Why do we do this?

[UltimateX]

Hi all!

 

I was just wondering why so many on this board (including myself) have such a hard time letting go of someone that really isn't good for them. The funny thing is, WE KNOW THIS but we still long for them after the breakup. I keep reminding myself of all the crappy things she did, but still my heart is broken.

 

In my case I don't believe it is a self esteem issue as I feel confident in myself and my abilities to move on. It's just I keep missing her so much. Only 7 days into NC... I know it will get better but why can't I see her for what she is? I know it would be a lot easier if I could.

 

Any thoughts?

 

X

[Cognitive_Canine]

A plethora of reasons.

 

- not wanting to let go

- afraid of not finding someone else

- seeing breakups as failures

- family or peer pressure

- seeing potential in that person (who they can be)

- being manipulated by that person (strung along, put on backburner)

- wanting to get back what you both once had

 

You know whether or not something is a good decision. Don't let your heart drag you through the dirt. It's hard not to listen to your heart. The heart is like that really convincing drunk friend sometimes.

[LazyDaisy]

I don't know why - but when I look back at some of the boyfriends I had when I was younger, that I thought I couldn't live without at the time - I think to myself "What was I thinking?"

 

In time you will see her for what she is, but it takes time.