MissMichelle Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I hate to think that if I ever get married to someone, when we reach age 40+ he's going to be checking out 20 year old girls. That just makes me so sad, why can't men be happy with someone their own age? Another thing that worries me is having to find someone at age 40+. How would I ever find anyone if all guys at that age are interested in younger girls? I'd just end up with a guy who's just settling for me because he can't get the hot 19 year old he wants. It depresses me. Link to comment
Sn0man Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Younger women are more fun. If you can age without losing what makes you exciting you'll never be old in a man's eyes. Link to comment
waz.maria Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Im 24 and i attract alot of older man!! its hard!! I get pissed off sometimes. I do like old guys too coz they are so polished and decent and has manner to talk to women but AGE!! Its hard to be with a old guy - u can not be sexually satisfied with an old man! Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I have the opposite problem...I attract the younger guys and it's a pain! I go for my own age group....I dont like being with younger and I don't like a lot older. About 31 - 38 I'd say I preferred. Link to comment
LBP Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Young women often flock to older men... That's just the way it works. The psychology is irrelevant. Note: it does change as a woman ages. Suddenly, they look for the youngins. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Younger women are more fun. So are younger guys....but I wouldn't dream of entertaining one. Link to comment
d24 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 older men are more established, stable and mature. they usually have climbed a few pegs in their career and give off an air of success that younger women want to aspire to and/or respect. 20ish yr old guys are (generally) immature and dont have a lot going for them other than their youth and looks, I can totally understand why younger women go for older guys. I don't even think it's worth explaining why an older guy would want a hot tight young play thing with little experience, impressionable and who is easily impressed.... *coughs* Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I hate to think that if I ever get married to someone, when we reach age 40+ he's going to be checking out 20 year old girls. That just makes me so sad, why can't men be happy with someone their own age? Another thing that worries me is having to find someone at age 40+. How would I ever find anyone if all guys at that age are interested in younger girls? I'd just end up with a guy who's just settling for me because he can't get the hot 19 year old he wants. It depresses me. I really don't believe you should spend time worrying about this sort of thing. If it helps, I am 50 and of all the couples I know...not a single one has broken up so the man can have a young girl. That's not even close to the norm from what I've experienced in my relationship or seen in others. Link to comment
Pegasus Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Another thing that worries me is having to find someone at age 40+. How would I ever find anyone if all guys at that age are interested in younger girls? I'd just end up with a guy who's just settling for me because he can't get the hot 19 year old he wants. Stay fit and good looking, don't nag too much and be interested in sex - you will have nothing to worry about. Link to comment
thegirl_00 Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Wow, this thread is making me look pretty bad as I am 20 and dating a 32 year old. Link to comment
Nutz Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I hate to think that if I ever get married to someone, when we reach age 40+ he's going to be checking out 20 year old girls. That just makes me so sad, why can't men be happy with someone their own age? Who says they can't be happy? Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you stop being physically attracted to the opposite sex. As long as the relationship is solid he shouldn't be trading in that 40 for 2 20s, as the saying goes. Granted us single guys are naturally going to gravitate to the younger women just because that's how nature built us, which is mainly that we're attracted to women who are at their peak child bearing years. Another thing that worries me is having to find someone at age 40+. How would I ever find anyone if all guys at that age are interested in younger girls? I'd just end up with a guy who's just settling for me because he can't get the hot 19 year old he wants. It depresses me. That's pretty much the reality of it. Women these days, largely due to women's lib & feminism, are ignoring nature and waiting until later in life to settle down due to career goals and whatnot. The drawback is men embracing the "peter pan" syndrome and both sexes partying it up in their 20s and early 30s. When the women get older, say late 30s or 40s, the guys are still going strong for the younger women (see above). This is why I keep reading articles about stanch feminists feeling they were sold a lie and instead wishing they'd settled down and had families when they were young. I suspect you're feeling maybe not the same end effect, but the root dynamics at play in their case are also impacting you as well (perhaps in a different manner though?). Am I right? Link to comment
Nutz Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Stay fit and good looking, don't nag too much and be interested in sex - you will have nothing to worry about. LOL, spoken like a champ! It's harsh to some, and plain as day to others. It pretty much tracks exactly what I said months ago. link removed Wow, this thread is making me look pretty bad as I am 20 and dating a 32 year old. That's fine. I'm 32 and I regularly meet 18-23 year olds when I go out. It helps that I pass for 23-26, which is what I commonly get when they guess my age. When they find out I'm over 30 something tends to click and they either get standoffish, which is rare, or almost look up to me like I'm out of their league or something. I've been told my life experience is intimidating and I've had guys their age just walk off saying they can't compete with that level of experience. In a sense I can see why women are attracted to older guys. Status is a big part of it too--we're better off financially and appeal to the innate attraction triggers in women for those things. Not saying women are gold diggers, just that most women are attracted to the tribal leader/alpha male. It's why women are so engrossed in all things related to celebs and men are usually "meh" when it comes to such topics. Link to comment
