an awkward relationship

[cpmav]

Okay, so I first met this girl online through a mutual "friend" (long story.... that's beside the point, though) at least about five years ago. After talking for awhile, she told me that she liked me and asked me out. Trouble is she lives in Washington and I live on Michigan, so this would be an online dating thing. My stubbornness due to emotional issues caused by my family led to me basically turning her down then. I didn't know when I'd be able to meet her, etc.

 

We're both depressed, she's officially bipolar and I think I am, too. So, often when talking to her, I just ended up bringing her down. This led to her periodically deciding not to talk to me. Lately I'm starting to realise that I'm depressed and perhaps bipolar and trying to get treatment for that.

 

Trouble is, I've fallen for her, sure more now than ever. Just when I start to try to "fix" myself to be with her, I find out she was really close to this guy she hadn't told me about. She's constantly been comparing me to him, saying that he would've done this or that, that my voice sounds like his. They apparently broke up because he was too clingy, saying he wanted to marry her and for her to have his kids. They're just children, relatively (15 and 17).

 

So, her prom comes up and she eventually decides to go with her ex. She says they're going to go as "just friends". When I look at their Myspace profiles, though, they've changed their statuses to indicate that they "love" each other. Now I'm confused, as it seems she's getting back together, but she told me she didn't want to.... She says she sees me as "just a friend" but I have deeper feelings for her.

 

I guess my question is, what should I do? It tears me apart to find that once I've started getting better, she's already getting back with her ex...

[aldridal]

Hate to say it, but if you're going to recover from an emotional illness (if you do indeed have a bipolar disorder), then a long distance relationship is DEFINITELY NOT for you. I've never struggled with depression, and it's never really been in my family, and I'm having a helluva time dealing with a 5 hour distance (and it's only going to last for three months!) with my girlfriend.

 

So my suggestion is, take this time to heal. Don't stress about a girl who lives 1,500+ miles away, especially at this young age. Trust me, I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you will fall in love with somebody else, and somebody else will fall in love with you. Don't limit yourself to an LDR at this time.

[Kumatora]

Aldridal couldn't have said it better. You're not ready for a LDR if you have trouble dealing with depression and a lot of stress.