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Don't know if I'm "love shy" or not


ApolloIV

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I read the criteria I found on Wikipedia for "love shyness." I guess most of you here probably already know what it is. I've always been very shy and introverted ever since I was a little kid. I just figured it was the way I am.

 

I'm single and I'm 28 years old. I have had 2 relationships my entire life. Due to the circumstances, I never actually had to approach either of the girls I was with. One of them I met online, and eventually in person. The other one I met in high school and we were just friends first.

 

When it comes to girls I'm interested in (and there is one at the moment) I just freeze up and don't know what to say. I don't know how to initiate anything with her. I'm like Ralph Wiggum talking to Lisa on The Simpsons when he says, "So...you like...stuff?" The bad part is, I've had plenty of chances with this particular girl.

 

I blew my chance with her a couple years ago, and I still see her every day at work. I saw her at the gym one day, I got off the treadmill and was walking toward the back, and she was on a bike, and she smiled and waved. I waved back.

 

The next day, I saw her from a distance at Target, and then I passed an aisle and she was there. I didn't do anything, and just kept shopping.

 

The day after that, I was at a diner with a friend and she walked in with her dad and some younger guy. She smiled and said to me, "I see you everywhere!" And I think I just managed to say something like, "Yeah..." and probably just looked away.

 

I wasn't interested in her back then, and now looking back on all these things, I feel like I wasted so many chances to get to know her, all in a matter of 3 days! She doesn't say anything to me anymore (she never said much during work before anyway) ever since that day I saw her at the diner.

 

But so much time has passed since then that I doubt she really cares or even remembers anymore. The thing is that she was the one to show interest, or at least show something, back then, and I blew it. She smiled, she waved, she said something to me.

 

And I've been kicking myself ever since! I guess it's hard because I still see her at work all the time. I just wish I could let her know that I'm not rude, mean or unfriendly, I'm just shy, and I was interested! Now it's too late, and I really regret it. I don't know if this makes me "love shy" but I felt like the description, or at least some of it, fit me pretty well.

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Start smiling at her. After she smiles back a few times then go a 'hello' and then later you can build it up so you get to know her. I am sure she would like you to make an effort. She would probably be happy to get a smile. I know I would if there was a guy I used to like. I'm sure she'd understand if you ever explained that you were shy and that's why you hadn't spoken more before.

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I can try that, but I'm just worried that it's been so long that she doesn't care. I don't know if she liked me or not back then, but I don't want to live with regret over something like this. There's just something about her that I can't put into words.

 

I can try saying hello when we pass in the hall, but she doesn't seem to be very friendly around me anymore! Whenever we pass, she doesn't look at me, and last week, I saw her walk by me, just the two of us passing in the hallway, and she kind of looked down at the ground when she saw me. I got the impression that she didn't want to associate with me. But who knows...

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She probably just got fed up because you didn't speak to her before. I liked a guy who was shy and he gave me no signs so I've given up and can't be bothered with him anymore. That said, if he'd start and try and communicate with me I'd be happy to respond. She probably feels the same way.

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mmm I cant say I have any helpful advice for you sorry, other than whats been mentioned like smiling and just kinda working your way towards small talk and progress from there... but by clicking on here and then looking up this love shyness I seem to fit almost all the listed definitions ...great, but cant say I agree on alot of his observations/causes at least in my case...ugghh

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I find it very difficult to even say so much as, "Hi" when we pass by eachother in the hallway. I get all nervous and sometimes my heart pounds really fast when I see her. I don't know why, and I have no control over it. But I guess I have to start somewhere.

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Well I passed by her today on the stairs. It was really quick. It looked like she was smiling anyway, so I can't say she was smiling at me. I looked her in the eye as we passed, and I said hi, but it happened so fast, I don't know if it registered to her. She didn't say anything back, at least nothing I heard. Oh well, I tried!

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I used to be like this in high school but the opposite happened to your story.

 

A girl I had a crush on approached me, smiled, and said "Hi" seemingly out of nowhere.... I never told anyone I had a crush on her, nor had I ever talked to her before. I of course choked up as my guard was completely down, and it was awkward. However, I pulled off a smile just in time. I ended up taking her to a dance later on.

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