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I don't know what is wrong with me :(


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I'm not sure what is going on with me at the moment but I just feel so down all the time and I can't pull myself out of it. I think it has a lot to do with my job but I am wondering how a thing like a job can make me feel this way. I'm definitely not happy there at all and can't leave at the moment until I find another one. It's just my mood seems to be getting lower and lower.

 

I don't have much of an appetite at all anymore, even if I am hungry I can't eat because it makes me feel sick. I'm not sleeping very well and there just seems no point whatsoever to life right now. I feel like crying all the time and when I am at working talking to people or people around me are talking I just seems to phase out, into my own little world to the point where I can hardly hear what is being said. I really don't feel like myself and I it feels like I don't even know who I am anymore.

 

Has anyone else ever gone through something like this before?

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A job can very well make you feel so down. I know from experience. I hate my job so much and it brings me down more and more everyday. If your job is affecting you that much I would try to find a new one. Yes I know it's not that easy, but why live life like this? Life is too short to mess around with some crappy job you really hate. I myself am desperately searching for a new one because I want to be happy again.

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Thanks for that. I do really hate the job and I feel like walking out as soon as I walk in. I'm hoping that's all it is though. It's not that I just feel down at work, it's all the time. I am looking for new jobs and have applied for one elsewhere, not sure if I will get it though but I hope I do. Not sure what I will do if I don't. The prospect of staying where I am fills me with dread.

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so...you're tired...lethargic...unmotivated...just generally unhappy? is that an accurate description? this is depression.

 

i understand what you're feeling. ''I really don't feel like myself and it feels like i don't even know who i am, anymore." wow. it's almost scary how familiar that sounds. i think you will find many people here will have an empathic connection with you.

 

in january, i began to feel very much the way you're describing. at first i associated the feelings with the break up i was going through...but over time i came to realize that the way i was feeling had nothing to do with the external world. it was completely within me. that was an awakening.

 

i don't know what's best for you...but i'll let you know what's helped me out so far. first of all...this place. posting, listening, sharing, empathizing...that was a big first step. the second step for me was to begin the gradual process of becoming educated. i discovered a book (came recommended to me). ''feeling good'' by 'david burns'. to me, it's a guide to recognizing and altering my unconscious behaviors...the very thoughts and actions that affect my moods. these are the aspects of myself that i've become so accustomed to over the years that there didn't seem to be any justification in questioning them. becoming aware was very liberating. there was an almost instant feeling of gratification. this wasn't a constant state...but it was a HUGE thing for me to feel better...even if it was relatively short-lived at first. with some practice, i've begun to implement some of the teachings on a more regular basis. i've noticed dramatic changes in my moods. as the book suggests...i've come to a place where i actually ''feel good'' again.

 

there's another book that i picked up along the way. it's a little bit of a different context, but for me it jumped to the heart of my unhappiness. it's called ''the power of now'' by 'eckhart tolle'. do you feel plagued by constant thought? does your mind have the ability to drive you crazy? i know for myself, the answer to both of those questions was 'yes'. the teachings have been the stimulus for a kind of transformation for me. i've become much more present in my day-to-day life. my anxiety is virtually non-existant. i'm no longer in a place of suffering.

 

i dont' know if any of this helps...but i wish you well. allow yourself to know that it's within your ability to change...whether it be on your own...or with the help of others. if it were at all possible for me, i would have liked to have found a cognitive therapist to see. that's another option that might be worth exploring.

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90 hour sleep - Thank you so much for your post. i have been wondering if it could be depression but I keep writing that off thinking that things like that don't happen to me.

 

I am constantly driving myself crazy. Thoughts fly around my head and I can't control them and they are so flitting that I don't even know what I am thinking from once second to the next. My mind makes me repeat things over and over in my head. Esp at work, in my head I am saying, "I hate this" or "this is crap" or "leave me alone". probably sounds weird to the point of humorous but I just cant help it.

 

I feel like a zombie most of the time.

 

Did you take any medication for it?

 

I like the sound of those books and will try to get hold of them. I think maybe feeling this way has become a habit in a way. Even if I switched jobs I don't think I would be able to snap out of it. I think it is more than that and I can't put my finger on it really but I certainly can't remember the last time I felt happy or content.

 

I have that feeling you get when you have so much to do and not enough time to do it in, but in this case I have nothing to do. It's like a constant nervous feeling in my stomach constantly and I feel panicky and have even started getting palpitations. Really hard to explain.

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you're very welcome. that's why we're here!! glad to be of some help.

 

writing off the possibility of depression. i DID exactly the same thing. i recently had a talk with my ex about this. she confronted me on several occasions during our last year together, asking if i was depressed (she was depressed herself, and was definitely in a position to help me). my gut instinct was denial. i'm coming to realize that i had some rather jilted perceptions of depression. for me, it was very much perceived as a weakness. that was something i needed to overcome (i have great pain and suffering to thank for that!!

 

i also know what you mean about 'habit'. i think you're onto something important there. in my reading, the idea that becoming aware is the first step, is very predominant. you've taken that step! i don't want to suggest that you are a victim of your habits, but in a way, you haven't really been conscious of what effect your thoughts and behaviors have been having on you (that's how it was for me, anyway). i think it's also important that you know that this isn't just about your job. it may be a contributing factor, but i think most depressions are internal afflictions. externalizing can be a way of denying that there is anything wrong (i used to externalize with my relationships. there's something wrong with the relationship...that's why i'm feeling so shi**y).

 

i haven't taken medication. i'm probably not the right person to talk to about that. ''feeling good'' has an extensive section on various medications. i found it pretty interesting myself. i can't offer advice on medication though.

 

anxiety...constant nagging worry. to the point where it completely incapacitates you? i have to admit that i've had similar feelings. i think it's partly a symptom of depression...but i think (this is my own personal belief) depression is more a symptom of what it is that's making you anxious. this is where ''the power of now'' comes into play. anxiety is like an obsession with the future. you can't stop thinking about what's going to happen...and it kind of makes you mental. by becoming more present of the moment (right now) you're silencing your mind from projecting you into the future. this is really something that's difficult to explain (that's why i recommend the book).

 

i know that these have been very important experiences for me. i have learned a lot about myself. i've grown. i'm happy to say that i will continue to carry with me what i've learned.

 

there's definitely a way out.

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Thanks again.

 

That bit you said about becoming obsessed about the future certainly makes sense.I hadn't even though of it like that before but it definitely sticks out now. I have been doing that all along and hadn't even realised what I was doing. Kinda feels like I am stuck in limbo right now and I need to move onto the next step, whatever that is, I don't even know.

 

My relationship has been in trouble lately too and I keep analysing everything in my head over and over. I don't know if this contributes to the way I am feeling too. Probably does. Even with this, I dont seem to know what is right or wrong anymore. Like I said, things haven't been great but I wonder whether I am making it worse still. I get these feelings of uneasyness, like something is up. i read a text from him and it seems that the tone is off so i ask if he is ok. i don't know. it's a lot to delve into and it's so confusing.

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it is confusing. i'm in complete agreement with you there.

 

i think a relationship can be a great way to heal. it might offer you additional support...assuming it's a relationship that you feel safe in.

i know i wish that i'd been able to reach out in that way. it would have been a great way for us to grow together.

 

check out youtube for 'eckhart tolle' if you have a chance. i love listening to the guy. you get a real sense about what he's talking about...just by listening to HOW he says things. it's uplifting. i kind of made it a habit to do a bit of reading whenever my moods started to change.

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50+ Best Feeling Down Quotes
50+ Best Feeling Down Quotes

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