BF did a complete 180! What happened?! shocked

[egygirl]

I hope you can help me in this issue.

 

I have been in a LDR with a guy for 2 years who lives in a different country. Everything has been great in these 2 years. Even when he started the army, he made time to contact me...call me, email me, come online, etc. was sensitive, and loving, etc. Before this he visited me. He has been the most perfect and great guy all the time I have known him. He always kept his promises, kept his word, and showed he cared.

 

Well, he just finished his officer's college. Now, he is taking a course in computer training for his job. But the day of the graduation he was sooo sweet, and loving, and the man I fell in love with. Then all of a sudden, something snapped. I expected we would work out a schedule of when to talk, and we are planning his trip to see me in the next couple of month. But he changed. We were talking, and he said, we'll talk when there is time...or he didn't answer my calls..or return them as usual. Even when my friend called him, my BF seemed like looking forward to coming to see me.

 

Today, we spoke, first time since his graduation night. He was a completely different person. He basically did a 180...i don't know what happened to him. He told me, he felt a lot of pressure from everything and everyone and that love is making him confused. He said he is broke and doesn't have money to get an internet connection. That he doesn't know how to think..he doesn't want to talk to anyone...he doesn't want to love...and i asked him, what does that mean for us? Am I not in your heart? He said, not at the moment. And that we should be friends for now, in case he can't see me, it won't hurt as much. But this whole time, he sounded drunk, as he said he was drinking. And that defending his country is the most important thing to him, more than anything else. And he talked to some religious guy who told him to stay away from love.

 

Lastly, he said he loved me, but was afraid...he said he needed time to miss me...like 2 weeks or something...also, that when he is with me together faceto face, he feels like he is in heaven...but talking on the phone and online is really complicated and confusing. He said he doesn't want to stop talking forever, but he needs time he wants to do what he wants in his life.

 

What should I do? I will give him space...as he thinks i would fall apart without him and do something crazy. Was this really him talking? Or the pressure and/or alcohol? How should I go on from here? Is there still a chance for us? Or is this temporary? Is there still hope? Do you think he loves me and needs time to sort things out?

 

I'm so confused, shocked and disappointed!

[havefaith]

Walk. Seriously, you need to dump him. I have been here, and done this, it won't get better it will just get FAR worse. Men like this are too chicken to face the fact that the relationship has run its course for them. He will drag you around until you eventually dump him and he'll probably come back eventually but by that time you will resent him so much you won't even be able to stand him as he will have put you through hell and you will look back and ask yourself why in God's name you EVER put up with something like this.

 

But maybe this is all something you have to learn firsthand...

 

Good luck

[desert_rose26]

Yup, I second that. Do what you have to do but move on. The bottom line is he doesn't want you anymore. He might need you because he's a coward but he doesn't want you.