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I really need serious advice. I am 18 years old, recently married to a guy in the military, and now i am pregnant. He was stationed 1000 miles away from my home. I went with him. He is getting deployed in 2 months. I was always stuck in the house during the day. It was very frustrating, and the pregnancy didn't help. My mood swings were wack for a while. When my husband would get home, I would just gripe about everything. He eventually grew impatient with me. I wanted to go to the movies, but i never insisted because I knew he didn't want to. It was the same with the beach... but i became bitter... i made no new friends. i hated my life. my husband was mean to me. he'd tell me how stupid i am everyday. i know he was stressed with deployment coming up. so.. i got a puppy to give me company during the day. the puppy, of course, had to be house trained. when the puppy used to restroom on the floor and my husband was there, he would spank the dog hard and bring him to the pee pee pad. the dog was scared of him. sometimes he punished the dog too severly like putting it's face in the crap and hitting it too hard. one day he finally beat the dog until it screamed and screamed and bit him and crapped everywhere. that's when i left him and drove home. i actually had to call the mp's. i had tried to leave times before, but he never let me. sometimes he'd cry for me to stay. this time i left. i don't know if i should stay with him. i'm afraid of him becoming abusive. i was so miserable. he never hurt me, but i really Feel abused. What should i do?? he's getting deployed soon, so i don't want him to die and i would feel responsible for divorcing him, but i don't EVER want to go back there. i want to be close to my family with my baby. i'm so confused.

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i'm afraid of him becoming abusive. i was so miserable. he never hurt me, but i really Feel abused. What should i do?? he's getting deployed soon, so i don't want him to die and i would feel responsible for divorcing him, but i don't EVER want to go back there. i want to be close to my family with my baby. i'm so confused.

 

Ok....you're afraid of him becoming abusive? He already is. Are you gonna wait til he backhands you to finally call it abuse? Abuse does not have to be physical, you know. You are feeling abused because you are abused.

 

Thinking that he might die is no reason to stay with someone. If that was true, there would be no divorces, because their spouse might get hit by a car in the street on any given day of the week. I understand you would be sad if he died. Of course you would. He's the father of your baby-to-be and your husband. But divorcing him doesn't mean you don't love him. It means you love YOU and you love your baby way too much to let either of you get hurt.

 

I'm so glad you have your family to fall back on. You're so very young. I'm only 20, so I'm not preaching, I'm just saying that you're 18!! I mean, I'm not even ready to get married, I can't imagine being tied down in a relationship like this at 18! So much has happened in the past 2 years of my life. I know it will for you too.

 

Stay with your parents. Your first priority now is your baby. Don't raise him/her in an abusive environment. If your husband does in fact get killed overseas, just let him live on as a war hero to your baby. Your child doesn't have to know that he was abusive and dishonorable. It would do no good. Start a life with just the two of you and the support of your family.

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OMG I am so sorry huN! PLEASE get away from this guy! Go home to your family. He is NO GOOD! Poor puppy Please tell me you took the puppy with you and got him away from that psycho??? If you need to talk please PM me I'm here for you.

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omg, I just saw what you wrote with my reputation point. I didn't mean to make you cry!! I'm so sorry! You're going through A LOT and I absolutely did not want to make things worse at all!! I was just trying to show you that you are a victim of abuse and you and the little one deserve so much better. We girls gotta look out for each other, ya know? I'm sorry I made you upset. I really really am. (I would have sent you this in a message, but you aren't allowed to yet)

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He isn't going to be able to visit his family before his deployment, so I am going to have to go back to see him. He said that he is so sorry, and that he will change. I am going to give him another chance. I really really don't want to, but I know that I have to do this.

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You don't have to do that and you don't have to see him off. You said in your first post that you "never ever want to go back there" and now you are?

You don't have to, but if you want to and you do it, take responsibility for your bad choice.

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Like the other posters have said, you need to go home. Can you call your parents to help you get out of there? I know you must feel stuck in the situation, but you are NOT. You deserve much better and so does your baby. Your husband is displaying all the actions of an abuser. He is showing you he can be verbally abusive and he treatment of your innocent puppy is a good indication how he can treat you and your child. Go home to people that love you and make yourself and the baby safe !!

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