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is it cheating!!!


dillydilly
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting
He Calls Me Instead Of Texting

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I recently discovered that my boyfriend have been talking to a new female he met in the train station. Apperantly he has been seeing her in the morning and evening taking the train together. The cell phone records show that they have been texting each other 40-50 times during the day daily for the past month and sometimes after work along with phone conversations in between texts all when I was not around.

 

He never really had a chance to explain himslef cause I gave him the boot once I seen the phone records.. he later on did claim that they were conversating about me and that he didnt cheat.

 

I dont know if they had any physical encounter sexually but who knows. If you are in a committed relationship I feel you have no business getting to know someone (female) new especially if it was hidden from me.

 

Do you agree???????

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I have numbers for the majority of my female friends, the phone is a very convenient way of reaching someone.

 

Ya. But 50 texts a day...? Come on now. It's rather suspicious they only do it when the OP isn't around... As an adult, when I have conversations with my guy friends around my boyfriend, it's not hidden. It's completely out in the open, therefore that itself proves its innocence. Hidden converstions on the other hand are naturally signs...

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good thing we aren't dating

 

Thanks for the insult/peronal attack and the accusation that I cheat. I never have and never will but if I make a new friend and it seems we click well platonically I'll share my email or number, depending if they carry a cell or not, to hang out and such, usually double dates with our SO's. So next time, take your judgments elsewhere.

 

right, but are these new "friends" you just met on the train that you call and text 50 times a day?

 

The average cell phone user, especially younger kids, text 100 or so times a day. Think of using MSN or AIM, each time you submit a message it's basically 1 text, in a standard conversation you may do about 30-40 "texts" so 50 isn't that much, especially if the texts are simple Q's and A's.

 

Ya. But 50 texts a day...? Come on now. It's rather suspicious they only do it when the OP isn't around... As an adult, when I have conversations with my guy friends around my boyfriend, it's not hidden. It's completely out in the open, therefore that itself proves its innocence. Hidden converstions on the other hand are naturally signs...

 

Here's the thing though, was it truly hidden? Not talking about it isn't the same as hiding it. I don't tell my SO about the papers I've had to edit at my university's writing centre, doesn't mean I'm hiding it.

 

I'm not saying what he did wasn't suspicious, I already said that it was, but being a frequent texter with a new friend isn't anything more than circumstantial evidence. Now if she has the texts she could make a better argument.

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Really? None of the guys I know text other guys, at least not often.

 

some guys i know rather text a guy than call him. a guy friend and i were just talking about this the other day actually. he said he'll randomly text his guy friends if something funny happens or if he has a quick question or something, but they don't sit there and have conversations back and forth. he doesn't chat on the phone with them either, but says he'll send them a quick text about something funny or quick, but he would feel weird calling them just for that. he said most talking with his guy friends is done in person.

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I don't think there's anything wrong with having friends of the opposite sex while being in a relationship, and by extension I don't think there's anything wrong with making new friends. I do, however, think that 40-50 texts a day, plus two journeys, plus phonecalls and goodness knows what else, is WAY over the line; that much focus on one individual, combined with the absence of any mention of what must occupy a large part of the day to the partner, constitutes an emotional affair. I don't care what he claims they were talking about; if he's deliberately not mentioning it (and that amount of contact with a new female is a highly relevant thing for the partner to know, and he can't possibly claim it just slipped his mind, so it's deliberate omission because he knows it looks bad), then he's slipped into cheating, even if he has no intentions of pursuing a physical relationship with this person.

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Men dont fill out surveys either so you just gotta go with the observations. women are social creatures, chatty, in touch. Men tend not to be

 

There are exceptions of course but generally speaking...

 

Heh, many surveys men have filled out, unless you were attempting a joke

 

Quite a few men I know are texting machines, at least to the point where they will respond no matter how many times, generally speaking of where I live.

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See this is what concerns me

 

"phone conversations in between texts all when I was not around."

 

If he has nothing to hide, why didn't he tell you that

he met someone cool, and he's been talking to her.

Why has he been doing this behind your back?

 

"they were conversating about me"

 

Really? 50text msgs about YOU?

"Oh yeah, my gf is great"

"wow nice, tell me about her"

"she is 5'5" very attractive and cool"

50msgs??????

What kind of bored female want to hear all about someone else's gf who she's never met?unless he's been talking about problems between u and him....

 

To me,,,,all very suspicious....

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Thanks for the insult/peronal attack and the accusation that I cheat. I never have and never will but if I make a new friend and it seems we click well platonically I'll share my email or number, depending if they carry a cell or not, to hang out and such, usually double dates with our SO's. So next time, take your judgments elsewhere.

 

wow! Calm down, I wasn't accusing you of cheating! Dang! I was referring to the fact that I'm super territorial and I'd be really pissed if my man had a lot of girls numbers....If I'm with someone its like this: I'm either your everything or your nothing at all.

 

wow....dude.

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wow! Calm down, I wasn't accusing you of cheating! Dang! I was referring to the fact that I'm super territorial and I'd be really pissed if my man had a lot of girls numbers....If I'm with someone its like this: I'm either your everything or your nothing at all.

 

wow....dude.

 

You're territorial about your partner having female friends, I'm vigilant in defending my reputation.

 

Please don't call me dude either.

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Oh gimme a break now people.

 

This whole "ohhh, theres nothing wrong with a man having female friends"

 

who said there was?

 

You can sit there and fool yourself that if your girlfriend/boyfriend did this exact thing to you, that you'd be ok with it and think "ohhh jolly good, s/he has a new female/male friend s/he texts all day long and I only found out through phone records, nothing bad there..."

 

But you'd be pissed and suspicious.

 

I'd flip out.

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Oh gimme a break now people.

 

This whole "ohhh, theres nothing wrong with a man having female friends"

 

who said there was?

 

You can sit there and fool yourself that if your girlfriend/boyfriend did this exact thing to you, that you'd be ok with it and think "ohhh jolly good, s/he has a new female/male friend s/he texts all day long and I only found out through phone records, nothing bad there..."

 

But you'd be pissed and suspicious.

 

I'd flip out.

 

thank yoU! Me too....I'd be just as mad as the op if not worse. If you're committed to someone you have no business talking to someone of the opposite sex so often other then family. Besides, my rules are no new friends of the opposite sex once in a committed relationship...really....there's no need for it unless you're trying to keep your options open.

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