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Going so well--except this one little thing.


jhinnako

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I am dating this awesome guy--have been for about a month. We aren't yet exclusive, but he just seems to be really into me. He calls me most days, texts me several times a day, we play an online game together. He makes solid, frequent plans several days in advance, complements me all the time. Tells me that he's been thinking of me, can't wait to see me.

 

I saw him yesterday--this was about the 6th time I've seen him, I went to his house to hang out(2nd time I've been there). I ended up spending the night with him on his sofa(no sex), just cuddling. We've never done more than kissing/some boob fondling. While it was still dark, we got up and moved to his bedroom and went back to sleep, again all cuddled and wrapped up until it was time for me to go to work--it was really nice, sleeping next to him. At several points--while I was half asleep, I noticed he'd kiss my ear or the back of my head, just a quite peck, but it was sweet--he probably didn't know I was awake to realize he did it.

 

Then tonight he calls me, thanks me for spending the night, says he had a great time, said I was cuddly and he really enjoyed sleeping next to me. Asks if I made it to work on time. Asks me to hang out with him on Thursday, confirms prior plans for Friday and asks me to hang out with him on the fourth of July. He jokes about being surprised someone like me doesn't have my schedule all booked up and how he's lucky--because of how cute, funny and completely awesome I am. I mention that I'm off tomorrow and he suggests that I spend it thinking of him--all day. And that I should text him, while I'm thinking of him--to let him know that I'm thinking of him(haha). Says he can't wait to see me and mentions how unfair it is that I'll be sleeping in (my city) tonight while he's sleeping in (his city). He's all the time telling me about how it's so cool that I like the things I do, how cute I am, how I have a good sense of humor, etc.

 

So all this sounds positive, right? I really feel like he likes me--a lot. My only concern--and it's not a big one--is that he may be a bit perverse. I understand he's a guy and this stuff is normal, he just brings it up a lot--about how this model/actress/computer-generated female is so hot. About how his netflix queue on his xbox is mostly filled with rubbish movies with hot girls on the cover. Mentioning the fact that he caught sight of a boob on a quick flash of a woman's back on a movie preview or joking about how my pick of movie "hopefully at least has some boobs in it" for him. It's not that I'm bothered or made insecure by it--I'm just not use to the guys I'm dating bringing it up *so much*. Like he can't help himself. Like if there's anything remotely related to a hot woman or boobs--he's going to bring it up. Again, I *know* he's a guy and I *know* this is normal and *know* guys like that stuff. Again, it's just odd for me because I'm not use to hearing about it so much--haha. He's 27 years old. It's never happened out in public--involving a real girl(that might annoy me), only "tv/fantasy" women.

 

What do you think?

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I think talking excessively about woman's body parts like that is quite a turn off. I would tell him subtlety, "You sure talk about hot women a lot!" or throw that in a conversation next time to see what his reaction is. Maybe he will take the hint and not talk about it so much. Besides at this point in dating, he should be talking about how hot YOU are and how perverse he wants to be with YOU, not some random boob lady.

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Oh, believe me, he does talk about how "hot" I am. He's playful about it though. He just seems a bit preoccupied with girl parts, or at least, like you mentioned--doesn't know to hide it a bit in female company. I'm honestly not bothered by it--I laugh at him and roll my eyes, some times I just wonder what the point is of bringing it up around me-being a girl.

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I wholeheartedly agree with musicdee and vinceval on this one. I wonder what part of him thinks you're just another male buddy when he talks like that? I mean, at least it's only with celebrity-type women, but still.. come on...it's disrespectful to you that he'd carry on the way he does.

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Until I got to the punchline (he's 27) I was reading your post thinking "What the big deal?"

 

Even at 27, I wouldn't call his interests perverse. Maybe he is just maturing a bit slower than average. Sometimes men need to be educated by a woman.

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So other than being "mildly-perverted" and/or overly vocal about it and/or immature--do you think it sounds like he's genuinely interested in *me*?

 

goodfoot--we've kissed, he's a butt-slapper(so am I), he's touched the boobs(quite a bit yesterday), he likes to tickle me. Nothing further than that.

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So other than being "mildly-perverted" and/or overly vocal about it and/or immature--do you think it sounds like he's genuinely interested in *me*?

 

goodfoot--we've kissed, he's a butt-slapper(so am I), he's touched the boobs(quite a bit yesterday), he likes to tickle me. Nothing further than that.

 

He sounds interested in you from your comments. I'm just trying to figure out why he hasn't tried to have sex with you when he seems like a very sexual person. I'm thinking he is:

 

A) Inexperienced

 

or

 

B) Doesn't want sex to complicate the relationship

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See that's the thing--he's definitely not a bad looking guy. He's good looking, seems to have a lot of friends, he's funny--there's no reason someone like this should be inexperienced--and yet, I have to wonder. He's not an especially good kisser, which may or may not have anything to do with it. He'd mentioned he hasn't had a girlfriend in a year and a half. He also has some somewhat solitary, closet-nerd interests---avid sci-fi book reader, big gamer, plays in a band. Who knows--maybe as appealing as he is, maybe he *doesn't* have a lot of experience with girls? I too, and surprised he hasn't "moved in for the kill" yet--saying and doing these things, though I also secretly happy because I don't want to have to reject him---no point in rushing.

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