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I'm falling apart...depressed


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Hello everyone! First of thank you for listening to my story. I am going through a very rough time right now. My bf recently broke up w. me for the second time last week. He accused me of flirting w. his friend in front of him at a party we went to. This is so untrue! I am a social person and would never dare flirt w. any guy, esp. if I love my bf...he said the most I should've said to his friend was "hi" even if his friend was continuing a conversation...I'm just not a rude person and I wouldnt ignore someone if they are talking to me. Yet, he didn't want to hear a word I had to say and said that I was a "red flag." He even told his family members, making me look like I'm the bad guy.

 

Right now my self esteem is low. The first time he broke up with me about 3 weeks ago, he totaled his car two days later and called me. I was there for him and we ended up patching things up a week later and got bak together. A few days ago he thought he had alcohol poisoning and he called me. I went to check on him and he looked horrible! I brought him some water and he was back to being his swt self. Very affectionate, even told me he loved me numerous times and said if I ever needed anything he'd always be there for me. Today, he text me and said that I am a distraction to him and he needs to get his life together and since he met me I have prevented him from going forward in life. He was pretty mean and said I don't want to hang with you or party with you anymore and it's not up for debate. I just dont get how two days ago he was so sweet to me when I went to check on him and today I feel like he hates me! Sometimes when we are together he will completely shut down and not speak to me at all...I've been so good to him yet he thinks I am a flirt and a liar.

 

Did I mention he has a psycho ex that he claimed ransacked his apt a day ago? She has popped up unannounced and even cheated on him when they were together. When she found out he was with me, she started acting like a nut case doing everything in her power to break us apart. After she ransacked his place, he went to speak to her and her mom about it which pissed me off even more, bcus she only wants attention. I feel like im such a good woman, and I have a huge heart and I get taken for granted. Idk what to do right now and I can barely sleep or eat...he knows I love him and a day ago he said he loves me, but I think he is easily influenced by other people and it is making me fall apart guys. Please I need help. I'm literally in tears now and not sure why it is hard to move forward.

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Hello! I see nobody has responded to your thread so I am going to have a go.

 

You seem like a sweet girl. There are some issues here separate to the relationship, but he seems to be making it about you. He totalled his car. Accidents happen, yes, but he did not respond maturely. I think there is also an element here of blaming you for what he is doing. Sorry, this is not super clear, its late here in Sydney. Maybe others can give more advice.

 

BUT It seems he is being a bit of a jerk. It might be time to communicate very firmly your needs, which seem uncertain as it stands, or move on.

 

Clarify needs, speak, act accordingly. Everyone deserves a chance but I am not liking the sound of your post. If you were happy with this situation you would not be posting here.

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Sorry, okay, I see now he had alcohol poisoning. I know the young folks binge drink these days but that is not good. He should be so scared by the experience he should be fully reformed already, and loving you to the end. Something wrong with this picture.

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The guy obviously has issues. He has a psycho ex that he still talks to *Red Flag*, your depressed *Red Flag*, he treats you like an option not a priority *Red Flag*, He disregards what you say and how you think *Red Flag*.. too many red flags.

 

He might be just using you. And he could have a girl on the side, maybe still seeing his ex?!

 

Either way, you need to find out what YOU want. You can't change the situations and events, all you can do is act on your behalf. Either put up with it, or move on.. if there continues to be a lack of communication, then it will never be resolved, then move on.

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