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What does it mean when they Read your message but didn't reply right away?


desert_rose26

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Hi,

 

So..if you were following my story then you know I've been chatting with this guy on an online dating site..POF. So, it's not the first time he's done this: read my message but didn't reply yet..I personally do this a lot..and almost always read messages but don't reply right away. The reason for me doing this is finding a good time to give a quality reply instead of one where I'm just rushing it. But can the same be said for why HE is doing this? I'm wondering now why a guy might do this? I guess there's 2 possibilities:

 

1. finding a good time to reply

2. not that interested

 

It sucks because these 2 possibilities are complete opposites of what he is thinking.

 

I know people lead busy lives but is there a possibility that HE's waiting because I'M waiting too?

 

All the guys I've chatted with don't do this even if I do it. But he does - so how different of a guy does this make him?

 

(I almost wanted to be a psych major)

 

Btw, his messages come usually after 2 days from reading it. I can hear y'all screaming "stop checking the sent mail!".lol...I never used to do it but lately with this guy I finally started to..

 

EDIT: after reading what I wrote, I realized it was more of a rant and how silly this post is. I guess I just needed to tell someone...and share with you other online daters.

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Okay, from an online dater myself, and being a male... here are my thoughts.

 

If I am really not that interested, I wouldn't be writing in the first place, or I would stop writing. The messages would be short and there would be days between responses in some vague hope that she won't reply. Sure, the best thing would be to just say, 'sorry not interested,' but this isn't always the easiest.

 

From my experience, I have rushed into things, have emailed, texted, IMed and even called initially, then been disappointed when meeting the girl and felt like it was a waste of effort because we didn't connect in person.

 

So... I take it slowly, I respond perhaps once every day or two to emails, and because I'm a big writer, I tend to wait until I have a good 30 mintues to do it. If the girl i am cahtting to takes a couple of days to respond, I will do the same. I don't want to seem too eager now do I?

 

Perhaps this guy is similar. If you find his responses getting slowe and slower, then he may very well not be interested. But if he is just responding at the same pace you are, maybe he isn't in a hurry...

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Hi keyman,

 

Thanks for your comments..it really gave a different perspective that I hadn't thought of. I have also had the experience where I invested time into writing messages back and forth with a guy and been disappointed the first second I met him. I have to remind myself of that more often. Afterall, online messages mean almost nothing without reality mixed in.

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I guess it depends on the circumstance. These scenario often happens to me where I met someone on a friendly basis then when it's time we may never see each other again, we would exchange contact. But though it may not be very obvious to her, my stand always remain on a friendship basis, so not messaging for a day or two is quite normal. I just have one of those annoying habits where I like to put things off a bit before replying.

But I would pay a lot more attention if she is someone I'm very interested in. Probably would reply back sooner than 24 hours as you expected.

 

I've never been an online dater, but I know how I would respond. If if this person is a stranger and we were to meet on an online dating site, I wouldn't feel guilty not replying at all since my perception to your side of the screen would be that there are few guys you're also talking to. Not as much importance will be placed on me replying back, so I don't message back.

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Im un familiar w/the back story, how long has it been since he read it?

I know im guilty of taking a couple days to respond after reading.. Like you, I prefer ta little time to type something.. I sometimes hit writer's block easily so I kinda need to think over my reply...

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