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In love with best friend-we are both girls.


ThePurpleFrog

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I am absolutely in love with my best friend, who is also a girl. Two years ago, I moved here with my mom, little brother, and stepdad. She lives accross the street from me. I realized that I love her about a year ago, last summer. We were sitting under a tree, and I just felt a connection with her. We were sitting so close and I couldn't help but stare at her. She is so beautiful. To this day, I am still madly in love. I know she knows how I feel, but never says anything about it. I am now fifteen and she turns fifteen on the thirtieth this month. She has always been a little less mature, so I don't know if she iis ready for me to come straight out and tell her. I has sleepovers with her at my house often. About 7 months ago, we started becoming very intimate when she pretends to sleep. I know she pretends, because I can see her looking at me with her eyes open and randomly grunts for attention. I also know because the things we do would wake anyone up. The first time, I caught her looking at me when I thought she was sleeping. So I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I need to tell you something. I am in love with you, and I have been for a whole year,". I turned her over and kissed her a little on the lips, and I felt her kissing back. When she "woke up" when we were done kissing, she completely pretended that she didn't hear one word I said. I asked her "what would you say if I told you I was in love with you?" and she said "well, I wouldn't be sleeping over or hanging out with you too much anymore, because it would he awkward." and I said okay just wondering. Every sleepover after that gets more and more intimate, and I always tell her how much I love her before we go at it. When she wakes up though, she disregards everything just like t never happened. I have also tried telling her I was in love with her, but always told her I was just kidding at the end because too scared that she might not love me back. Now when I actually try to tell her, she doesn't believe me even though I know she can hear me at sleepovers. Please help me, I love her so much

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Ok, i'm typing with on hand here, so you'll have to excuse me (broken collarbone, before anyone flames).

 

You're both very young, so the love aspect is a bit subjective, and she's obviously not too comfortable with the idea at the moment.

 

It sounds as though you're walking a fine line as far as consent goes - ask youself this - is there any chance she could really have been sleeping? Grunts and responses can be totally normal in a semi-conscious state, as can eye flickering.

 

Now, if you don't mind saying (PM is fine), how far have the two of you gone over the last 7 months, and, as stupid a question as this is for me to ask, has she actually been fully awake for any of it? I just ask because there are a couple of different contexts that I can think of, and that'll affect what I say next.

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I agree with dragunov that she really could be sleeping.

I think the best thing to do in this case is to stop making any advances during any of these sleepovers. If it's something she really wants it, not getting it anymore may make her more open to the idea of you two being together.

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you shouldn't let your feelings cloud your judgement. like the other posters have said, she may have really been sleeping, and your advances may have been unwarrented. you would be surprised what a person would agree to while they are asleep... people usually have no controll over their actions when they are in a subconscious state. you really have to ask your self whether she genuinely reciprocated your advances. has she ever initiated anything?

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I think this is all very normal. I had the same thing when I was very young, with another girl, though I was much younger than you.

 

It's part of growing up and exploring your sexuality. I have never done anything like that again in my life. I think its very easy for young adolscents to fall in love with their friends. In a way, its kind of beautiful.

 

I think your friend is just feeling a bit ashamed because she is enjoying it. She most probably IS pretending to be asleep like you say, because it makes her feel better and less ashamed, so easier to deal. This sort of thing arouses great feelings of guilt in young people, as I also had.

 

This will be a phase and will pass eventually, when some strapping lad comes along. lol

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Assuming you are not pranking - the relationship you are considering to pursue is considered a subject of taboo in society. I say this not in a prejudiced or pejorative manner but just as a matter of fact statement. So chances are against your favour in terms of how she perceives a girl-girl relationship IRRESPECTIVE of how she feels about you. It's the same reception as you would expect if you talked about work, having periods, masturbation, tried to date an Asian boy etc (There's actually a book about things you don't do or say in society - which I am quoting as I browsed through it out of interest).

 

So yeah, this is what she (not just you) would be up against irrespective of whether she actually likes you (big if from what you said), and if you guys went out I wonder whether she would be prepared to bare the social consequences.

 

Just a thought.

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This,might sound weird but,I've been going through the same thing since I was six,I never acted until I was 8, but I had'nt done that again until I was 10,now I'm 12 and going trough that stage again,it was nothing more than kissing,until I was 10,but then I went to my friends house and it was the day before my birthday and-well I'll put the rest in my profile okay...What I'm trying to say is that I agree with love between girls it's fine,there's no pain to it,and I have a gay uncle,and my grown-up best friends are lesbians, so it's fine.

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