober enough to know her actions.

 

I would go with your gut. If your gut is telling you that something isnt right, usually, something isnt right. Besides, you are going thru a divorce. You dont need the drama.

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EDIT: In response to Out.

 

What are you talking about? I have called people and said ridiculous things that I can't remember in the morning. I'm not saying that you ever should, but my guess is you haven't really been ****faced if you think that (which is a good thing). Haven't you ever heard of drunk dialing? I wouldn't judge her on this one thing; sometimes you have more to drink at parties than you think and lose control a little bit, it happens.

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EDIT: In response to Out.

 

What are you talking about? I have called people and said ridiculous things that I can't remember in the morning. I'm not saying that you ever should, but my guess is you haven't really been ****faced if you think that (which is a good thing). Haven't you ever heard of drunk dialing? I wouldn't judge her on this one thing; sometimes you have more to drink at parties than you think and lose control a little bit, it happens.

 

Oh Ive been * * * * faced before....but I wouldnt be able to dail the numbers. Ive tried to text drunk before and it looks like a 5 yr old did it. I would do things drunk I wouldnt do sober bc drinking loosens your inhibitions, but I remember.

 

I had an incident once where I was drunk and yelled at a guy bc he didnt pay for my breakfast (we were all friends). Im usually a very happy drunk but this was post break up. I remembered everything the next morning but I told my roomate I didnt remember bc I was embarassed. (I was really young then)

 

Btw, its Qut not Out.

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Lol! I don't completely blackout, like I remember that I called someone, but I can't remember exactly what I told them... Usually I am afraid to find out. I remember one time I told some girl that I was trying to hide from policemen and they were riding around in trees... I asked her if she had seen any. What the * * * * ?! Good times.

 

Anyway, I have learned my lesson and know how to control myself and my drinking so there aren't any incidents, although sometimes you still mess up.

 

And sorry Qut. Looked like an O when I glanced with the underline.

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Lol! I don't completely blackout, like I remember that I called someone, but I can't remember exactly what I told them... Usually I am afraid to find out. I remember one time I told some girl that I was trying to hide from policemen and they were riding around in trees... I asked her if she had seen any. What the * * * * ?! Good times.

 

Anyway, I have learned my lesson and know how to control myself and my drinking so there aren't any incidents, although sometimes you still mess up.

 

And sorry Qut. Looked like an O when I glanced with the underline.

hehe, its ok. Ppl always mess up my name. Before it was capitalized ppl would think its gut. I guess Out is better.

 

Op, how old is she? I know I didnt know my limits until I got to be around 23/24. This is the first incident right? If you really like her, dont stop talking to her, just keep your eyes and ears open for the crazy flags.

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I would try it with her, give her a second chance. God knows I have done some pretty stupid stuff when I was drunk, it happens. I wouldn't cross her off your list just because of this one incident, although I would be really made about it too. I'm sure I would cool off though once I realized it was probably just the alcohol -- if somethings similar ever happened again (not alcohol related), or she drinks all the time (constantly bad about it), I would get the **** out.

 

Keep in mind though:

 

"a drunken mind speaks a sober heart"

I think there is some credence to that quote. But give her another chance even so.

 

I agree, I'd probably give her a second chance, but my spidey senses would be on full alert, that's for sure.

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It's not just the drinking episode:

I stopped contacting so much because she wanted to take it slow. I started to feel like she was playing a game with me because she blew me off 2 times to hangout and when she would text me (ussually hi or hey...that's it and then 1 line responses, which wasn't the case in the beginning) or call me (maybe a 2 minute conversation) She would ask me all the time if I had plans like she wanted to make plans and but then nothing would come of it.

Even if she hadn't reacted that way when he arrived at her place she was still using him. She blew him off for dates until she wanted some help.

 

OP: This is not someone that is worth your time.

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Since when do people get so judgemental? Who here can honestly say they've never been * * * * faced and done/said something stupid? It's called under the influence for a reason ;p.

 

I hope she apologized. I wouldn't date her. But NOT because she was drunk, but because from what you said doesn't seem like she really apologized, and for playing games with you beforehand, unless you tell her to cut it out. Not because of being drunk.

 

I have drunk so much before that I blacked out roughly 12 hours of my life, all it requires is certain conditions. No food, strong alcohol, drinking fast, and you're gauranteed blackout stage.

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I hate it when people say "it's the booze talking". I've been drunk before, I know what it feels to be drunk. I can control myself so you can too. If you lose yourself while drunk, you shouldn't be drinking. End of story!

 

 

Oh, and I'd be out. Chick has issues.

 

Well what I mean is I've been very drunk and very aware of my actions, however once I hit the point of passing out, I don't remember anything from that point. And by passing out I mean just falling into a deep drunken sleep.

 

There was a time when I was really drunk and fell asleep, and my friends shook me uncontrollably trying to get me up, but I wouldn't wake up. However they did say I would speak back to them, just sort of without much conciousness and not making much sense.

 

So I think it's possible that could have happened to her. I wouldn't let one drunken instance mold your view of her into a drunken mess.

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It isn't one drunken instance.

 

It seems so mnay people are focusing on that one issue and not on the bigger picture and her prior behaviour.

 

I was hoping for answers on the overall situation like you said. The drunken incident is just one of them and it kind of put me over the edge. I still can't stop thinking about her. I haven't contacted her or picked up any of her calls.

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