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guys are constantly approaching me only to friendzone me instantaneously

yumicecream

By yumicecream
in Dating Advice

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gidget1 Enthusiast

gidget1

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Maybe you subconciously friendzone them straight away. Or you haven't been their type. Or they aren't single/looking.

 

You look friendly and approachable, and they want to be your friend, why is that a bad thing?

I've never been in a relationship that didn't start out as "friends".

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Stuffy Nose Apprentice

Stuffy Nose

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I think most likely you're giving off the wrong kind of vibe. You should consciously try to throw out hints that you're interested, if you are indeed interested.

 

Trust me, no guy will dislike it if you flirt with him.

 

What kind of things do you do when they come up to talk to you?

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Stuffy Nose Apprentice

Stuffy Nose

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As a general rule, slight hints don't really work with guys. Sure there are exceptions, but there's no shame in showing your interest, so why should you?

 

You say a lot of guys approach you, so you must be attractive. I understand if you're shy, but you need to get over it or you'll rarely get what you want. Try taking small steps. Next time you're interested in a guy, try touching his arm, do all the flirty things. You don't even have to do the initiating; if you show interest, he will be more confident and do it himself.

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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I just talk to them. I am interested in conversation when they come up to me and I flirt in a very slight way. Its very subtle though.

 

you might think it's subtle, but i've seen your threads and i can see how you could be coming off as desperate to find someone. don't take that the wrong way either.

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yumicecream Enthusiast

yumicecream

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I do flirt. Pretty blatantly. I have guys approach me but not LOOOTS of guys...and they don't approach me...if I happen to be around, they start talking to me. I flirt by being nice and making jokes and looking in their eyes. I usually just have a good conversation.

 

 

On the last comment, I don't take it personally but also don't take it personally when I say I'm kind of not really interested in thoughts and opinions from utterly noncommital guys who aren't out to just use women for sex.\

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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I do flirt. Pretty blatantly. I have guys approach me but not LOOOTS of guys...and they don't approach me...if I happen to be around, they start talking to me. I flirt by being nice and making jokes and looking in their eyes. I usually just have a good conversation.

 

 

On the last comment, I don't take it personally but also don't take it personally when I say I'm kind of not really interested in thoughts and opinions from utterly noncommital guys who aren't out to just use women for sex.\

 

who is that? me?

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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so, you think i'm only out to use women for sex? please answer.

 

 

and you aren't looking for friends, so if guys like this end up that way/change their minds/whatever, why would you even consider anything further when your intentions aren't that?

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yumicecream Enthusiast

yumicecream

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i don't know what you're asking. i don't want any more guy friends is all i'm saying. you don't know me so you don't have to worry about what i think but judging from some previous posts you've made, you have used a lot of women for sex and then bragged about the conquests online....so thats where i got my opinion from.

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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i don't know what you're asking. i don't want any more guy friends is all i'm saying. you don't know me so you don't have to worry about what i think but judging from some previous posts you've made, you have used a lot of women for sex and then bragged about the conquests online....so thats where i got my opinion from.

 

hmmm, i'd love to see where i bragged about conquests like i have notches in my bed or Xs on my calendar.

 

anyways, i'm asking you, why do you even ask questions about guys friendzoning you? if they do that, tell them you aren't looking for that. you aren't going to get a bf from every guy that shows initial interest in you.

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yumicecream Enthusiast

yumicecream

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hmmm, i'd love to see where i bragged about conquests like i have notches in my bed or Xs on my calendar.

 

anyways, i'm asking you, why do you even ask questions about guys friendzoning you? if they do that, tell them you aren't looking for that. you aren't going to get a bf from every guy that shows initial interest in you.

 

you didn't say i have x's on my calendar...its odd to me b/c you're not outward like some guys but are still in denial about it, which probably makes you more convincing to some women who knows. but you've bragged about explicit sexual things you've done with women and the fact that its highly important for you to point out the line between sex and love with sex is a huge sign. also, you've said that you've slept with virgins and they got too clingy etc etc, you're obviously just out to use women for sex/ are noncommital and don't even realize it yourself.

 

guys don't make it clear they are going to friendzone me when they are constantly bothering me and coming up to me. i hate them, b/c itslike, stop coming up to me if all you want is to be my friend. i will tell him thatnext time.

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yumicecream Enthusiast

yumicecream

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well, based on the bold, you might be analyzing guys wrong.

 

and i find it weird that random strangers keep coming up to you to be friends. very interesting.

 

To each his own opinions. But are you in a committed relationship? Do you really want one?

 

are you being sarcastic? I think its weird myself.

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NightLily Collaborator

NightLily

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Actually Ghost, you gave off the same impression to me as well. I'm not about to say it is the truth though as I really don't know you.

 

Edit: I didn't read back far enough. I didn't get the sense you were only using women for sex. Just a bit of a womanizer.

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ghost69 Mentor

ghost69

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To each his own opinions. But are you in a committed relationship? Do you really want one?

 

are you being sarcastic? I think its weird myself.

 

what would me being single or in a committed relationship have anything to do with anything? do i want one? if it happens it happens. i don't go out looking.

 

 

no, i'm not being sarcastic, i really find it weird. i never approach a girl to 'be friends'. i only approach women i find attractive to get to know them and see if anything is there.

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bostonbruins24 Newbie

bostonbruins24

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what would me being single or in a committed relationship have anything to do with anything? do i want one? if it happens it happens. i don't go out looking.

 

 

no, i'm not being sarcastic, i really find it weird. i never approach a girl to 'be friends'. i only approach women i find attractive to get to know them and see if anything is there.

Good point.Men[most] don't approach women with the intention of becoming a ''friend''.I think if most women were honest they would agree that they don't randomly initiate conversations with strangers[in a public place]unless they are interested.The problem likely isn't that these guys are approaching you with the intent of becoming your friend[they likely are interested] but you are doing something while interacting with them that tells them that you are not interested,which is fine and dandy if you are not interested but the next time a guy approaches you who you are interested in, try and give him lots of encouragement ,be friendly and I am sure he will ask you out.Trust me ,the majority of men are not going to randomly approach a woman in public unless they are interested,so the next cute guy who does,it should immediately dawn on you that he is interested,so what can I do[don't blame the men ]to keep him interested and take it to the next level.

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