l0vel0rn Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Ever hear of cougars? There are hot 40+ women out there. There are women who like younger men as well. What you are describing are the actions of a selfish person who cares only about what they want. They do not really care about the other person. They don’t know how to love. Cheating and affairs are inherently selfish acts. I’m not trying to make it all sound black and white. Sure there are circumstances where we can all “understand” why a particular person might cheat. I have always been of the mindset that if you find yourself in a situation where cheating is understandable to you, then you are probably at the point where it’s time to exit the relationship. However, some people don’t want to leave what they have, no matter how bad it is, because they are afraid they will not find anything better. Better to be hitched and miserable than to be unhitched and miserable. Whatever the reasons ultimately are the person choosing to step out on the relationship is only thinking of their own selfish “needs” and desires. Rather than work things out with their partner and try to fix the relationship or accept that it’s not going to work and get out and risk being alone for awhile, the person starts looking to meet their “needs” elsewhere. Other times it’s just purely lust. They simply want to so they do it. You can’t completely hedge yourself against the selfishness of others. You just have to try and make sure you make the best choice for a partner and eventually spouse that you can. If you see signs early on that they are not a good match for you, and I think we often do but we choose to ignore them, love is blind as they say, then do not continue to pursue the relationship. The earlier you get out of a bad situation the better for both of you. In the end, love requires risk. We have to be willing to risk being hurt in order to truly love someone. Loving someone requires surrendering our most vulnerable self to them. They hold our hearts in their hands. A misspoken word from them can break us. They have tremendous power over our self esteem and self image. If they make us feel beautiful, we believe we are beautiful. If they make us feel ugly, we feel we are ugly etc. So date, allow time for a courtship, be boyfriend and girlfriend for awhile, and take all that time to determine if this is the person for you. All along the way, be mindful of any signs that things are not as they should be. If you cannot fix it, don’t be afraid to walk away and find someone else. When you find someone that really loves you the way you want and need to be loved, I think you will know it. It’s very different than someone who is with you for any other reason than love. Link to comment
Nutz Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 ??? I'm guessing this was meant for a different thread with all that talk of cheating. Totally doesn't have to do with the topic at all. Link to comment
bexcelant Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 ??? I'm guessing this was meant for a different thread with all that talk of cheating. Totally doesn't have to do with the topic at all. Sounds like a woman who had her husband walk out on her for a hot 20 yr old. Link to comment
bexcelant Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 Hey I'm 40 something and I still go out with 20-30 yrs olds...no big deal. I don't have any baggage and I never got married. If someone is into you so be it. Link to comment
tom1607307597 Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 This is like asking why guys like to check out girls they think are sexy or attractive. They just do. Ok, not a very detailed answer but I heard something similar to what pegasus said. A woman who stays fit or just stays sexy as they age and is experienced (in terms of relationships) is more appealing than a girl in her 20's who has alot less experience being in a relationship. Link to comment
diabolik Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 This is like asking why guys like to check out girls they think are sexy or attractive. Exactly. Or why I have radar for nice butts. OP, if you could see the world through the eyes of a man, you'd realize how silly your question is. I really don't believe you should spend time worrying about this sort of thing. If it helps, I am 50 and of all the couples I know...not a single one has broken up so the man can have a young girl. That's not even close to the norm from what I've experienced in my relationship or seen in others. Yes, agreed. Just because he's looking doesn't mean he's going to abandon a wife he loves who is also the mother of his children. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I don't think all older men are the way you are describing, Michelle. It's depressing to me too when I think they do - - but even if it's a significant chunk of men - - it's not all. Just avoid the men who are obsessed with young women and have all sorts of reasons why it's natural and that 'all men are like that'. There are so many degree in between the stereotypical (though have to say, there are plenty of them out there) older man who is drooling at 19 year old chicks and trying to sack 'em, and the guy who is go-go gah gah for older women and wouldn't even think to look at an attractive younger woman. Link to comment
iLiveWithMyMom Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 OP, if you could see the world through the eyes of a man, you'd realize how silly your question is. lol. Classic. I think deep down, even the biggest player wants to settle down with one woman and forever faithfully grow old together, but biologically that's just not how guys are setup. Like other people already said, women want security (which is why you often see hideous guys with gorgeous women) and men are naturally attracted to youthful beauty. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 If I'm 40 and my boyfriend is checking out 20 year old girls...he can go have his fun. That's unbelievably creepy and I'd be wasting my time with a guy like that. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 I never have older men after me. I am glad cuz I am really not that into older men. My sis loves them. SHe's hot, to. Its all about preference. Thing is, if you love someone, you find them irrisistible. Its not about age. DOn't waste your life worrying. if some guy marries you, andleaves you, appreciatethe time you had with him and realize women don't need men...youhave your own life, if a guy adds to it, great, if not, aw well, his loss. Link to comment
Nutz Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 If I'm 40 and my boyfriend is checking out 20 year old girls...he can go have his fun. That's unbelievably creepy and I'd be wasting my time with a guy like that. Ah, the classic shaming technique. It's what women resort to when they find the actions of men inequitable. Since they can't pull it off, for the most part anyway, they frame what we do as "bad" so we can't have our fun. We're on to you. A guy wanting an attractive young hottie is NATURE. Attempt to shame all you want, that's not going to change a thing. At least not for the guys that have a pair and do what they want in life without your permission. Link to comment
diabolik Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 If I'm 40 and my boyfriend is checking out 20 year old girls...he can go have his fun. Checking out is different from acting on it. As Miss Firecracker notes, not many older, married men are leaving their wives and families just to hook up with some younger woman. That's unbelievably creepy and I'd be wasting my time with a guy like that. A reproductively viable man checking out a fertile female is creepy? Obviously, nature disagrees with you. Link to comment
yumicecream Posted June 26, 2009 Share Posted June 26, 2009 Not every guy wants a younger woman. Some of them are sleazeballs and some of them just happened to fall in love with a younger woman. Who cares? The right one will want you, thats it. Some women like old guys, let them. I am glad someone hot like my sister takes the old men cuz that means more hot younger men left for me that people like her would have snatched up. Younger women are more likely to feed a guy's ego...my sister likes how they take care of her so she can go act like a flake. YOunger women are also more fertile. I have to be independent and support myself b/c I don't have some old guy dishing out cash every time I want something. Link to comment
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